Romantic gestures are easy to maintain in a marriage, are they? Well, not everyone has the same opinion on how to keep the romantic fire blazing. This is especially so when it comes to marriage! Right? Are you constantly working on your marriage? Romantic wise?
Are you sure you’re not among the majority of couples who’ve gotten comfortable? Too comfortable with each other you’ve forgotten the word ROMANTIC? Allow Becky Thompson’s observation in Love Unending: Rediscovering Your Marriage in the Midst of Motherhood to challenge you.
According to her, the result of this is the death of what was once a promising marriage. As a woman, officially stop complaining about your husband’s lack of romance! It’s time you took matters into your own hands! Get him to be romantic! Try the following:
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Do you talk about day to day family issues with your boo? Congratulations! It’s keen to, however, note that there is more to communication! When you dream together, expose your feelings, and share your thoughts, you are likely to connect better.
Turn off the television and put away your phone and talk while looking into your husband’s eyes. Most importantly, listen. It doesn’t have to take more than 15 minutes a day. That’s how you get to know how life is for your husband.
When he knows you appreciate his desires and ambitions, he is more likely to reciprocate with romantic gestures. There’s no need of being pretentious about it! The interest you have in him needs to be genuine.
Apologizing and forgiving
No marriage exists without fights! Handling your fights in the right way can help you build your marriage for the better. After an argument, be the first to apologize. That’s how you show your spouse, you value peace and understanding more than being right.
When your spouse wrongs you, forgive and move on! In his book Radical Forgiveness, Colin Tipping says harboring bitter feelings can only ruin your desire for your husband. The unfortunate part is that your husband won’t find a reason to reach out to you with romantic gestures.
To help him desire you, forgive him. There should be no mistakes so grievous or numerous that you cannot forgive your husband. Just do it if you want him to love you even more.
Flirting with him
Nothing tells your husband that you are still interested in him more than flirting with him. If you don’t know how to do it, learn a few tips. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Make some sexy compliments, peeks, winks, and touches. You don’t have to do this throughout the time you are together. Even if it’s once a day, it will be worth the while. With time, your husband will catch up with the romantic trend!
Maximizing time together
You can sometimes get so busy with the cares of life that they forget to stop and enjoy it! You forget that life is not a rehearsal. Every day you live, you may end up wasting several opportunities to be happy.
According to A 14-Day Challenge by Sharon Jaynes, there is no better thing than enjoying life with your spouse! It is a compliment when your husband realizes you want to enjoy time with him. If you want him to be romantic, make time with your husband a priority on your calendar! Set aside time to complete chores, go out, and relax.
As much as there are other things to do in life, make sure you invest in the relationship. Every day, ensure you create new memories together! That’s how you get him to be romantic.
Dating your husband
Most married couples make the mistake of relaxing once they are hooked. Don’t fall into this trap! Together with your husband, make a commitment to schedule regular romantic date nights. Don’t monopolize the agenda.
By allowing your husband to take charge, you are telling him he can act in love. Create the excitement by having a vast variety of activities. You may want to go on a picnic, scenic drive or a dessert and coffee at the café.
Did you get into your marriage with the mentality that your husband should serve you? Well, you need to change your mentality right away! Be selfless by putting your husband’s needs before yours. (Yes! You read that right!) With time, you will find even the most iron-hearted man reciprocating your kind gestures.
If you want your husband to be romantic, consider him first even in the most mundane things. The problem with most couples is that they tend to trivialize their spouses instead of esteeming them. Considering your husband is the most important person in your life, simply live for him.
With time, you will discover you are arguing less and rarely feeling sorry for yourself. According to David Schnarch, in his book Passionate Marriage says there is nothing more fulfilling than having secure children and a happy husband!
In marriage, the benefits of being spiritually intimate supersede that of physical intimacy! Has it ever occurred to you that you can have lots of sex and not be really intimate? When you pray together, there is a connection between your souls.
Much as you admire each other physically, you need to show that you respect and admire each other spiritually. Building your spiritual bond through prayer is a sure way of strengthening your physical intimacy. If your husband is not spiritually inclined, pray for him. With time, you will get him to join you in prayer. A romantic husband will then be inevitable!
Continuously affirming him
Did you know that having a critical attitude towards your husband can break your marriage? There is no need to keep pointing out how your spouse disappoints you. Instead, make your husband desire you and feel more romantic by looking for the positive attributes.
Every time you notice something good about your husband, appreciate him from the heart. Avoid being pretentious and stop glossing over issues!
By giving genuine compliments, you will bring out your husband’s good qualities and help him appreciate you more. If he is the breadwinner, let him know you appreciate his efforts of providing financially for the family. That way, you will have him striving to give you and the children his very best. In a Romantic way of course!
