21 Proven Ways To Get Your Husband To Love You.

By David Small •  Updated: 09/11/16 •  20 min read

Are you bothered that your husband doesn’t love you anymore and you want to learn how to make your husband fall in love with you again?

Do you think that the spark in your marriage that was there in the previous days has vanished? There is no need to worry.

These kinds of feelings are very common. It’s very natural for a marriage to mature and progress. However, there is no reason this progress shouldn’t involve love again.

21 Ways To Get Your Husband Love You Again

Photo by Leah Kelley from Pexels

There are a lot of things you can do to rekindle the romance in your relationship and make him love and want you again.

You used your feminine wiles and scintillating personality to capture your husband’s attention, make him fall in love with you and marry you. You might think the hard part is over, but now is not the time to slack off.

Your husband needs your loving attention now as much as he did when you were dating. Mignon McLaughlin said, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

Here are 21 ways to get your husband to love you again.

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  3. 50 Reasons Why Marriages Fail In The First Year
  4. 50 Things That Will Save Your Marriage From Divorce


  1. Work on your Appearance.

With time, you might have stopped dressing up just to impress your husband. So, if comfort has become your preference over style now, it is time to change. Make it a point to maintain yourself well, and dress up nicely on a regular basis.

At times, you can even surprise him with a deadly combination of a sensuous dress and his favorite fragrance! This way, you can be assured that he will never be able to take his eyes off you.

Do not ignore your outward appearance as well as inner beauty. Look after yourself, rebuild your wardrobe and generally take care of the way you look and feel.

When you are attractive from the outside and beautiful from the inside, it can definitely make your husband fall in love with you again. Even if he says he loves you without makeup, understand that he’s saying that to make you feel good about your appearance.

Wear makeup!  Always wear clothes that make you feel attractive. Do not wear something just because it’s comfortable. Update your hairstyle every two years. Look your best all the time.

  1. Respect Him.

Love is actually not at the top of the list of needs for husbands. It’s RESPECT. How you think of him affects how you talk to him. It affects how you talk to him to your friends and to your kids.

Do you respect your husband more than other men in your life? What do you say about him when your friends ask? Do you always think you’re better than him?

Do you think if you have the final say for everything, your life will be better? Is he always at the top of your shopping list? Your answers will show you what you need to change.

To be able to give respect, you need to have respect. Treat him with the utmost regard and he will respond positively.

21 Ways To Get Your Husband Love You Again

  1. Surprise him with a gift.

Buying simple gifts for your husband, like buying his favorite candy from his childhood, will surely keep him in a happy mood throughout the day. Or, there might be a few things that your husband may have been thinking about buying for quite some time.

So, why not surprise him by gifting him one of those? It can be anything from buying a concert ticket to his favorite singer to getting him a PlayStation, or anything else on his wishlist.

Just surprise him with a gift that he has desired for a long time and he will surely love you for this!

If you’re usually disorganized and he hates that about you, organize the closet the way he wants it. Surprise your husband with a back rub when he’s tired.

A trail of strawberries that leads him to you will drive him completely crazy. Send him a raunchy text when you know he’s in a meeting. Email him in the middle of the day to tell him that you miss him. Be unpredictable and he will treat you like this mysterious goddess.

  1. Spend quality time Together.

While your busy lives might not leave you with enough opportunities, find out ways to spend some quality time together.

Take a romantic walk together, or just lie down next to each other watching stars. You can even have a candlelight dinner at home followed by some cozy moments together. This will definitely add a new charm to your married life.

Spend as much quality time with your husband as possible. This can bring him closer to you and make your husband fall in love with you again. Give your other responsibilities and commitments a break to concentrate more on your husband.

Scheduling a regular time to be by yourselves as a couple, away from your work and home responsibilities can help you stay connected and remember what you love about each other.

But that doesn’t have to mean getting all dressed up and going out to a fancy dinner—it can be as simple as taking a walk together every night and discussing your day.

  1. Find solutions to your Problems Amicably.

Having certain problems in a relationship is quite normal. But, the way you both handle them matters a lot. So, instead of complaining and having further fights on a particular issue, better sit and find out a solution together.

Not only will your mature behavior maintain the positivity in your relationship, but it will also impress your husband a lot.

