Dating a woman with kids can be a challenging endeavor. In a relationship, it is about the chemistry and the connection between two people. In the case of a single mother, it is about the kids too.
Dating a woman with kids will demand a lot of compromises on your part. She would not always be there for you, she has a lot on her mind and schedule. You would be the one who will have to understand her problems and support her.
And then there are kids too. If you are serious about that woman, you will have to be very careful with the kids. Most kids are not happy with the idea of another man in their mother’s life.
Do not rush and be over-friendly. Take time to bond with them. It will make her trust you with her kids and it will also earn you the kid’s approval.
Although it seems like a scary ride, if taken care of these seventeen issues, it can be the best experience of your life in dating a woman with kids.
1) You will never be her first priority
It goes without saying that for a mother her children would be her topmost priority. Her mind would always be ruling with the worries of her child’s meals, needs, and schedule.
You might be her second or sometimes her third prime concern. She is catering to the father’s role too.
It is understandable that you want her attention and time. If you care about her, do not complain. It is already difficult for her to manage her life.
You adding onto her problems will only make you look like an insensitive person in her eyes. Help her by being considerate.
2) Plan ahead of time
Given that most of her time is set according to her kid’s routine, you must always plan ahead of time. She cannot adjust your plan in her routine just like that, she will have to find a babysitter, rearrange her schedule and see that no problem pops out all of a sudden.
Also, be prepared for the plans to be canceled. No prior planning can dissuade a problem that is doomed to happen. Her child might get ill, babysitter might not show up, or maybe an unexpected school event comes up. For all these problems, be patient and sensitive to her plight.
3) Be spontaneous
The point made above is not to be contradicted, but a little spontaneity can earn you extra points when dating a woman with kids. A mother’s life is tightly scheduled and there is a certain monotony to it.
There are chances of her getting bored with her life. You can make her smile by dropping a call or a message to ask about her day.
She will feel relaxed after talking to somebody who would not talk about responsibilities. Be well aware of her timetable. Whisk her away for a small vacation or an unplanned date when you know about the time kids are spending at their father’s place.
You can make use of the time to your heart’s content.
Very few men date women with kids. And one night stands is next to impossible. The majority of single mothers crave to have mind blown sex.
The possible reason could be a lack of excitement in her life. So, when dating a single mother you can get a lot of sex, which is obviously a plus point.
As mentioned above if you take advantage of the kid’s time spent at their father’s place or indulging in any other activity, you can get a lot of uninterrupted sex.
5) Pampering includes calling the babysitter
If you want to whisk her away on normal weekends or surprise her out on a day on regular days, you must arrange for a babysitter too. Otherwise, she will be distracted with worry the whole time.
And there is an advice for you; do not make nonrefundable reservations. Because anything can come up.
6) Your relationship would not proceed as other’s relationships
In the initial stage of a relationship sharing hobbies, traveling and spending private time allow couples to get into each other’s personal space.
These activities let two people experience different things and grow together as a couple. While any other friend of yours might be doing all that, your girlfriend might be having difficulty in looking for a babysitter for your next date.
You would not even have the privilege to sleep next to each other, make love or even cuddle whenever you want when dating a single mother. The benchmark of your relationship can only be your bonding with her kid.
A single mother would trust you enough to let down her guards in front of you only when her kid trusts you.
7) Everything counts as double
When you are dating a woman with a kid, you must understand that she is not just guarding herself against any hurt, she is also guarding her child.
Whenever somebody is hurt it affects the loved ones too. If you would hurt her, it will affect her parenting too.
As mentioned above her child is her first priority. So you must learn to accept both humans as they are in order to have a healthy relationship.
8) Be ready to watch Frozen
When bonding with the child you must be ready and willing to watch an animated movie they want. Today’s time being the Frozen fever times, you will have to watch it even if you have no interest.
Because you can just not be a child’s favorite if you refuse to watch their favorite movie.
Give some of your time to the child too. Try to learn about them too. It warms a woman’s heart to see a guy trying to accommodate her life. If her child is happy, she is happy. And you are good to go.
