21 Reasons Why Older Men Are Dating Younger Women

By David Small •  Updated: 09/21/16 •  17 min read

Why do young women get involved with older men? When a young woman is romantically involved with an older man, one might assume he’s her “sugar daddy,” or that one or both are getting something out of the relationship other than love.

We make those assumptions because we attach age with power or money, but that’s not frequently the reason for a May-December relationship.

older men

The traits that women are looking for in “husband material” are most commonly found in men aged eighteen and older, and as women age, they are still consistently looking for someone older, because it is assumed that older men are more civilized, more mature and more capable of providing them.

According to Dr. Paul Hokemeyr, a professional marriage, and family therapist, ” Older men prefer to date younger women for many reasons.  Younger girls put out a vibe which is extremely appealing. And if you meet the right one, she can bring energy, excitement, and youthfulness like you can’t believe! Things have sure changed now, compared to what it was in the past.

Now it’s no longer a taboo for an older man to date younger women. It’s no longer considered, snatching the cradle. Men dating younger women today is considered just another thing, and many people don’t make a big deal of it.

The 21 reasons why older men are dating younger women are listed below

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  1. To Boost their Ego

Older men truly want to keep company with the younger women to allow them to boost their own egos. Most men suffer from a huge ego. Lots of men desire a more youthful girlfriend because this lovely lady could possibly make him appear to be pretty important in the eyes of modern society.

As they age, many men start to lose their self-confidence, they look in the mirror and start to see gray hair and wrinkles, and this makes them wonder if they are still the man that they used to be. One way to answer this question, in their minds, is to see if they can still attract a beautiful woman that is much younger. If they accomplish this goal, it can be a massive boost to their ego.

Men who seem to choose younger women, for this reason, are often insecure, and can in no way recognize the real significance connected with contentment. These types of men experience significant emotional hang-ups, and so they just think it doesn’t matter what age they will reach, they are able to have just about any female they may want.

  1. They Believe Younger Women Are More Fertile

Older men who seem to go out with younger women most times are planning to start up a family with them. Young women tend to be more fertile as compared with a little older or middle-aged women, and so they would be able to produce the middle-aged husband’s offspring. Quite a few males are actually choosing to be married at an older, more mature age these days, plus they are likely to choose a younger woman to have children with illegally, whenever they would wish to have children that belong to them or if their older wife has refused to give birth.

You will also find several wealthy, well-established adult men who wish to begin a family with a young woman with the intention that when she gives birth to a strong heir,  he will the majority of his wealth to him before he passes on. Most of these older men also provide interviews and consequently pick the future spouse.

older men

  1. Older Men Want to Regain the Feelings they had in their Youth

Older men see dating a younger woman as a means of regaining the feelings they had in their youth. Younger women have not been hardened by life; they still laugh more, smile more, and see the fun in everything. They just do not have the worries and concerns of an older woman, and men want to be around this youthful, fun-loving attitude.

As men grow older, they tend to become less adventurous. This makes them look much older than what they actually are. Being with a woman who is much younger can help a man get back his lost zest and gain enough energy to live life to the fullest; the vitality of younger women seems to work wonders for these men.

  1. Younger Women Make Them Feel Prosperous

The fourth reason why older men like younger women are that they think that having a young woman accompany them makes them look more prosperous. They feel that dating a young woman can make their peers envious. Dating a younger woman is a status symbol for many older men, and generally, older men that are pursuing younger women for this purpose will pursue more than one young woman.

It’s worth being prepared for the backlash from your friends or theirs about the age difference. Some may call you a cougar or creepy behind your back (or even to your face). Whilst this isn’t exactly much fun, it does challenge you both to express directly precisely what you like about the other and why it’s valuable to you, which makes for a more solid and respectful relationship.

  1. For Sex

Older men feel their sex life will be more adventurous with younger women. A younger woman might teach you a few new tricks in the bedroom. A man’s sex drive tends to decrease around the age that a woman’s peak. With a younger woman, you can enjoy her resilience, stronger libido and maybe find a better bedroom match.

Also, If someone’s significantly younger than you, the chances are they’re less experienced than you, too – in bed and out of it. They’re more likely to be still discovering their sexuality, keen to experiment and try new things. Sometimes it’s fun to be the experienced one – especially when it’s fulfilling for both parties. Which is another good point: beware of internalized ageism. If your younger partner is dating you, that means they find you sexy, wrinkles and all!

Younger Woman

  1. Fun

Younger women are often more energetic than their older counterparts, and very much still at the stage of life where they’re experimenting with everything to see what works. Dating someone younger often means nights out, creative hobbies, fun activities, and a partner in crime for anything you’ve always felt you wanted to try. If you’re a homebody, dating somebody younger can encourage you to get out and do things you’d never have tried on your own.