Do you nag at your husband, about things that he said he would do, but never got around to doing it? Or, as soon as he gets home from work, you find yourself venting all of your frustrations of the day?

Again, a lot of women do this to their husbands, most of the time they don’t even realize that they are doing it. Don’t spend too much time and energy on analyzing what could have gone wrong and who is responsible. Instead, focus more on finding a solution to put your marriage back on tracks.

  1. Pray.

It’s usually at the last of all relationship lists when it’s supposed to be the first. Before you can ever start building a love relationship with your husband, you need help. And there’s no better source of help but the real Source–God.

You might think it’s weird or corny, but if there is anything that you can take away from all of this that will surely be effective no matter who or what you are, it’s this.

Don’t pray with doubtful thoughts–thinking He is far and distant and would probably hear you and help you if He likes.

Talk to him like a really close, trustworthy friend who can actually solve your problems and end your struggles in one fell swoop. It takes time and practice to feel that familiar to someone you can’t physically see.

If you’re impatient, you might not see results; but praying is an act of surrender and faith.

It’s not asking what you want. It’s presenting what you have, acknowledging that you are helpless and declaring that He has the power to turn things around for you and your husband.


  1. Give Him Space.

Give your husband some space, he really needs it. Don’t keep hounding him about why he’s acting this way. That will only make matters worse.

Try to talk to him about it, and remember to tell him that you love him. It’s really important for both of you to get some space from each other and spend time on yourselves.

Not only will you feel better about yourself by redirecting your relationship energy, but you will also reconnect with friends, pick up old hobbies and regain that energy you had at the beginning of the relationship.

Once you have both had a bit of space and a chance to recharge the batteries, you will value the other more and inject some of that honeymoon period excitement and spontaneity back into your partnership.

A big mistake is to fear that letting him go means losing him. When actually you can lose somebody by holding on to them too tightly.

  1. Shower Him With Love.

Have you told your husband how much you love him or have you done anything to show him how you feel? He may not be showing his love for you because you’re not showing it for him. It’s not intentional, but married couples frequently fall into this ‘trap’.

If you want to make your husband fall in love with you again like the very first time, you must shower him with unconditional love and affection. Whenever he comes home from a stressful day at work, ensure you quickly help to reduce the tension and stress he may have carried home from the workplace.

Provide him with the food he desires to eat on time and put up a bright and sunny smile that will show you love him so much.

If you are the one who is not showing your husband with enough care and attention he may start to think that you are taking him for granted. Men want themselves to be appreciated. Giving your man the appropriate care and attention will be another way to keep the marriage going.

  1. Cut Off Your Dirty Manners.

Have your words and speeches recently become very poisonous? Do you talk rudely and abusively to your husband? Do you shout at your husband in public as if he is your servant? Cut off all injurious statements from your speeches and learn to talk in a respectful manner to your husband.

If you can take this simple step, you will feel better about yourself and you will open the door that will make your husband fall in love with you again like the very first time.

Do not always insist on getting your ways or constantly making him feel stupid, guilty or worthless. You should try to make your husband feel special and important.

One thing your husband will not like is when you constantly accuse him of flirting with other women when there is no basis for doing so. Even if you caught him red-handed in the act, do not disgrace him publicly by fighting and abusing him in public.

Do not wash your husband’s dirty linen in public. Do not constantly monitor the movement of your husband because you suspect he might be cheating on you.

  1. Have a Positive Mindset.

Change the way you used to think, to make your husband think the way you want him to. Do not waste too much time thinking about the past, what went wrong, who is at fault, etc.

Instead, think of the solutions. What can you do to reverse the trend? Wake up every morning with a positive attitude. Think that you are going to go all out to make a fresh start with your relationship.

The more you think about the negative things in your marriage or about your husband you can never make your husband fall in love with you again.

Your husband would soon notice the positive attitudinal changes in you. Positive thinking is infectious. Soon he too would start thinking positive about the marriage and the relationship he shares with you.

Who can resist a warm hug from the wife who holds her husband in high esteem and showers love and affection, all over again? This is a sure way to make your husband fall in love with you again.