Being intentionally romantic
For there to be romance in your relationship, there must be efforts from one or both of you. Just sitting there and waiting for things to happen will kill any romance you had left. On a daily basis, look for ways to better please your husband.
Initiate sex, when you have to. Your husband will feel loved when you show you want him sexually. Most men who feel desired by their wives almost always reciprocate by being more romantic. That’s according to Michael Smalley and Amy Smalley in they book Reignite Your Marriage in Two Days. But that doesn’t have to be the only way to tell your husband ‘I love you’. Let your husband know how you want him to give you romance.
Don’t assume that he knows what you want. When it comes to romantic issues, most men are hopelessly clueless, so educate him! Once he has learned what you expect of gestures will be your cup of tea.
The best moments in a marriage are not those done routinely! To spice up your marriage, you need to be spontaneous every once in a while. It doesn’t matter if you have to plan ahead. Think of something your husband will never expect you to do and surprise him with it!
After a period of stretching yourself, expect your spouse to begin reciprocating your romantic gestures. By going for the unfamiliar, you will begin to grow closer to your husband than usual. Ask any person in a stable, romantic and successful marriage, how they do it.
It’s the resultant excitement that makes for a great relationship! Every day, send him a text message, email or letter to remind him how much you love him. Get romantic first! Then, he’ll be romantic. That’s the advice from Write it Out, Don’t Fight It by Carrie Davenport. You get what you give honey! It’s all on you!
Embracing his quirks
Your husband is a unique individual! Expecting him to be like you is trivial. With time, you should learn to recognize the things that make him stand out. Is it the tone of voice? What about the facial expression and mannerism?
Some of these things can be very annoying if they get into your mind. Don’t try to change your husband! He is an adult, after all. If you are not careful, this will drive a wedge between the two of you. There is no reason why you should let this happen in your marriage.
When all is said and done, it’s these quirks that make your husband one in a million. With time, your husband will realize you love him unconditionally and become more romantic. If anything, your husband loves you despite your many foibles!
Putting his needs first
As a wife, you came into that marriage relationship with your own expectations. As much as that’s important, take time to learn about your spouse’s needs. Just because he is your husband doesn’t mean he doesn’t need time with his buddies.
Allowing your husband to spend time with his male friend is a way of telling him you care. He will not just get some fellowship, but will come home refreshed and romantic after a day out with his “men”. The bottom line is that you need to create a balance between being dependent and independent.
Just like you, your husband has a natural desire to be independent says Claire Robin in his book Intimacy in Marriage. So, next time your man say’s he’s hanging out with his mates, let him be!
Fully Playing your role
In marriage, sex is as much your responsibility as it is your husband’s. Take care of yourself to ensure you’re always turning him on! The chances of him being romantic will then accelerate. You don’t need to put on anything expensive. With what you have, you can present yourself to your husband as more appealing than usual.
If you can, invest in more appealing lingerie. The aim is to put your husband’s needs before your own. Getting to agree with your spouse on when you are going to have sex should help heighten the anticipation. Don’t be surprised if your husband gets excited about the time together. If he comes home with a bunch of flowers, thank him for it. Make sure you voice any expectations you have. That way, you’ll be reading from the same script.
Celebrating important milestones
You’re certainly going to encounter several milestones together! You have till death does you part, remember? Never forget anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Building lasting memories ought to be something you do intentionally.
Since your marriage has its unique experiences, make sure you create your own traditions and celebrations. Mark out the days that are important to your husband and celebrate them his way. Have lots of fun while on it! That way, his romantic gestures will constantly be alert.
Spouses who remain romantic over a lifetime are those who never gave up in the midst of life’s changes. It’s not just your situations that will change, your husband will change too. In marriage, people grow!
The best you can do is embracing the changes as they come. Maintain the same trust you had for each other at the beginning. Whatever you do, support your husband in his efforts to grow financially and even professionally.
The easiest way to breed resentment is trying to hold back your husband says, Karen Johnson in Marriage: The Secret To Rebuilding Trust, Intimacy, and Connection in your marriage. Support and cheerlead your man! Ask for help whenever you need it! Individual success equals team success! When things are going pretty well, Romantic gestures are almost always nearby.
To keep the romantic fire burning in marriage, both spouses must take deliberate steps to actualize it. It becomes critical when you realize your relationship has no intimacy, passion, and romance. As the wife, you need to take a more proactive role to reignite romance in your marriage.
With time, you will find your husband becoming the romantic man you’ve always hoped for. The secret is remaining committed and prioritizing on romance. Go out of your way to please your husband and he will do the same to you!
is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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