Older men who enjoy sports and other active recreational activities may have difficulty finding same-aged partners who share their interests. In such situations, a younger woman may be more capable of sharing in these active hobbies. Indeed, the University of California at Santa Barbara found that older men who date younger women tend to live longer and maintain healthier lifestyles than their counterparts who date older women.

  1. Curiosity about the world

Another fruitful outcome of different life stages is often the exchange of ideas. Younger women are often curious about the world, willing to explore with you and genuinely interested in your thinking and how you arrived at it. Talking it through often gives you fresh insight and a whole new lease of life as well – younger eyes help you see things from a fresh and different perspective.

Dating anybody more than a decade younger than you – or sometimes even less than that means that they’ll probably be much more plugged into the current cultural scene than you and also have a totally different frame of cultural reference. This is basically a fun,  you can share things with one another and spread the love to your friendship groups as well. Just be careful that neither of you makes the other feel excluded if you’re hanging with your contemporaries!

  1. More Economical

Younger women often haven’t progressed as far in their careers as older partners, or are still studying. That often means less money – but also more practice and expertise at having fun on a budget. Anyone who’s not taking advantage will make it obvious by inviting you out to cheap/free things, or cooking for you, even if it’s just pasta or grilled cheese sandwiches. Once again, this doesn’t just mean practical new fun things to do with your partner you might not be thought of, it also means re-introducing you to ways of living and thinking you haven’t inhabited for a while.

Dating younger women often help men to see the world from a different perspective. Older men often start believing that they have seen enough. When these men start dating women much younger than them, they tend to develop an absolutely fresh outlook. They might even start doing things that they haven’t done before.


  1. Mutual learning 

It’s easy to learn things from younger partners as well as older ones. On one level, you can find out cool new things about developments in politics and the way the future is turning and what to watch on Netflix.

But there’s also another level, in which you learn about yourself and your needs and wants and get to be part of someone else’s learning curve, too. The campsite rule** undoubtedly applies. That is, according to Dan Savage, the idea that “in a relationship with a large age and/or experience gap, the older partner/more experienced partner has the responsibility to leave the younger/less experienced partner in at least as good a state (emotionally and physically) as before the relationship.” As the older partner that is on you – but often, it’s a joy and a privilege to be trusted to take part in someone else’s emotional development.

  1. Younger Women Are Emotionally Stable

One of the reasons older men go for younger women is because they assume that older women have emotional hang-ups and younger women don’t. Such men are enticed by the seeming innocence and purity of the younger woman. They think that because she’s never had her heart broken, she won’t have intimacy issues. They think that because she’s years away from turning 40 she won’t constantly remind him of her biological clock.

Older women, on the other hand, often lose their soft charm as a result of undergoing more ups and downs in life. Older men look for dating partners who can refresh them up and are thus rarely interested in women who are emotionally burdened.

  1. To Recapture Their Youthful Adventures

One of the most attractive things about younger women is that they live a life largely free of responsibility. Single women in their 20s, for example, often don’t have kids or mortgages. They can still afford to get sloshed on a Wednesday night and they can have sex with whomever they want, whenever they want.

Older men often date younger women in an attempt to recapture this lost state of youthful adventure, but it rarely, if ever, works. While it might be fun to relive your youth for a few weeks, you’ll eventually get tired of the club and all-night binge drinking and the other things men over 30 shouldn’t be doing.

  1. Younger Women are still Naive

Older men have lots of relationship experience under their belt. They know what you’re looking for in a partner. They know how to weather the storms in every relationship, also know when to stand their ground and when to compromise. Older men can always control their younger partners because they are still young and naïve.

Younger women, however, do not. Older men are essentially her guinea pig, as she experiments in the field of sex and relationships. Sometimes those experiments will be fun. Other times they’ll blow up in your face. The truth still remains that older men prefer younger women because they are still very naïve.

Older Man

  1. Commitment and Maturity

Because older men are generally more ready to settle down and establish a home than young men, this can be a benefit if both partners are looking for a quick and steady commitment. Although differences in maturity may prove difficult for some couples, particularly those where the female is in her early 20s and lacks significant life experience, such relationships may be a good fit for others couples — a woman in her 30s with an established career and a man in his 50s, for example.

Younger women typically want a man with maturity, experience, and done with playing immature games. Obviously, this is not a man who belongs to her age group. And fortunately, she’s looking for older guys. This doesn’t necessarily mean men in their 60’s or 70’s, but men who have a significant age gap from her own age.

  1. It makes them Healthier

A woman who is younger than you is more likely also more active than you. For this reason, dating a younger woman can have numerous physical perks. You might find you lose weight with the increase the activity your younger lady provides, you tone up, and your heart and body will generally be healthier. Even your mind can benefit from physical activity, as it generates endorphins in your brain which are associated with good feelings.

