What do you think you need most in your marriage to make it as happy as you ever imagined? Is it money? Love? Or are there secrets to a happy union that many don’t know? Couples today face a lot of challenges ranging from financial to personal issues that threaten to destroy their union.
They can overcome these problems through determination and willingness to maintain the love that brought the two of them together, in the first place. But beyond challenges are some of those things couples are doing and are not away it is destroying their union. Here are 12 ways you are unknowingly destroying your union and the solutions to them.
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Not Having Enough Time For Your Spouse
During courtship, couples find it hard to spend the entire day without having contact. This helps brew the affection and intimacy between them, and finally make them realize they should be together.
After coming together, however, things change for many couples. The husband is never at home and when he is at home, he spends time with his friends and colleagues watching football or playing video games.
Couples should always find time for each other. If not every day, at least during the weekends. Women need attention and the connection between the two of you as you spend time together will help improve your relationship and save your union.
Communication Is No Longer In Existence
Another way many young couples are blowing off the steam in their love without knowing is, killing the communication. More than love or even trust, communication is needed to survive. Husband and wife must find time to talk about almost every issue to ensure they are on the right page at all times.
If you have problems with communication nothing will ever go the way you want to, and there won’t be any meaningful progress. Lack of communication will lead to assumptions and accusations that can eventually break the marriage. So, make sure you have the line of conversation always open at all times.
Putting Other Things Before Your Spouse
Marriage is all about sacrifice, even from the beginning. When two people are in a union, they must share everything, and many decisions cannot be made in the absence of the other person’s opinion.
Putting other things before your spouse shows that you are more about your end than the combined view of the two of you. It also means that your spouse does not matter in the affairs of your life and you’re right on your own. This is no union at all, but there are ways to fix it.
- Whatever you do make sure you put your spouse into consideration first.
- Be there for them when they need you most.
- Give them that confidence that you have their back at all times.
- Always remind your wife you love her and give her reasons to remain confident in you.
Talking More Than Listening
Women like to talk a lot. Research shows that while women speak at least 13,000 words a day, mean only speak just 7,000 words. Many couples have destroyed a loving and promising relationship because of the simple fact that they don’t know when to talk and when to keep quiet.
As a husband, it is your responsibility to know that women talk a lot and you should be the one to listen more. The woman should also not take things too far because one person speaking is hardly a conversation; it’s a monologue. Couples should practice the habit of allowing the other person to have their say to balance things up.
Withholding Intimacy And Affection
Sometimes couples may be going through issues and the husband or wife decides to hold back. This is bad for the marriage, and the end is usually very disastrous. Withholding intimacy might lead to the other person seeking solace outside of the union, which can lead to frustration, cheating, and all forms of infidelity.
No matter what you’re going through never stop giving your wife the affection she deserves. Regular sex is also very much needed. Sex should be fun and not about crude jokes or focusing only on your own orgasm. Reach out to your wife and let her feel you and be on the same level as you.
Nurturing Unrealistic Expectations
Expectations are reasonable, but nurturing unrealistic ones can be utterly damaging and out of place. Expectations are natural feelings. You want your husband to be caring, bring you breakfast in bed, be able to cook and make you scream during sex. But then, in reality, you find out you’re only getting half or none of these and that is making you feel unfulfilled in your relationship.
You have to let go of those unrealistic expectations and focus on the present. Get rid of that prince charming whispering in your ears and concentrate your energy on the tangible one you have on the ground. A strong relationship takes work, and you must be ready to work on yourself along with your spouse to succeed.
Being Disrespectful Is Not Healthy For Your Marriage
Disrespect can occur in different ways. If you’re making all the decisions, using a harsh tone, joking too much or being lazy, you don’t have enough respect for your partner. Disrespecting your partner can lead to serious marriage problems that will take a very long time and effort to fix.
You can gain your partner’s confidence back by reassuring them that you’re ready to make amends. Be slow to speak at all times and avoid making jokes about almost everything. Don’t interrupt when your partner is talking. Acknowledge their accomplishment.
Not Providing For The Family
It is the duty of a man to provide for the family, while the woman supports him. Many men are unknowingly destroying their love today by refusing to carry the responsibilities they are naturally disposed to be responsible for.
Not providing for the family will make them lack the necessary things that will make life easy for them and that will not make any woman happy at all. As the head of the family, ensure that you provide for every member of your family, whatever they need, by:
- Making sure the children are eating healthy and living in a conducive environment.
- Ensuring you give them all the love they deserve to help improve their mental and emotional state.
- Creating an atmosphere of love, peace, and tranquility.
- Building synergy and strong bonds between every member of the family.
Poor Handling Of Resources
For a marriage to remain prosperous and progressive, there is a need for proper financial stability. Many couples today have issues with their finances not because they don’t make enough money but because of the poor handling of resources.
Buying what you don’t need, going on expensive vacations, going on a regular shopping spree, and blowing credits can cause serious issues. Husband and wife should plan their spending and develop the habit of saving.
Using Strong Words Will Destroy your Marriage
Anger and frustration can sometimes set in, and your instant reaction would be to use strong words. This can damage your union in no small way and cause you to lose the affection and connectivity you have with your spouse.
Try as much as possible to avoid using harmful words that will stick in mind forever. Put your anger under control and seek professional help if you think you’re losing it.
Criticism is good in marriage to correct some issues and get things right, once in a while. But when you complain all the time you behave like one of those high-maintenance people and make your partner feel incompatible.
Criticizing your husband or wife all the time will make you look like you’re trying to control them to meet up with your standard. If you have a partner that criticizes you all the time and you can’t bear it anymore, there are ways to handle it.
- Use humor to diffuse critical statements and shield yourself from their negativity.
- Remind yourself that this problem is not yours but that of your spouse.
- Through subtle communication, help them know what the criticism is doing to you.
- Create a phrase that tells them their criticism is getting too much.
Never Being Happy
Happiness is not something you can easily fake. Not being happy can ruin your marriage since your partner will not feel comfortable about it. If you are unhappy, you need to find out what is wrong. You also need to make yourself understand that your state of pessimism affects your partner and you must find a solution fast before things turn south.
Find out what is causing you not to be happy and come up with a solution. Discuss it with your partner and together see how you can get a reasonable and lasting solution. Talk about your strengths and difficulties and let reason be yourself guidance.
It takes work to make a healthy home. If you are facing challenges maybe you’re the reason. These 12 habits can ruin your love life fast unless you address them and find a solution as quickly as possible. Try to be happy, curb your criticism, be respectful, and avoid nurturing unrealistic expectations. Husband and wife must always communicate and talk things through to find a lasting solution to their challenges.
is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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