Increase Physical Intimacy In A Relationship: A Step by Step Guide

By David Small •  Updated: 05/24/21 •  11 min read

Is it possible to increase physical intimacy in a relationship?  Relationship intimacy requires a strong physical and emotional connection. When your relationship is lacking intimacy, it can be difficult to maintain.

This will lead to a feeling of loneliness and resentment.  If you notice the physical connection with your partner isn’t what you want it to be. Then this article will help you to ignite passion in your relationship.

Couples in new relationships can’t keep hands off each other. Besides proximity, sensual touch, and a strong connection, infuses into a relationship love, trust, romance, friendship, and companionship.

However, as couples become familiar with each other, they gradually lose the drive to be physically intimate. Soon, loneliness, resentment, hatred, and other negative emotions set in.

Can A Relationship Survive Without Physical Intimacy?

Yes and No. Yes, because it depends on the cause of the lack of intimacy. An example is when one partner has health issues that render them unable to have physical intimacy. The other partner may opt to stay in the relationship to support the spouse on the road to recovery.

On the other hand, couples with no health issues should be more physically intimate to create a sense of security in the relationship. Without physical intimacy, partners in a relationship soon develop problems such as:

How Do You Increase Physical Intimacy In A Relationship?

Once a couple loses physical intimacy, it has to put in a lot of effort to rebuild it. Here is how to restore physical intimacy in a relationship:

  1. Take It Slow.

It takes a very confident person to be receptive to physical intimacy, especially hugging or kissing in public. Unfortunately, fewer people are sure enough to have a public display of affection.

Reasons for being awkward or uncomfortable with physical intimacy in marriage vary from one individual to another. According to Dr. Timothy J. Legg, the individuals who fear physical intimacy may have:

If your partner has problems with physical intimacy, you should probe whether any of the issues above affects them. Where possible, seek help from a qualified marriage counselor together. The sooner you address the underlying issues, the better you can increase physical intimacy in your relationship.

  1. Ramp up The Romance.

Most couples often mistake physical intimacy to be more about touching, hugging, kissing, and cuddling. However much these activities are essential, they are the only things that create a physically intimate relationship.

Physical intimacy also has to do with creating an environment where the partners feel comfortable and enjoy each other’s company. Thus, you can improve physical intimacy in a relationship by engaging in romantic acts such as:

Such small acts of affection may seem trivial, but they are influential in improving physical intimacy between the two of you. In the end, your relationship will become stronger and capable of riding the storms that often come.

  1. Avoid Forcing Physical Intimacy in the relationship.

Don’t be mistaken! Forcing your partner to kiss, hug, or cuddle won’t necessarily improve your relationship’s physical intimacy.

Most likely, your partner might end up rejecting your overtures and efforts to make him or her physically intimate with you. When you force physical intimacy, your partner might even start viewing it in a negative light.

The alternative is to realize that you and your partner require space to be on your own. It’s all about respecting the boundaries you have established in the relationship.

Setting boundaries helps you define ownership and responsibility for your body, words, emotions, attitudes, preferences, and values. They also eliminate the blame game when misunderstandings occur.

Here are helpful tips for establishing healthy boundaries in your relationship:

Therefore, remember to exercise patience while taking things slowly. Don’t forget that you don’t have to cuddle on the coach to be physically intimate. Allowing your partner to be on their own is equally helpful as you will have something to discuss.

Also Related: 15 Ways To Increase Physical Intimacy In The Bedroom.

  1. Make Use of Small Physical Signs.

Once again, physical intimacy is not just about the public display of affection through hugs, kissing, and touching. It isn’t also about going to bed early for an intimate night.

Instead, it is about the tiny gestures you and your partner do to show physical affection. Unlike hugging or kissing in public, small gestures of love don’t make people feel awkward as they feel normal.

These small acts of physical devotion include:

Even as you elevate the small gestures, make sure you are taking significant steps to increase physical intimacy in your relationship.

  1. Remove Distractions during Interaction.

Increasing physical intimacy in relationships requires deep, intimate human interaction. But that might not be possible with all the distractions with which modern couples have to grapple.

