These awesome dating tips for older singles were discovered after much research.
When they reach a certain age, individuals tend to resign themselves to fate, withdrawing completely from the social scene. But that doesn’t have to be the case, especially given the option of embracing mature dating.
Photo by Esther Town on Unsplash
Therefore, you can arrange to meet and date other senior citizens, helping each other overcome loneliness in old age. Why should a sixty-something years old start to date all over again?
Well, it is because they need companionship as much as their younger counterparts. The problem is that many older people don’t know how to date.
Here are the top 21 dating tips for older singles looking for partners:
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Table of Contents
Avoid Putting Too Much Pressure on Yourself
As a senior citizen, you have done all the things necessary to make your life a success.
Even though you still have the energy to keep going, you are now free from many of life’s pressures. Your kids are grown, you’re retired from work, and have a lot of free time on your hands.
Therefore, you have all the time you require to join the mature dating scene and succeed at it. When you find a mate, you will have more time to spend with them than you did before retirement.
So don’t apply too much pressure on yourself. Instead, relish in having consigned the pressures of work and career to the backseat.
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Don’t Worry About Age
One of the best dating tips for older couples is to avoid worrying about age – yours or that of your potential partner. You could be 70 and yet still feel like you are in your 40s.
Regardless of your age, you have the chance to enjoy life and companionship with a loved one.
As Pepper Schwartz says in the book: Dating After 50 For Dummies, you should have an active lifestyle. For example, you could engage in activities like tennis, golf, or workouts at the gym. With that, you will be healthier, happier, and able to engage in fruitful loving relationships.
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Master the skills to Build A Stronger Relationship
Embrace Technology
Given the exponential growth in technology, there is little you can do – including dating – that doesn’t involve it. As such, there exist many opportunities for meeting potential lovers using technology.
For instance, your mature dating journey might begin on a humble website. After meeting him or her online, you may have to communicate via email, mobile phone, or social media. Only then would the two of you be able to meet face-to-face.
So, if you have a phobia of technology, time is now you learned to embrace it. Where necessary, have a younger relative teach you how to successfully navigate through cyberspace.
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Cast your net wider
Mature dating is as mucky as what happened in your younger years. You never can tell where love will come from. That’s why you should cast a wider net to increase your chances of making the right catch.
If you choose online dating, then you should select a criterion that includes state-wide, nation-wide, and international pools. Also, you do not have to restrict yourself to your age mates. Even younger or older individuals can make great partners.
As Daphna Levy says in the book: Picking Right restricting yourself too much may limit your choices.
Also Related: 21 Reasons Why Older Men are Dating Younger Women.
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Don’t Divulge Personal Financial Details
You have just met a potential partner online or physically. For some reason, he or she is pressing you for your financial details. They want to know your bank account and the amount in it.
Even if you think you trust them, never divulge your financial details to a person you don’t know well. The relationship is likely to end up in tears when you get scammed.
An individual who starts asking for your financial information upfront could be a gold digger or an outright conman. It gets worse if the person is asking for this information online. If you aren’t careful, your bank accounts could be wiped out long before you meet.
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Watch for Some Red Flags
Before entering a relationship, you should watch out for telltale signs that you could be entertaining an abusive person.
Is the individual displaying intense anger? Does he or she seem to be frustrated for some reason? Is he or she attempting to control or pressure you into the relationship? Are they passive-aggressive or making disrespectful or demeaning comments?
Do they look like they can be physically abusive? In the book: 18 Warning Signs of an Abuser, Yesha Rose says the red flags show the person isn’t a suitable partner. Therefore, you should run before you immerse yourself deeply into the wrong relationship.
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Meet on a Coffee Date the First Time
Have you reached the point where you want to meet for the first time?
If so, a simple coffee date would do. That’s because you won’t be meeting for more than an hour or two.
Another thing, coffee houses attract large crowds and are well lit. For that reason, they are the perfect venues for meeting total strangers whose knowledge is their avatar on a dating site.
As Wendy Newman says in the book: 121 First Dates, never ask a stranger a total stranger to your house for the first meeting. You could be inviting a potential criminal right into your home.
So, learn to exercise extreme caution in everything you do.
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Great Conversation Starters
Having a conversation with a total stranger is a skill you can learn.
For example, you can start the conversation by asking them about their interests or hobbies.
Since people invest a lot of time and energy into their hobbies, the answer will likely prolong the conversation. Or you could talk about your children if you have any.
Alternatively, you could ask them about their favorite food, restaurant, or recipe.
Talking about the weather is also a good conversation starter, given that everyone has an opinion about it. If you find another mutually interesting topic, then don’t hesitate to talk about it.
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You Can Make Dating a Lifestyle, Why Not!
In the many decades of your life, you have seen the best and the worst.
Most likely, you were married at some point and you may not want to marry again.
It’s okay to remain on the dating scene without wanting to go through another wedding.
So make your potential partner aware of your intentions upfront. In that case, the individual will know they shouldn’t be expecting anything long-term.
Who knows? They could also be in this for the fan and nothing more. If you fail to talk about it, the other person could enter the relationship with the wrong expectations.
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Maintain Good Hygiene
How would you feel when you met a person with an unwanted stench on a date? Would you even want to meet them again?
Now, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about how they would react to your stench. Even if they liked you for other reasons, they would never accept another date because of your poor hygiene. So what should you do?
In his book: A Gentleman’s Handbook, Aaron Shepard says you should always take a shower before showing up for a date. If not for any other reason, you could earn yourself a night of love just for appearing fresh.
Photo by BBH Singapore on Unsplash
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Smile a Lot
How often do you smile? If you rarely smile, then you should do it more often when you start dating your new spouse.
Existing research shows that Smiling makes one look more attractive since it lights up the look, making you look younger.
