Is your Marriage becoming a bore? Boredom tops the list of the reasons that kill marriages. Boredom in marriage is like a plague. It eats away into your happiness as a couple. Before you realize it, one thing leads to the other.
To escape tedious marriages, spouses indulge in dangerous activities. Your partner may pick up habits such as coming home late and preferring the company of their friends or work.
Separation, drama and poor sex life are just some of the consequences. The reasons behind boredom in marriages vary from one couple to the other. However, the blueprint to avoid boredom in your marriage is easy.The good news is that you can avoid boredom in your marriage without escaping the marriage.
To spice up your marriage, apply the following 15 proven ways to avoid boredom in your marriage. It’s a guarantee to improving your marriage.
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Break Your Routines
Do you want to avoid boredom in your marriage? It’s as easy as avoiding routine. First of all, you need to understand that marriage involves lots of work to keep it alive. Boredom can easily creep if you settle for the same activities. Carrie Starr and Ervin Starr articulate that routine causes boredom in your marriage in their book “Marriage Adventures: The Secret to an Extraordinary Life Together.”
It takes two to tango in a marriage. It’s entirely up to you and your spouse how your marriage plays out.Therefore, go out of your way to make it enjoyable. To spice things up, be spontaneous.Do something special for your partner every day.
Surprise your spouse with a gift. You see those running shoes he/she has been meaning to get but has been too busy to shop. Surprise him/her. It does not need to be material support, be encouraging when life is playing a number on them.
Take time to understand your spouse and meet their needs.Be present to notice the changes that are taking place in your spouse. He/she could be going through menopause, retrenchment, retirement, or loss of a loved one. Such things may affect your marriage hence you should be supportive of your partner at all times.
Bring Back Your First Love
Do you remember how you used to miss him? How did you to treat him when you first got married? The way you burnt with passion? Invite back the first months of dating that your love was intense. Slide back to the days when it was your life’s mission to spend lots of time with your spouse.
The pampering was insane back then, right? You are the same people that had made it possible, and you still have the same potential.Replicate and recreate that life to avoid boredom in your marriage. Shonda Miles offers a great understanding of how to rekindle that first love in her book“How to Love Your Spouse Again.”
Create more memories by celebrating your wedding anniversaries and birthdays. During such times, you can watch your wedding video together and look at your wedding photos. They have a way of bringing back fond memories.
Moreover, look at your spouse as you did when you first dated. Treat them with the same love and respect. Happiness is infectious. Your spouse will return your love and the old spark you shared will slowly be rekindled.
Introduce Date Nights
What are date nights? Many people tend to confuse date nights with weekends or family getaways. While this is not the case. Date nights should be time set aside for couples to be away from their normal routine to be together. During this time the couple engages in bonding activities.
You can do things such as having good sex, dinner in a special restaurant or watch a movie.Clinton W. McLemore and Anna M. McLemore in their book “Staying One: How to Avoid a Make-Believe Marriage,” give a lot more suggestions.
Use this time as a couple to talk about your marriage. Catch up on things that you usually do not discuss every other day. This helps in making sure that your love is rejuvenated and that you are on the same page in your marriage. It also gives you time to make plans without outside interference.
Do Things that Make Your Adrenaline Rush
Avoid boredom in your marriage by exploring thrilling rendezvous with your spouse. Ever tried bungee jumping or zip lining? Have you ever tried a road trip? Just get away with your spouse without specific plans. It is refreshing and makes you see life in a different way. It helps your mind to recreate, see new places and have fun all together and will help you to connect as a couple.
Don’t take life too seriously, embrace spontaneity. It will kill the boredom and help you see your mate in a different perspective.
Improve your sex life
Sex is sacred and should be the climax of all marriages. Dr. David Clarke and William G. Clarke in their book “I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage,” stress on the importance of a good sex life. Avoid boredom in your sex life as a couple.
Be adventurous and make sure you give your spouse the ‘A’ game. This means that both of you should enjoy and get as much satisfaction as possible. Set a few rules early enough as a couple. You can shower together at night, spice it up with sexy lingerie, and introduce new styles.
Talk about the areas your spouse needs you to improve. Moreover, respectfully pointing him/her to how he should satisfy you in bed.
Watch TV together it will help to eliminate Boredom
Boredom can hit you hard in this era and age. Smartphones have become everyone’s best friend. While having TV sets in every room is class, it can make you strangers living in the same house.You might find yourself watching different TV programs in different rooms within the same house.
To avoid boredom in your marriage set aside some time to watch the TV programs that you both enjoy. Sit close together while watching. It does not have to be limited to TV programs, you can also listen to your favorite music. Take it a notch higher and start your personal music library that you can always visit to recharge.