By choosing a bride 15-17 years younger, a man can cut his risk of premature death by 20 percent. Even choosing a wife seven to nine years younger will reduce his risk of dying early by 11 percent. So found a study by Germany’s Max Planck Institute, which looked at deaths between 1990 and 2005 for the population of Denmark.

  1. Not Stuck in His Ways

As you age, you get into habits and sometimes ruts. Often people get stuck in their ways regarding how they do things and what they are willing to try. With a younger woman, her habits are not as firmly entrenched which makes it easier to negotiate your relationship.

Things like what time you eat meals or go to sleep at night, where you vacation and the type of activities you enjoy together. Many older men complain about how women their own age are very rigid about how they live their lives. They tend to say “No” more often than “Yes” to trying something new. Youth offers more flexibility, giving you greater options to explore together.

      16. She’s open-minded.

Sure, we all tend to grow more opinionated as we get a little older, and some of us are young at heart and open-minded forever. But we may be more likely to find an enthusiastic cheerleader and non-judgmental partner in a person who is on the younger side.

Stuck on trying those tango lessons that your ex-refused to consider? Chances are, your younger woman is game. Dying to hike the Pacific Northwest or finally start your own consulting firm? She won’t be a naysayer; she’ll admire your talent and determination.



  1. If you know what you want, she’s likely up to the task.

In any relationship, it’s critical to know what you want. Are you looking for something casual? Are you hoping for something long-term? Or are you in transition and aware of that fact — looking to experiment and explore?

Fireworks in bed are not a factor of age, but of attraction and emotional bonding. Belief systems and values have little to do with the year of your birth. A 40-year-old man with a 5-year-old may find she has everything in common with a 30-year-old woman with a 5-year old. A 55-year-old man may find a passionate and attentive lover in a 38-year-old.

  1. They’re hot!

No offense intended to the mature beautiful we all know and love, but younger women are happy to take a tumble at any time of day or night — not just for scheduled Saturday Night Sex. And that’s hot! Also, they look so hot in their appearance, from their body structure to their hairstyles and makeup, everything about them is hot and appealing!

From a sexuality standpoint, many say that a younger woman and older man are a better fit, though this depends on the couple, of course. But consider this: You may want to explore in ways you never felt comfortable when you were younger. She may be more than willing to do so… with enthusiasm. You may want to make up for lost time after a less than monumental marital sex life. He may be more than delighted to oblige. All these qualities make younger women so hot!

  1. They appreciate you

An older woman can bring a lot to the table — emotionally, financially and from the perspective of general life experience. Younger women can talk to an older man and really value their knowledge and sense of perspective. So long as the younger woman has a mature head on his shoulders and knows the remarkable nature of the relationship dynamic and how lucky she is (and they often do!) – a younger woman can make you feel truly adored and special.

Therefore, to make sure you continue to be satisfied with the relationship, your woman may offer to do you special favors inside the bedroom and out, frequently buy you gifts, and sing your praises to everyone he meets.

older man

  1. Younger men normally have fewer responsibilities. 

Older women often have responsibilities such as kids or a stressful job to worry about, but the younger you go, the less likely these aspects of life will be a factor.

If you date a younger woman who hasn’t got around to having kids yet, you won’t have to worry about any potentially awkward introductions, especially if you have your own children. Your woman having less responsibility at work may mean he’ll be more likely to respond to a spontaneous request for a date or be able to take off early for a weekend getaway without being concerned about what he’s left behind at the office.

She also may not have purchased a home yet, something that tends to take up time and energy. And if you’re still renting too, you two may become first-time homebuyers together someday.

  1. Younger women are less likely to be cynical

If the man you’re dating is a few years younger than you, then unless you’ve had far less relationship experience than others your age, she likely hasn’t dated as many people in a serious manner. Older women who have been through one or two marriages and divorces or even the breakup of several long-term romances often become cynical about relationships in general, although they still desire companionship.

Some may be quite suspicious of you, expecting that you’ll do something that an ex-did or they may not put as much effort into a relationship as they would have in the past, making it seem like they don’t care very much. After dating a few ladies with these attitudes once again, it’s recognized that not all older women are like this, the almost naïve enthusiasm for love that a younger man is likely to have may be refreshing.


For both young women dating older men and older men dating younger women, the differences in maturity have benefits. From a young woman’s view, an older man is more mature than the men in her age group. Older men who have had more life experience might also be willing to settle down and commit faster than a younger man who still has a lot to try in the world. For an older man, the youthful maturity of a younger woman can be refreshing.


Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net






David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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