For some reason, individuals are drawn to people whose faces look healthier and younger. Besides, smiling boosts your moods and confidence since your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins.
Still, smiling is infectious, and starting it could turn the whole conversation into a laughter-filled meeting. Even a forced smile could still light up the room, drawing the two of you closer.
Also Related: 15 Ways to Get Your Husband to be Romantic.
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Avoid Meeting in Inappropriate Places
Earlier on, we advised you to meet your potential partner on a simple coffee date. That’s okay since it is a public, well-lit, and secure place. Besides, coffee is a stimulant and could get you off in the right mood.
However, you should avoid meeting in a funeral, a dark alley, a crowded elevator, or in the XXX section of a video store. Despite your good intentions, the meeting venue is likely to send the wrong message.
For example, the somber mood at a funeral won’t get you off to a good start. Similarly, meeting in a dark alley can expose you to a likely mugging incident, making you lose money or life.
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Mention a Second Date If All is Going Fine
Therefore, you have met on the first date and everything is going fine! There is no harm in asking the other person for a second date even before the first one ends.
Perhaps during your conversation, you discovered an effortless connection with the other person.
You share interests and it would be great if you met again. Besides, the other person could have shown positive nonverbal cues or positive differences from your previous partners.
Writing for cosmopolitan.com, Carina Hsieh and Emily C Johnson say a second date shows the other person’s love potential.
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Forget the Past! Embrace the Present!
How well or badly was your experience in loving relationships? As you start a new relationship, you need to forget all about the past. That means completely cutting off ties with your ex.
Relationship experts even advise that you should resolve your feelings about an ex before attempting to enter into a new union.
If you do not deliberately forget about your ex, you may end up comparing the two. That may not be good for your current partner since that will make him look lesser than your ex. So stop and focus on your current relationship.
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Watch that You Do Not Get Infected With HIV
Just because you are older does not mean you are immune from HIV. That means you should take all possible precautions to protect yourself from possible infection.
According to U.S. Government statistics, 1.2 million people living with HIV. The same data shows an increasing rate of infection among individuals who are 50 years or older.
If you are dating a younger person, you should be more careful since individuals below 44 years are most at risk. You could get infected, exposing yourself to deadly opportunistic diseases.
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Remain Respectful While at It
For some reason, you may not like your date the first time you meet. Don’t be too hard or treat them badly.
Regardless of their looks, behavior, or demeanor, Lindsay Dodgson, writing for businessinsider.com, says they deserve respect.
While it is important to let them know you aren’t interested in a romantic relationship, keep the door open. Who knows!
The person you find so repulsive could turn out to be a good friend or business partner. You could also end up setting each other up with your single friends.
Just because there is no chance for romance doesn’t mean the individual is completely useless.
Also Related: The Top 15 Best Dating Sites for Women.
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Avoid Intimacy If You Aren’t Compatible
Say, you have discovered that your new partner is not quite, what you expected. Like we suggested in the last point, you should treat them with respect, rule out romance, but suggest friendship.
The worst thing you can do is become intimate severally, knowing that you aren’t compatible. Even if your intention was a casual relationship, you might end up attached.
Breaking a bond cemented by making love isn’t as easy as you might expect. So be careful! Avoid getting too close to each other and you would have no regrets.
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Mirror Your Potential Partner’s Speech
You have arrived at the venue of the date and your partner is sitting across the table.
In the first few minutes of your conversation, you have realized this is the person you want. How do you let them know you are interested?
Dating experts suggest you slow down or speed up your speech to match the other person’s. If he or she is talking slowly, also slow down your speech.
Similarly, if a fast talker, speed up your speech to match theirs. Apart from showing you have something in common, matching each other’s speech shows the level of your interest.
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It is Easier to Date a senior to a Teenager
In dating, age is not just a number. It can make a huge difference between success and failure in the relationship.
Seth Meyers, Ph.D. says as much in her book: Overcome Relationship Repetition and Find the Love You Deserve.
According to her, an age gap of 10 years or more comes with issues that could endanger the relationship long before it begins.
In some cases, you might discover that you are living in two different cultures, making you incompatible.
Therefore, one of the most important dating tips for older singles is to choose seniors over teenagers.
Choosing someone at the same level of experience makes it easier for you to relate with each other.
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Make Your Expectations Known Upfront
What is the reason for going into the dating scene?
Are looking for a marriage partner or is your intention only to have fun? People start dating for different reasons and you could have yours.
It would help if you make your intentions known before the relationship kicks off. According to Cheryl Anne Meyer in the book: The Red Flag Rule Book, your expectations may work for you or against you.
So making them known upfront can help you start a great relationship or avoid a bad one. The other individual will also know whether or not you are the right partner for them.
If you can’t start a romantic relationship, you can become friends or start a business partnership.
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Remember – Sexual Attraction Is Different from Emotional Bonding
Having a sexual attraction for each other can make the difference between success and failure in building a strong bond.
However, sex is not everything. Apart from having sexual chemistry, you also need to connect at the emotional level.
So, both of these elements should be present to help you decide to enter a new relationship.
Writing for marriage.com, Rachael Pace says having an emotional connection improves the sexual connection, builds respect, and enables amazing conversations.
It also helps the two of you to develop excellent communication skills, build trust and security, boost your moods, and just have fun.
Conclusion
With the above dating tips for older singles, you should be able to find and relate with the right partner. Just because you are older doesn’t mean avoiding technology.
There are several dating sites where you could find the right partner. While at it, avoid revealing too much too early and watch the red flags. Where you meet for a date and what you talk about also matters.
To avoid ending up with the wrong partner, you should make your expectations known upfront. You don’t want to disappoint your potential partner once they are deeply immersed in the relationship.
