17 Ways to Get Your Boyfriend Back After a Breakup

By David Small •  Updated: 02/08/19 •  13 min read

While you may wish your relationship lasts forever, breakups are a reality that could affect anyone. So bad if you have disagreed with your boyfriend and you can no longer continue with the relationship.

17 Ways to Get Your Boyfriend Back After a Breakup

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After a breakup, the first few days are the hardest. Many are the men who end up wishing they could get back with their girlfriends. The trick is to find a way of rebuilding the relationship without looking too desperate.

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Also, it may seem impossible to win him back, especially if you were the one who broke his heart. In Getting Your Ex Back, Janae J. Paxton says there is a lot you can do to get your man back after a breakup. But you have to put in a lot of work just to convince him that he should get back with you.

Here are 17 ways to get your boyfriend back after a breakup:

1. Avoid Stalking Him

You can never get your boyfriend back after a breakup if you turn out to be an annoying stalker. Constantly clouding him with your presence will only push your boyfriend away. So why don’t you give him the time and space to start missing you? For at least one month, avoid calling your boyfriend.

This is what Nishant Pandey says in Win Your Ex Back. During that period, even something as simple as a text message is a no-no. Also, remember to cut off all the connections you might be having with him on social media. Obviously, you have friends in common. Disconnect from them to avoid bumping into him ‘by accident’.

2. Sit Back and Reflect On the Breakup

Without a proper understanding of why the breakup happened, you are likely to start blaming yourself for it. You could also start blaming your ex for everything that happened. But that shouldn’t be the case since it takes two to tango. The best way to know what went wrong is to take time and reflect on the relationship.

According to The Ex Recovery: The Quickest Way to Get Your Ex Back Guaranteed! by Zac Miller, you ought to sit back and analyze the situation. Probe your mind on if you really still love him. If you notice any differences between the two of you, are you willing to compromise? If you made any mistakes, correct them. Then make up your mind if you want to get your Man back despite the breakup.

Boyfriend Back After a Breakup

3. Better Yourself

Betting your boyfriend back after a breakup may not work if you are going to repeat the mistakes that caused it. As Phil Fontana says in How to get your Ex-Boyfriend Back: The Absolute Best Ways to Make Him Desperately Want You Again, that applies to both of you. If there is an area of your life that needs improvement, go ahead and fix it. But, first, you have to reflect on the things that your man doesn’t like about you.

When you get to meet in the future, he might be tempted to get you back. Will you be the same person or you will have evolved to the best version of yourself? Bettering yourself involves taking time to find healing. Make sure all emotional issues have been resolved before you try to get your boyfriend back.

4. Spend Time with Family and Friends

This is one of the ways to get your boyfriend back after a breakup. Make it a point of spending a considerable amount of time with family and friends. If there are things involving your family which you have been putting off, create time for them. Immerse yourself in events involving friends and family to get healing.

According to How to Get Your Ex Back by Matt Trevor, there is no other way to forget about your ex. As you meet your friends, avoid those you mutually share with your ex. That is especially when you are still trying to avoid all forms of contact with him and trying to heal.

5. Take up New Hobbies

To avoid thinking too much about your ex, you should consider taking up some new hobbies. If there are activities you had put on hold such as reading, writing or traveling, revive them. Try new adventurous activities such as biking, hiking, canoeing, kayaking, skydiving, and so on.

The more exciting the new hobbies, the harder it will be for you to realize how fast time flies. D. Joshua in his book, ‘Get Your Ex Back’ highly concurs with the same. According to him, you will be able to forget about your ex, if only for a moment. When the time comes to get back together, you will be rejuvenated and ready to take the relationship further.

6. Avoid Going on the Rebound

Do not be surprised if some of your friends and family members advise you to enter into a new relationship immediately. While this advice may work for others, it isn’t right for someone trying to get a boyfriend back after a breakup. Imagine what would happen if he was to learn about your new relationship. Will ever be able to trust you?

In How to Get Your Ex Back Fast! Toy with the Male Psyche and Get Him Back with Skills only a Dating Coach Knows, Gregg Michaelsen emphasizes the importance of trust. If he had some hopes of building a relationship with you, he will be very disappointed. So keep off other men. As soon as your ex starts to miss you, it will be easier for you to get back together.

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7. Reach Out To Him in Creative Ways

It is possible to get your boyfriend back after a breakup if you reach out to him more creatively. Whether you are sending him a message, email or letter, be creative about it. It is not just about what you say but rather how you say it. When your ex realizes how serious you are about rebuilding the relationship, he will definitely begin warming up to you.

According to How To Get Your Ex Back – A Simple Relationship Advicer  by Christian Neumaier, give it some thought before sending out a gift to him. A man needs to know you respect him. If you are respectful in the way you reach out to him, you will eventually win him over.

8. Change Your Looks It Will Help You To Get Your Boyfriend Back

It is quite easy going into depression soon after a breakup. You however do not have to stay there. Get up, dust off the disappointment, and work on your looks. That will not just make you look better, but it will help to improve your self-esteem and help you look forward to better things. As far as getting a boyfriend back after a breakup is concerned, this strategy works wonders.

