17 Proven Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

By David Small •  Updated: 05/03/15 •  10 min read

How can I affair-proof my marriage is a question asked by many wives and husbands? The sanctity of marriage is usually broken by affairs which is among the top leading reasons as to why marriages break up.

It is sanity to think you can be able to manipulate someone’s behaviors but nevertheless, you should not create a breeding ground for an affair to happen in your marriage.

Proven Ways To Affair-Proof Your Marriage

It is sanity to think you can be able to manipulate someone’s behaviors but nevertheless, you should not create a breeding ground for an affair to happen in your marriage.

That is why it is imperative to understand what to do today to help affair-proof your marriage. Here are 17 Ways To Affair-Proof Your Marriage

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1. Every living thing must grow, otherwise, it’s dead.

There must be a constant sense of growth. Participate in your marriage, otherwise, your spouse will find someone else to grow with. Be willing to change without losing yourself.

After all, it’s in the human nature to progress.  If one partner feels like the other one is dragging behind, then a vacuum is created so, we all know nature abhors a vacuum.

This then creates room for another woman or man to take your place who will ‘understand’ your spouse more.

2. Be friends.

Friends tend to share their lives. Most of the emotional affairs that lead to sexual affairs begin just by friendship.

Marriage requires work, you must do it, don’t let others do it for you. Talk to your spouse, no matter how tiring your day was.Do not stop being friends just because you’re each other’s spouse.

3. Keep your marriage interesting by living your life.

Marriage is about shared lives and it’s spiced up by the variety of your experiences.Most people go into marriage thinking that if they stalk their spouse, comb through their personal stuff, then it keeps them from cheating.

Nagging someone is not the way to keep someone interested in you. Breathe; you are not the judiciary body of your marriage, but a partner, a lover, a wife, a husband.

You could be having a job or even be a stay-at-home parent, but be sure to socialize; otherwise, you become paranoid if your life just revolves only around one person.

Affair Proof Your Marriage

4. Exercise.

Life at times can be mundane, so keep your energies up by exercising regularly.Do it with your spouse as a way to bond daily. If they are not up to it, still do it, at least it will keep you upbeat, nobody wants a bore or someone who’s always tired.

Exercise will also help you stay physically attractive and hence enhance your self-esteem and self-value.

5. According to Dr.Phil, if you want a good partner, be one.

Don’t put half-baked efforts into your marriage. Give it 100% and it will give you back. Give out what you want.

If you want more attention, also give your spouse more attention. If you want your partner to look good, don’t be lackadaisical about how you look too.

6. Do not use sex as a tool for reward nor punishment.

An article in familylife.com asks one critical question, are you sending your husband out there sexually hungry?

Remember, a hungry man will eat even what may not be appetizing to him. Do not be the reason why he has to have an affair.Talk things out; don’t hold out just because you are angry with him.


7. Own up responsibilities.

According to blogger Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., if you are bored with your sex life, chances are they are bored too.You must be part of shaking it up. We all love to be victims and few people will admit that they drove their better halves to an affair, but it takes two to tangle.

It’s possible, some people will have affairs just because they can even if they are in a happy marriage, but there is a good percentage of those who are driven into the hands of other women or wives into the hands of more appreciating men.

8. A regular sex life is good for your health.

Couples are known to go for weeks even months without having sex.This is tantamount to closing down a shop and crying foul when your partner is shopping elsewhere.Keep the shop open and an affair will be the last thing on his mind.

The major reason given by couples of why they are not having sex is the excuse of being tired.People are generally tired by the end of the day, but as we said earlier, include some form of exercise in your life to keep your energies up.

9. Communicate.

Tell him/her what you need. Human beings don’t have the ability to read minds.If you feel you are not being listened, let them know. Talk about your dreams, your expectations.

Communication is essential if a marriage is to remain affair-proof. Remember, marriage should be based on a solid foundation of friendship.