Go Back to the Basics of Marriage
Do you know your role as wife and husband do? What is their role in the home or society? What was your attitude of marriage when you were in the honeymoon stage? Has it changed? Start by reading the“Second Half of Marriage Leader’s Guide,” by David and Claudia Arp. This book will guide you on how to devote to playing the marriage roles you had initially.
Take care of your kids together. Teach them the values of life together. Do fun activities as a family. Shop together as a family. Go for family gatherings, support other relatives, visit your parents and let your kids know your relatives.
Though this might not be practical all the time. Do it when possible and represent each other when it’s not. Sometimes you can also cook dinner together and help each other around the house.
Have a Bucket List
Another established way to avoid boredom in marriage is having a couple’s bucket list. At the beginning of each year, you can plan for activities, functions and holidays. Then as the year progress stick the plans you have achieved.
This is a good way to encourage you to save money and make finer plans for the set activities.With a bucket list in mind, both of you this will go a long way to making sure that you engage in these activities. It will be fun when you are planning. Remind each other of the set deadlines and do countdowns for this exciting events and holidays.
Sorry to break it you but life is not all about being right, clever and beautiful. Be stupid and silly sometimes. Learn how to bring out the inner kid in you from Andrew G. Marshall in his book “Help Your Partner Say ‘Yes’: Seven Steps to Achieving Better Cooperation and Communication.”
This brings about laughter and creates lots of imagination. Wear some funny looking clothes that will make both of you laugh. You will avoid boredom when you play with your spouse. While you play, remember to stay within the limits. Marriage is beautiful and should be enjoyed hence give it the best shot.
Boredom can hit you hard if you just sit around and do things as you have always done them. To avoid boredom, explore things that you haven’t explored.Aspire to know more than you already do. Think about yourself and not your spouse.
Are you at a happy place with yourself? Are there things that you are not happy about that don’t give a spark in your life? Get to understand yourself and your spouse too. Get to know how to make life more interesting than it already is, discover new talents, hobbies etc.
Discover Shared Hobbies
To avoid boredom as a couple, do a reality check on your marriage. What do you like doing together? Do you have some hobbies that you both like? List them down and do them as a couple.
Read “How to Survive Your Marriage: By Hundreds of Happy Couples Who Did (Hundreds of Heads Survival Guides),” hundreds of Heads, Yadin Kaufmann, and Lori Kaufmann. The book will teach you how to never stop dating as a couple.
You can also take it upon yourself to surprise your spouse with an activity you listed together. For instance, you can get tickets to the Friday night game or to your favorite band. This will be a way of spending fun time together. It will make you fond of each other and will make your partner enjoy your company more.
Take a Break
You can use a break, not from your partner-from your daily schedule. Avoid boredom in your marriage by shifting the way you do things every day. While it’s good to have a schedule, it will be good to incorporate something new from time to time. You need not toss out the schedule entirely. However, you can make a few adjustments in the way you do things around the house.
Robert Stephan Cohen and Elina Furman in their book “Reconcilable Differences: 7 Keys to Remaining Together from a Top Matrimonial Lawyer,” advice couples that they should try a new activity each week. For instance, you can cook something out of the ordinary together.
Choose to spend a weekend in a dancing party instead of cuddling on the couch.Do your shopping at a new mall instead of the usual shopping place. You can also surprise your partner to a dinner in a restaurant as opposed to the usual dinner in the house. If the finances are a bit tight you can opt to set up a garden dinner in your compound. Be creative and play around with the resources at your disposal.
Do you want to know how to make your marriage full of laughter? Read “Marriage Ministry: A Guidebook,” by Prosser and Charles Qualls. Laughter is said to be the best medicine. Come on, don’t be gloomy all the time.
Laugh at yourself, laugh at your spouse, and tease each other. So long as it is within the boundaries, you will have fun. The everyday grind can wear you out. Therefore, inject humor into your marriage. It’s the best way to avoid boredom.
If you become too satisfied with the position of your marriage, you’ll lose it somewhere along the path. Keep tabs on your marriage, don’t let it stay stagnant. Grow as a couple and your marriage will grow to keep up with you.
Contentment will make you comfortable with the state of your marriage. You will handle issues in your marriage with lightness. As a result, dissatisfaction will take root. As an alternative, to avoid boredom, prioritize your spouse, your marriage and yourself.
Do Not Hit the Panic Button
Boredom in marriage does not mean that your marriage is dead. Boredom only makes us human. However, you should not dwell on that emotion for long. Don’t get comfortable. Always try to bounce back to full life or it will become a norm.
If you feel like you have hit rock bottom, remember there is no other place to go but up! Get your gear on and work to avoid boredom in your marriage. How? It’s simple, by applying the above 15 easy ways to avoid boredom in your marriage.
is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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