9) Empathize with her
Something on similar lines has already been mentioned, but to just stress a little more. Whenever in a fix, try to put yourself in her shoes, try to understand that being a single mother she has every right to live her life to the fullest like every other woman.
Do not be an added burden to her. Be her support and a companion. As long as she is treating you well and taking extra measures for you, you are the luckiest man on earth.
10) She might not consider your problems as serious enough
Although she is treating you well, there will be times when she would not understand your problems. As a single mother, she might have gone through a divorce or a broken relationship.
Sometimes she will be so consumed in her daily chores that she would think that you are not understanding her anguish.
You may just simply say that you are tired, but her thought process would be something along the lines of, ” You say you are tired? I have not slept peacefully since the day my kid was born.”
But, if you tackle that situation well, you can make her realize that she has some double standards.
11) Her ex might still be in the picture
There are chances that maybe things between her and her ex, did not end up badly, they were just too mature people who did not get along too well. And having a child, they will have shared responsibilities and they are on friendly terms.
When dating such a single mother, you will have to come to terms with the fact that she has another man in her life. As long as you are not insecure and jealous, it is no issue at all. It does not have to matter.
12) Don’t waste her time with any games
If you are planning on playing silly games with her. Do not waste your time and hers. She has gone through a lot in her life, and all that have forced her to grow up earlier than her age.
She is a mature woman with a plan in her life. So, if you are serious and have a plan of your own, only then pursue her. Otherwise, go on your own way and let her be on her own.
13) Do not ask stupid questions
Never, under any circumstances, ask a stupid question. Any stupid question related to her situation will put you in a difficult situation, like “why did not you go for an abortion?” Or ” why did not you give the custody to the father?” Such questions will make you look like an insensitive piece of trash.
When dating a single mother asking such a question will give her the signal that you loathe her child, that her child is a hurdle for you, even if you are just asking her out of curiosity. And you would not want that.
14) They do not tolerate drama
As already mentioned, they are not in for any games. They simply do not have time for that. If they ever think that there something missing, or going wrong in her relationship with you she would come out and tell you without any sweet talks. You might think that you have
You might think that you have a lack of communication issues, but she is a mature woman and she expects you to be on the same level of maturity. She would not explain herself again and again and neither would she expect you to do so.
15) Show your concern for her child
This is the universal fact that the truest form of unconditional love is the love a woman has for her child. Every mother loves to talk about her child. If you are pursuing her for a relationship, the best way is to show your interest in what she loves most.
Hence, when dating a woman with kids, ask her about her kids, listen with great attentiveness, and show concern for her children. When she will be assured that you care about her children, she would be more open towards the relationship.
16) They are powerhouses
Single mothers are one of the strongest people to have ever walked on planet earth. They have stood through every difficulty in their life. They have fought every battle that life has thrown their way with great resilience.
Single mothers have always bounced back with the same vigor. And, not to mention they have given birth. And labor pain can put any other pain to shame.
So, when dating a single mother, remember that you are dating an honorable and simply drop-dead amazing woman. when dating a single mother, remember that you are dating an honorable and simply drop-dead amazing woman.
17) Love her
Every human being deserves to be loved. And a woman who has gone through so much in her life deserves it a little more. Once you pass every stage, the results will be according to your likings.
She will have so much love to return to you. Once she learns to trust you, she will commit to you completely and honestly. And she will give her a hundred percent in your relationship.
A mother knows the true essence of love. She is the epitome of love. She has the ability to love you like no one can ever love you.
Dating a woman with kids may seem a demanding and exhausting job. But, a single mother is like every other woman and she must live her life to the fullest too.
Give her the chance. If you get accustomed to her child and create a bond with her. You will definitely learn to learn the child too, you might love them like your own over the period of time.
Dating a woman with kids, it is about the kids too. is a roller coaster ride, but if taken all precautionary measures, it is going to be the most adventurous and exhilarating ride of your life.
Images courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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