Men are not as vocal about their needs as women. As such, it’s easy to regard them as not romantic or always expect them to initiate intercourse. It couldn’t be further from the truth.
Try being romantic with him, and you will discover how much he enjoys it.
It doesn’t have to be an event; small gestures turn him on just as much. And, if it’s something he values, it is more impactful. Waiting for your husband to initiate romance can be tiring and quickly robs off the spark both partners have in the early days of marriage.
Becky Thompson, the author of the book ‘Love Unending: Rediscovering Your Marriage in the Midst of Motherhood, observes that a majority of couples forget how to be romantic and get extremely comfortable.
She adds that this is what causes the end of an otherwise promising marriage. It’s time women stopped complaining about their husband’s lack of romance and take matters in their hands. We explain 17 ways you can be romantic with your husband:
1. Keep that Spark Lit.
Husbands are tasked with lots of family responsibilities that easily weigh them down and cause them to forget about essential things that keep that spark lit. It leaves them in no mood to be romantic.
One way to keep that spark lit is to incorporate romantic gestures in your daily routine. A quick peck on the cheek when he is leaving for work should do. You want to make it longer than usual to get him on board.
According to Marriage and Family Therapist, Moshe Ratson, romance with your husband requires planning and effort. As such, you need to create time to connect with him emotionally and physically. Let him know you appreciate him. If you are busy, develop a ritual, e.g., occasional weekend trips together or weekly date nights.
2. Be Touchy with Him.
Even the slightest touch evokes intimacy with your husband. Note, it’s not about giving him a massage or sex, simply touch and show affection during your daily activities. Hold hands when walking down the street or play footsie on the couch.
It reassures and reminds him that you love him and appreciate his body. According to Barbara De Angelis, the author of the Book Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know, exploring other parts of the body allows you to know every part of his body.
3. Change Your Outfit.
Men are visual beings. As such, putting on a dress that he likes should turn him on. Don’t just wear a cute dress because that’s what he expects from you, put some thought into it. Dress according to his taste every once in a while.
If he comments how great you look in that floral shirt dress, dress it up with some gorgeous earrings and block-heeled shoes for your next date. Barbara De Angelis (in her book, Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know) adds that going for a short shopping trip and letting him choose outfits he would love to see you wear also gets him in a romantic mood.
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4. Switching Up Things in the Bedroom.
Marriage causes couples to settle into a routine that can get boring over time. Try something new to spice things up. As such, if you like having sex with the lights off, keep them on for a change.
Also, if the kids are away, consider doing it in a different room. Whatever your bedroom routine has been, it’s time to break it. Spontaneity infuses romance back into the relationship.
What’s more, if he had suggested it earlier, he feels like he is being heard. Ask about his fantasies. It will make him feel desired and wanted, which is a great way to initiate intimacy.
5. Compliment Him.
Even husbands love being complimented. Thus, it is essential to tell him what you love about him often. It helps him feel loved and appreciated. For example, if he makes you laugh, or you admire how driven he is, tell him.
6. Encourage Him to Do Things He Likes.
If he likes joining his friends for a guy’s night out, encourage him to do so. Guys need to spend time with their friends just as much as women need girl’s time. It allows him to engage in activities he likes without feeling guilty about not including you.
What’s more, it makes you come off independent, confident, and sassy. The next time he wants to watch the game with his friends, let him. It may be the perfect time to soak in the tub and stream one of your favorite comedies.
According to a survey conducted by the National Retail Federation, 50% of people aged 25-34 years prefer gifts that have them sharing experiences. This is because experiential gifts create memories. Thus, when picking gifts, choose something that you will enjoy together, e.g., exploring a new city together.
8. Spend Time Together.
Marriage involves spending half of your life together. It creates a familiarity that prevents partners from engaging in activities they used to do before the wedding. Maybe it’s time you started dating again.
You not only need to spend quality time together but also get to focus on each other for a few hours. You can also buy tickets to watch a movie he is excited about. Consider getting ready separately and meeting at the venue, just like your early dating days.
9. Write a Sexy Note.
A flirty note should get him looking forward to a romantic night. Whether it’s funny, x-rated or sweet, message write smoothing he will love. Tuck it inside a book he is reading, his briefcase or lunch bag. It’s an easy and sweet surprise that makes him feel appreciated and romanced.
10. Flirting will help you to be Romantic with your Husband.
If you still don’t have ideas on how to romance your husband try flirting with him. A little flirtation comes a long way in getting him into the mood. Send him a sexy message while at work, lean over his shoulder when shopping, and whisper sweet things.