  1. Be Forgiving.

Whatever has happened in the past let them be. Look forward to a loving future with your husband and tell him more than once how much you value his company in your life.

Remember, he is your best friend first before he is your husband. Treat him warmly with a lot of love and respect and this way you can make your husband fall in love with you again.

Learn to forgive your husband even when he hurts you. Do not nurse any grudge or ill feelings to the next day. Settle every misunderstanding or disagreement on the same day.

If God can forgive you when you repent, then so can you. You can also forgive yourself. Oftentimes, women get so guilty that it kills them from the inside. Forgiving is a choice to let the guilt and burden go.

  1. Understand Him.

Making your husband fall in love again starts with understanding him. When you feel your husband lost his love for you, you will feel the urge to blame him for that. That will manifest itself in blaming him for everything.

You will be inclined to nag, argue and criticize him. Unfortunately, all this will do is to create a counter-reaction from him which will cause fights, which will take love further away.

When you’re going the wrong way, the first step to go the right way is to stop going the wrong way. So, if you want to make your husband fall in love with you again, stop making him fall even more out of love with you.

Understand him instead of criticizing him. This will do a great job of repairing your marriage, especially if you think your husband doesn’t love you anymore.

  1. Plan a Romantic Date or Gateway.

When couples are married for a long time, they tend to take each other for granted. No special plans are made for weekends. If at all you dress up, it’s when friends are coming over or if you’re visiting people.

Decide on a particular day and make romantic plans with your husband. No Burger King or Taco Bell. Plan a romantic getaway with sensual massages or take him out for a fancy dinner. Dress up like you did when you were dating to grab attention.

Book a table at the same restaurant where you used to meet when you were dating. Blindfold your husband and drive him to the restaurant so he has no clue. Order the same things you ordered before.  Wear the same perfume and if possible, wear the same dress.

In order to get your husband to fall in love with you again, remind him of the girl he fell in love with. Being with you shouldn’t only be good, it should be exciting. A little bit of thought and effort will help you get in this mode.

Taking control and initiative can be tedious, but just wait till you see the effect it has on your husband. Attack all his senses, smile and watch your husband falling for you again.

  1. Develop a Set of Interests which is Typical of You.

Husbands hate wives who have nothing else to do but to feed babies and take care of the home. An independent woman with interests of her own would always be attractive. This is an important criterion to make your husband fall in love with you again.

Cultivate and follow your dreams. Do things you’ve always wanted to, but didn’t or couldn’t for whatever reason.

A spouse with their own set of interests makes for an attractive and confident partner, you need to find something to do by yourself, something you enjoy and are passionate about, spend time with your friends, go shopping alone, and enjoy your life.

Don’t be dependent on your husband for simple things. If you act hard to get, your spouse will want more of you and will get attracted to your independent personal……someone who has new aspects to talk about and share.


  1. Forget the Past.

Okay, completely forgetting the past isn’t really possible. However, you can stop yourself from allowing your past history with your husband to influence how you see him today.

Too many partners hold on too strongly to the past and prevent themselves from falling in love again.

Part of the way we forget the past is by focusing on the present. Who is your husband now? That’s who you’re going to fall in love with. Be honest with yourself about how your husband has changed for the better, even if it’s only in really small ways.

Work at Seeing Him for Who He is Now, not who he’s been. This is hard to do after you’ve been hurt but it is a necessity if you really want to fall in love with your husband again. It’s easy to see all the things you don’t like, so try to look for some things that you do like.

  1. Be more Touchy-Feely.

“Long-term couples don’t touch enough,” says Wendy Walsh, a clinical psychologist, and founder of AskALoveGuru, a site that matches relationship therapists with potential clients. “When we touch—especially skin-to-skin—we get a little rush of the brain chemicals that help trigger those loving feelings.”

Think about how often you and your husband actually share physical contact on a daily basis. If it’s just a quick peck on the lips before and after work, make an effort to step up your game, says Walsh.

If you are feeling like his or her touch doesn’t mean so much anymore, start touching him like you really mean it.

Put love and affection back into your touching and kissing.  Do it in a way that your husband can’t doubt your affection.

  1. Limit Technology.

In a 2014 Brigham Young University survey of heterosexual women, 70% felt that smartphones and other devices were interfering with their love lives.