As Stacy Shakespeare says in ‘Get Your Ex Back: The Ultimate Guide on How to Get Your Ex Back Fast and Keep Your Lover Forever’, men are visual beings. Thus, any positive change in your looks and confidence is likely to attract your ex. Imagine meeting him after a total makeover. What will prevent him from falling in love with you all over again?


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9. Respect His Opinions

To reiterate, men like it when they feel respected by their women. One of the ways to show this is to respect his opinions. It doesn’t matter if the breakup was his fault. Now that you find yourselves in this precarious situation, it is important to listen to each other. After all, the man may have a lot to say about you and how you caused the breakup.

Jose T. Jones says as much in The Fastest Way to Get Your Ex Back after a Bad Breakup without Begging and Keep Him Forever. To get your boyfriend back after a breakup, listen to him and make changes in the areas where you need to. That will show him how committed you are to rebuilding the relationship.

10. Stay in Contact

Of course, you have no reason to keep messaging or phoning your ex. But that doesn’t mean that you completely cut off all forms of communication with him. Once in a while, find out how he is doing. What you should avoid is to sound like you desperately want him back.

As Veronica Isles says in How to Get Your Ex Back in 25 Days, that can only turn him off. You may send him a message once a day but without expecting him to reply. Anything that shows you still care but aren’t expecting much is enough. Not only will you heighten his sense of curiosity, but you will make him start to miss you.

11. Don’t Talk Negatively About Him

It is natural for you to think of vending your anger with your ex by slandering him. That’s a no-no. Imagine a situation where you are talking to mutual friends about your ex in a bad light. These friends could end up telling him what you said. How will you be able to defend yourself? If anything, any hopes that your ex would have had of reviving the relationship would totally be diminished.

In The Ex Recovery Blueprint: The Quickest Way to Get Your Ex Back Guaranteed! , Zac Miller advises that you learn to tame your tongue. It doesn’t matter how much he angered you. To have any chances of getting your boyfriend back after a breakup, you must approach him with a clean slate.

12. Give Him a Second Chance

You could not possibly be in the situation you find yourselves without the contributions of both of you. It is possible he cheated on you. What would you expect if you were in his shoes? No matter how hard it is, forgive and give him a second chance. In Get Your Ex Back, Jason Morris advises that you should give him a second chance, especially if you still love him.

After all, you cannot forfeit your happiness just because you aren’t ready to forgive. Who said you are a saint anyway? You may not have done anything bad, but you need forgiveness too. Even if you don’t get your boyfriend back after a breakup, forgiveness will free you to move on.


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13. Don’t Desperately Try To Get Him Back

Which man in his right mind will be attracted to a woman who is desperately trying to catch his attention? As Elizabeth Daniels says in Manifesting Love, the answer is ‘none’. The reason why he fell in love with you is that you looked and sounded confident.

Being desperate only makes you look hopelessly miserable and no man can be attracted to that. There is no way you can get your boyfriend back after a breakup by coming out as desperate. So don’t argue, plead, beg or try to convince him to take you back. That will only push him further away.

14. Play Hard to Get

This is the best advice you can ever get! Nothing thrills a man like a good chase after a woman. So, avoid making it too easy for him to get back with you. This strategy involves combining some of the advice we have already stated such as avoiding to contact him too soon. In the No Contact Rule, Richard Moore advises that you get busy with your life.

Attend college and get that certificate you have been yearning for. When he calls, don’t be hasty in picking his calls. Reply to his SMSs after a while. Agree to his suggestion for a date, but change the day. That way, you will create a sense of curiosity in him to want to be with you.

15. Go on a Date with Him

Don’t wait too long before you accept to go on a date with him. To get your boyfriend back after a breakup, it is important that you even initiate the date yourself. In Get Your Ex Back in 30 Days or Less, Eric Monroe says it doesn’t have to be anything too fancy. Arrange for a picnic or take your ex for a night out.

While there, don’t appear like you are pressuring him too much. Talk about general things that only involve finding out how he has been doing. The purpose is to maintain friendship between the two of you. Once you rebuild the bond of friendship, you will be able to win him back.

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16. Remind Him of What You Had

Over the course of the relationship, it is possible that you build great memories together. The dates you had, the places you visited, the happy moments you enjoyed. According to Get Your Ex Back by Clay Andrews, all that is important.

Once in a while send him a picture of the two of you having a good time. Only be careful not to appear like you are pressuring him. It is these memories that are likely to help you win your boyfriend back after a breakup. Who knows? You may end up reliving these memories all over again.

17. Rebuild the Relationship

This cannot happen before you reach an understanding with your ex. By now, you should already have gone out on several dates. You shouldn’t just be on talking terms but you should already be thinking seriously of getting back together. How you will know this is if the frequency with which he calls you has increased. Once that starts happening, avoid playing hard to get.

Clay Andrews says as much in The 5 Phases to Get Your Ex Back. While you may not agree to every suggestion, show him you care. Make amends where you went wrong and get ready for a thrilling relationship.


There is nothing as thrilling as being able to revive a once vibrant relationship. The trick lies in playing your cards right so that your ex remains interested in you while being curious. Whatever you do, don’t be in a rush. It takes time to rebuild trust, once broken. So be patient.

As you sit and iron out your differences, you are likely to reach a working arrangement. Once the two of you decide to get back together, correct previous mistakes and build a stronger relationship.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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