The best way to date is by having information on the person you want to date. Unfortunately, you cannot get this type of information beforehand. You will need to have a checklist of things that will ensure you are not getting into a relationship that will not last. If you are a woman, there are things about your man that you should consider when dating.
This will help you know if they are a fit for you or not. There are 16 things you should know about your partner before you say you are dating. They are as follows:
1. Personality Lasts While Looks Fade
Whether you have a pretty or handsome face, that beauty will soon be gone over the years. As time passes by, your looks will diminish as your skin wrinkles with age.
2. A Great Personality can Handle Love Conflicts
3. Looks Can Be Deceiving
4. First Impressions Lasts
If you are meeting your date for the first time, you may be blown away by the way that he or she presents themselves. However if this person proceeds to show an unpleasant attitude, then it may be time to raise the white flag of surrender and end your time together.
You will remember a certain person not because of his or her looks, but because of his or her personality. That is why if you are dating, make sure that you show the real you. Don’t pretend that you are somebody you are not.
5. Interest in commitment
Is the person really serious about dating? Are they there for the long-term or is the relationship just a way of passing time before the meet their ‘soul mate.’ There are people who will not stay single because they do not want to be lonely. At the same time, such people may be terrified of making a commitment.
If you are dating a person, ensure they are not afraid to make a commitment. They should also be genuinely interested in the relationship. Take your time to get to know them and be close to them. Watch their behavior, and if you do not like what you see or you are not an important part of their life, chances are that the relationship will not last.
Even though arrogance is subjective, it is a trait that is quite easy to recognize. There is a very thin line between being cocky and arrogant about the things you do and being overly confident. It will be good for you when your date seems extremely confident in a cute way.
However, if their behavior is arrogant and rude, you will need to look for an alternative. When you have a conversation and such traits appear, they are not the person for you. This is further elaborated by LDS Couples Should Ask Before Marriage by Shannon L. Alder.
A person should respect you for who you are instead of what you are. They should not treat you like a trophy or the person to go to when they are lonely. An individual who respects you should strive to impress you most of the time.
For instance, they will dress up and look good for you all the time. This means that they are working hard to avoid disappointing you. They will also strive to make a good impression on your family and friends. On the other hand, if they do not respect you, they will just behave as if you do not matter.
8. Social life
The social life of the person you are dating is one of the subtle things to look for in a partner. Does your partner have many friends? Is he a person that people do not like to hang around?
A person who is extremely lonely may not be good for you because they are rude, boring or plainly antisocial. They may also be occupied with something in their life such that they may not have time for any other person, including you.
9. Pursues you
How eager is the person willing to date you? Do they try to pursue you and woo you or are they just taking it easy? If a person truly loves or likes you, they should endeavor to make you happy or even smile. They should try and awe and woo you all the time by their behavior and gestures towards you.
It will not matter if you asked them before they asked you. If the person really likes you, they should have instincts that will try and impress you. If the person you are dating does not try to impress and awe you, chances are that they are not impressed by you.
This may be shocking, but there are a lot of people who live double lives. They may be dating someone else or may even be in a relationship or married. Their partner may be in another area code or locality. Make sure the person you date is not in a secret relationship.
Do they avoid taking you to popular or crowded restaurants? Do they appear nervous and keep looking around during a date? Do they avoid meeting in public areas? If the person has nothing to hide, they will have no qualms about going out with you whether in public or private places. If you bump into a friend of theirs and they do not introduce you as their date, it should be a warning bell. More information can be found in the best-selling book, Date…or Soul Mate? How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less by Neil Clark Warren.
11. Emotional maturity
It is always cute to watch a person, especially a guy, behave like a little boy or primate. But when you are n the process of assessing the person as a dating potential, make sure you search for emotional maturity.
Does the individual get egoistic or angry over silly things? Do they approach big decisions in life? If the person appears to be immature, mostly when they are making decisions, they are not the right person for you.
12. Focus on life
Obviously, you cannot date a millionaire on the first try. However, if the individual you are dating does not have any focus in life, you should avoid them. They may not be the ‘Donald Trump’ of this world, but as long they have focus and they implement it, they are good for you. Avoid anyone who has the mentality ‘I-know-I-will-be-rich-soon.
When a person does not have a focus in life, it is a sign that they are a chaotic mess. They may seem to have everything together when you meet them, but they will have a problem as long as they do not have clear set goals, and working to achieve the same. Such people will always end up frustrating you in the long run.
An individual’s confidence will play a big part in any relationship. They will feel more secure in the relationship and they will be less clingy or needy. This would, in turn, ensure that they are not a needy partner.
Additionally, someone who is confident will always ensure their partner feels protected in the relationship. When confidence is not part of a relationship, you end up with a scared girlfriend and controlling boyfriend. This is a very bad sign for the relationship and it means disaster is about to strike.
14. A romantic
In the earlier stages of dating, a person not being romantic may not matter. However, in the near future, it will be a cause for concern. This may be further worsened when your close friend starts dating a romantic person.
Does the person serenade and woo you or do they believe romantic gestures are fluff that is only seen on TV? If so, find a person who is comfortable with romance and can show their romantic side.
15. Listen to your opinions
When an individual listens to your opinions and follows them at times, it shows they really believe in what you have to say and respect you. If they consider you an equal, they will not have a problem listening to what you have to say and considering your thoughts before they make a decision.
On the other hand, if they think your thoughts and/or opinions do not matter, they may pretend to listen to what you have to say at the beginning of dating. However, as time goes by you will notice that they will make it obvious they have not interested in your opinion. If this is the case, you should end the dating process as this is a sign of a relationship that will fail.
When you start dating, does your partner display acts of selflessness every now and then? Do they give you the better seat and ensure you are comfortable before they make themselves comfortable? Unconditional love and selflessness come naturally to people who are considerate of others.
If you have to teach them how to be considerate, they are probably not worth your time because they would not see selflessness as a romantic trait. In fact, an inconsiderate person may deem it as a way of manipulating them emotionally so that you may make or see yourself happy.
Three other things to consider When Dating
Apart from the above-mentioned points, there are others that you should consider when you are dating a person. They are:
- Compromise: You should be able to meet each other halfway on your needs
- Financial agreements: You should be able to have clear and defined rules on how you are going to spend during dinner or any other time you have gone out together
- Space: Your date should not pressure you to spend all their time with you and do everything together
There is a saying, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. In the dating world, this means that although someone may not tick all your boxes for what they look like in physical appearance, give them a chance to wow you with their personality.
If you allow yourself the chance to look past the pretty façade, you may actually be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.
A successful relationship should be built on a great connection between two people. If you want to find that ideal partner, make sure that you consider first his or her personality before his or her looks. If you do, your love life may turn out to be far more fun and successful.
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Images courtesy of marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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