Examples of distractions that may diminish the quality of interaction between you and your partner include:

Sometimes you might be too exhausted to engage in any mutual activity with your partner. Experts recommend removing these distractions to have some quality time together with your spouse. With electronic devices, dealing with them is as easy as turning them on whenever you are together.

Work and career-related demands call for you to stop carrying work home. The two of you should prioritize the relationship to prevent any external issues from interfering with your union.

  1. Remember the Simple Things.

How do you increase physical intimacy in a relationship when you have a non-existent sex life? While having hot, steamy sex is essential, couples should infuse other activities that increase intimacy.

You can try to do anything that enhances intimacy like:

  1. Touch Each Other More Often.

Did you know that non-sexual touch has the power of improving your overall physical intimacy? So, don’t wait until the time for sex for you to touch each other. Writing for, Dr. Janet Brito suggests the following methods of sensual touch:

Cuddling is a time-tested method of bonding with your partner. It stimulates the release of oxytocin, a hormone that builds a stronger bond with your partner.

Showering or bathing together can create a strong bond between you and your partner. If you want, take turns giving each other scalp massages as you enjoy warm water all over your body.

Take time to massage one another to relieve stress after a long day at the office. You may massage one another on the back, hands, feet, and scalp. Regularly doing that can help you release tension and bond with each other.

You could smear yourselves with melted chocolate or other food types. As the warm chocolate spreads around your partner’s body, the two of you will build a strong bond.

Another great way to create a sensual touch is using everyday home items with varied textures and temperatures. After blindfolding your partner, place an article on their skin and ask them to guess what it is.

Try touching each other all over your bodies to discover how touching different parts of the body feels. When you find out a pleasurable part of the body, ask your partner to focus on it, and vice versa,

You have probably used the bondage-style during sex. However, it serves much more than that. Once you have tied your partner in cuffs, go ahead and kiss, tickle, or massage them. You can use scarves, belts, handcuffs, or ropes to hold your partner in bondage.

Also Related: 10 Simple Things that will Help You to have Great Sex.

  1. Employ Playfulness to Great Effect.

Did you know that being playful with your partner can help you bring back intimacy in a relationship? Apart from making you laugh, playfulness creates a sense of security and makes it easier for you to communicate.

If you keep doing it, conflict resolution will be much easier than before. According to researchers, playful men appear to be less aggressive, and women display youthfulness, bringing out their reproductive prowess.

Apart from feeling good, playfulness makes you laugh, makes it easy to seduce your partner, and fosters effective communication.

Here are several ways you can be playful with your partner:

  1. Openness and Tenderness.

You can only increase physical intimacy in a relationship by getting rid of bad habits and adopting good ones. For instance, you should stop belittling your partner and making them feel useless.

Instead, start exhibiting more openness and tenderness. In a 2020 study, researchers observed that transparency in a relationship creates a great sense of satisfaction. Wives who idealize their husbands are more satisfied with the relationship and vice versa.

In the same way, partners who their spouses idealize appeared to be more confident in their relationships.

Here are simple strategies to be more open in your relationship:

  1. Schedule Sexual Intimacy.

Physical intimacy boils down to sex. Therefore, you should prioritize sex by making it part of your busy schedule. With all the things happening around you, failure to schedule sex would mean not having enough of it.

You will end up falling asleep as soon as you get into bed instead of working on increasing your intimacy. If you slot it into your busy schedule, sex will become an integral part of your life.

You and your partner will be looking forward to the encounter like you have never done before. During the day, you can call your partner or send them a text message to remind them of what’s coming in the evening.

As you start fulfilling your schedule, the two of you will infuse spontaneity into the relationship, improving physical intimacy.

Here are the benefits of regular sex:


We cannot overemphasize the importance of physical intimacy in a relationship. It is for that reason that you should take steps to increase it. First, you shouldn’t be in a hurry to achieve anything, realizing that you need to take it slow.

Take time to involve yourself and your partner in various romantic activities to strengthen the bond between the two of you. Whatever you do, don’t force your partner to be physically intimate with you. Remember that the small physical gestures do matter.

In the same way, you need to identify and remove any distractions working against your relationship. While physical intimacy is essential, avoid overcomplicating things.

Instead, pay attention to the seemingly trivial things that help you improve intimacy. Additionally, you should touch, be playful, open up, and schedule sexual intimacy.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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