10. Honesty.

Tammy Nelson in her blog on how to affair-proof your marriage advocates for it. she says you should be honest with your partner of your attraction to other people. Tell your spouse before something happens, not after.

The key to preventing an affair is to communicate about it before it happens!

11. Do not have a long-distance marriage.

Some people tend to be married more to their jobs than to their spouses, so they will leave if the boss relocates them, but at times it may take turning down a lucrative job to save your marriage. It just depends on what is important to you.

Letting your spouse live elsewhere for long periods without you is tantamount to signing your divorce later. Move if you have to, but a family should live together.

12. Forgive is essential to Affair-proof your Marriage.

A marriage can survive infidelity. But you have to be willing to forgive.Constantly nagging and reminding your spouse can make matters even worse.

For forgiveness to happen in full and the guilty party to understand the effect it had on their spouse, counseling is required.After counseling, the couple must move on. The past should not be used to constantly take someone on a guilt trip.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage

13.Know Your Boundaries If you want to Affair-proof your marriage.

Make some of your relationships with the opposite sex.Don’t put your personal life out there. Ladies are given to bragging to their friends especially if they are enjoying their sex lives.

You cannot advertise something and not expect customers. If you brag to your friends about your man, one of them if not more is bound to try and seduce him.

Men must understand women are nurturing in nature. If you open up about your problems at home, they will assume a certain position in your life that will see you cheating on your wife.

14. Affair-proof your Marriage shutting the door to past flings.

Marriage is different and more serious than dating. You should not bring your past relationships in your family.

Old flames might be ignited and do you more harm. Let your past girlfriends or boyfriends understand that you cannot hang out as you used to. Your better half should not have to deal with it.It is incumbent upon you to make sure your past is not hanging around your present.

15. Dressing up helps to Affair-proof your Marriage.

Don’t wait for your husband or wife cheats on you before you start sprucing up. Psychologically speaking, men tend to be more visual, but we are all visual beings. Look good, don’t let yourself go just because you gave birth.

You may have added weight, but they sell beautiful plus sized dresses all over the world. You don’t have to be in rags because you’re no longer the petite you.

For the husband, be the partner you are meant to be. If your wife adds weight after giving birth to your kids, help her workout.Start jogging together, don’t put her down and don’t talk behind her back. It is your duty to help her stay in shape and remain the sexy woman you married.


16. Familiarity has a way of breeding contempt, especially in marriages.

Don’t disregard your spouse because you think you married a fool. People thrive on positivity; yes even a fool can abandon their foolish ways in a good environment.

Help your spouse to be driven, don’t turn to those you think are better than your spouse and have affairs, it’s just lazy.Avoid washing your dirty linen in public as it might just push your better half to better arms where they would feel appreciated.

17. Mutually affair-proof your marriage.

Two cannot walk together unless they agree. A couple must agree and work together to strengthen their marriage.

According to a website www.twoofus.org, you should be aware of infidelity ‘danger zones’ like the internet and the workplace.

The internet is full of pornography and many social sites that make cheating easier.Openness is social sites is mandatory in marriage to remove every form of temptation.

Don’t relate to women that your wife is not aware of or men that your husband does not know about.  Hanging out should be done as couples with these friends.

Most of us spend a lot of time in the workplace and therefore relationships are formed.

Relationships springing from the workplace should be made open to the other spouse and any meeting outside the workplace should involve the other spouse or a trusted friend who can ensure that boundaries are kept.

Ruth Bell Graham aptly puts it in her well-known adage ‘love is the union of two good forgivers.’ So it means, mistakes will be done, but to err is human.

As you would want to be forgiven, also learn to forgive. No one is above having affairs; anyone can be tempted and fall.Marriage also requires work, but it’s better than the scars that are left on children and individual spouses after a divorce.

Marriage is also for the mature who can resolve issues without packing their bags every time there is an issue, maturity must, therefore, be developed.

So pull up your socks and put an effort in your relationship, no one will do it for you. If they do it for you, they can take it away from you.

Images courtesy of stock images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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