You and your husband should make an agreement to cut out phones and television at mealtimes and in the bedroom, or deciding together about specific times you will and will not use technology. “Otherwise, you won’t give each other your full attention, and it’s easy to become annoyed or feel disconnected.”

Guard your heart against distractions. In this social media and information technology age, getting distracted with other things is instantly easy.

Affairs are easy to form. The moment you delete a message so that he won’t see is already an affair. Guard your marriage against these acts. Secrets, no matter how small, can scar your marriage.

  1. Appreciate him.

When you fall into habits in a relationship, you may take for granted the nice things your husband routinely does for you. And even if you do notice them, do you let him know you’re thankful?

Gratitude is important in every relationship. “Put a note in his briefcase letting him know you appreciate that he gets the dry cleaning every week,” she says, “or touch her on the arm and thank her for bringing you Starbucks every day.”

Keeping a gratitude journal, and writing down three things every day you’re thankful for—whether it’s related to your relationship or not. “It can foster a sense of well-being and openness that can improve your connection with your husband.”


  1. Flirt with Each Other.

Staying happy in a long-term relationship requires balancing two basic needs, according to Solomon: “We crave security and knowing somebody’s got our backs no matter what, but we also crave excitement and novelty and mystery,” she says. “The challenge is trying to have both of those things met by the same person—and one-way couples can do that is by flirting with each other like they’ve just met.”

Flirting can be different for every couple, but anything affectionate, sexually suggestive, or playful can fit the bill. And while it may feel awkward to send an inappropriate text to the person you’ve been married to for years, it can help add excitement to a romance that feels stalled, says Solomon.

“The key is finding a way to do it so you both feel comfortable and you’re having fun.”

  1. Work on your Sex Life.

Marriage is a sexual relationship that requires both emotional and physical intimacy; however, marriage problems often show up in the bedroom first.

Initiate sex to make your husband feel desired. Or, if you’ve been pressuring him for sex, try the opposite – tease him, but let him take the lead.

Add spice to your bland sex life by showing more enthusiasm and experimenting with sex toys, lubricants, and new positions.

Shake up your sexual schedule. If your sexual frequency is high but excitement is low, practice delayed gratification to build anticipation.

If there is no frequency, break out the calendar and pencil it in. Sex is a use-it-or-lose-it type of thing. And in the end, the couple that plays together stays together.

  1. Admit your Mistakes.

Apologize to your husband anytime you offend him. Relationship repair attempts are the secret weapon of emotionally intelligent couples. It may not be easy to patch things up before going to bed when you’re flaring with anger but really make an effort to see the view from his side of the bed.

Admitting you’re wrong won’t kill you but not admitting and keeping your pride up might mean the end of your marriage. It’s not about keeping the peace at home. It’s more of having peace of mind.

Do you have peace of mind about your marriage? Are you secure that even when you fight or have arguments, your marriage is intact?


As we grow older, we change. Everyone does, not only a few people. Look back at the early years of your marriage. Think back to what made your husband fall in love with you.

If you were highly energetic and full of life, but now are tired all the time and stuck in a rut, think of ways to get yourself out of that rut. Get a new hairstyle or a new outfit.

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you.

Too often, we get caught up in the newly-discovered faults of our husband once we get married, and we forget to just be nice.

Try some of these tips, and come up with some of your own. And you will not only make him fall in love with you again, but you might find yourself falling more in love with him as well.

Ways To Get Your Husband To Love

  1. Work on your Appearance.
  2. Respect Him.
  3. Surprise him with a Gift.
  4. Spend quality time together.
  5. Find solutions to your Problems Amicably.
  6. Pray.
  7. Give Him Space.
  8. Shower Him With Love.
  9. Cut Off Your Dirty Manners.
  10. Have a Positive Mindset.
  11. Be Forgiving.
  12. Understand Him.
  13. Plan a Romantic Date or Gateway.
  14. Develop a set of Interests which is Typical of You.
  15. Forget the Past.
  16. Be more Touchy-Feely.
  17. Limit Technology.
  18. Appreciate him.
  19. Flirt with Each Other.
  20. Work on your Sex Life.
  21. Admit your Mistakes.


Images courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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