If you are out on a date, write something on his napkin and pass it to him. Having a unique language or code for this kind of fun flares up into romance pretty fast.
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11. Try Something New.
Routine activities can quickly breed boredom in a marriage. It’s essential to engage in new activities occasionally as you get to bond over the unique experience. You can sign the two of you for a dancing class, cooking class, or sporting activity you always wanted to try.
According to the author of A 14-Day Challenge, Sharon Jaynes, your husband loves the idea that you like spending time with him. Mark your calendars to ensure you are both available on that day.
12. Affirm Him.
Having a critical attitude not only repels him but also rids of any possibility of getting into a romantic mood. You need to affirm him often; it makes him desire you and feel attracted to you. As such, every time you notice something good about him, tell him.
Avoid bringing up other issues when giving such compliments. Genuine compliments bring out the best out of him, and he strives to do his best too.
13. Let Him Know What You Want.
Men are not mind readers; thus, if you want him to treat you a certain way, tell him. If he does not know, he won’t know how to meet your needs. Don’t be shy at expressing your desires, especially if there’s something you would want him to do.
You also need to reinforce gestures or things you would like him to do. For example, if you like it when he helps you with the dishes let him know. Also, appreciate the gesture by saying thank you. It encourages him to do these things often, out of love, and you can easily initiate a romantic mood.
Related Article: 75 Proven Tips On How To Romance Your Husband.
14. Encourage Intimacy.
Intimacy is not just about having sex. It is an emotional process that starts way before the act. Communication is the key to initiating any form of intimacy. Share your dreams, thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and accomplishments.
Turn off the television, put away your phones and talk while looking into his eyes. Sometimes he just wants you to listen to his day’s activities or a unique experience at work. Allow him to feel vulnerable around you by listening to him.
It gives him confidence in knowing that you appreciate his ambitions and desires hence more likely to reciprocate with romantic gestures. According to Gottman’s Method for Healthy Relationships, the ordinary and often fleeting moments in a couple’s daily life have a significant impact on the health of their relationship.
As such, if he wants to recount the details of a movie he watched last night or an experience with a troubling client at work, let him. It may feel like he is giving you too much information, but it’s a way of getting closer and intimate. Simple activities like creating a grocery list together is a way of sharing time, and showing love.
15. Discuss Your Romantic Expectations.
Partners have different views of romance, and unless discussed, they are likely to get very disappointed. Tell your hubby things that make you feel appreciated and loved. Similarly, he should also share gestures that make him loved.
Be sure to listen to each other. Learning to give each other attention shows care and love. If he is distracted when talking to him, ask him to listen. Make him understand how much it means to you when he is attentive.
Knowing that you are being heard cements the feeling of connection to one another. The best way to improve your listening skills is to listen actively. You acknowledge that you are listening and understanding what is being said by nodding.
Active listening also involves making interruptions to get clarification or disagree. If you want to interrupt, do it reasonably, e.g., by asking, ‘Sorry, can I ask a question?.’ If you disagree with the whole idea, wait until he has finished talking to express disagreement.
16. Build Healthy Communication.
It’s easy to kill romance even at the slightest provocation. As such, you need to communicate your frustration without creating an argument. Avoid fighting and create time for romance by relating in a healthy and affirming way.
Instead of expressing anger every time he is late for dinner say,’ I feel disappointed when I prepare dinner, and you are not here to enjoy it.’ Communicate without blame. Also, use ‘I’ in your statements. For example, you can say, ‘I don’t like it when you fail cleaning up after yourself.’
17. Engage in Different Expressions of Love.
Five love languages describe the way people give and receive love in a relationship. They include acts of service, affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gifts. It is important to discuss ways each of you feel loved and responds to the other’s love languages.
For example, you may enjoy expressing love using gifts while your husband prefers acts of service. Knowing each other’s love language helps you acknowledge when he/ she acts as such. If you respond to physical touch, tell him how much you love a gentle caress or a loving embrace.
Quit waiting for your husband to be romantic. He may be under immense stress at work and to provide for the family. As such, you should not mount more pressure by requiring him to take you out every weekend. Take the lead once in a while.
Being romantic toward him creates feelings of appreciation and love. Understand his language of love. Keep in mind; men are not as emotional as women. Thus, they are likely to respond to acts of service than gifts or physical touch.
Also, be spontaneous at it. Routine, however, romantic can get boring and predictable. The essence of romance is to engage in an unusual activity. You want him to anticipate something new every time you are initiating a romantic experience.