17 Proven Ways to Create a Strong Intimate Relationship

By David Small •  Updated: 07/04/19 •  11 min read

A strong, intimate relationship takes time and effort to build. Since no one is prepared for a relationship, it takes a lot of patience and learning to be truly intimate.

As I write, I am also in the process of looking for workable tips to strengthen my relationship. If you read through the suggested strategies, you will also be able to build the strongest relationship ever.

17 Proven Ways to Create a Strong Intimate Relationship

Photo by Scott Webb from Pexels

After some research on the question of what true intimacy is, I came across a comprehensive definition from Psychology Today. According to the article, strong intimacy is defined by another person having full knowledge of you and loving you just as you are.

It is characterized by being rarely honest and vulnerable. When two people are intimate with each other, they are totally absorbed with one another both in bed and elsewhere. So it is not just about sex. Rather, intimacy is about being at “home” when around your partner.

Here are 17 proven ways to create a strong intimate relationship:

  1. Have Deep Conversations

What do you do when you meet your partner at the end of the day? While you may want to do a lot more together, it is usually enough to just have a deep, emotional talk. Share your day’s experiences and thoughts over a cup of tea.

This works very well, especially for women. All you need to do is give her a listening ear. It communicates to her how much you appreciate and values her. If you make it a habit, you will be able to build a strong, intimate relationship in no time.

  1. Be Open with Each Other

According to the book Time and Intimacy by Joel B. Bennett, intimacy is about discovering one another. To create a strong intimate relationship, you need to retain a level of curiosity that seeks to know more about your partner.

It takes effort. If you aren’t careful, you may end up in an endless rut. Open up to your partner and make it easy for him or her to share their deepest thoughts. Don’t hide anything from your partner. Failure to open up may make it difficult for you to build an intimate relationship.

Related Article: 21 Practical Ways To Regain Intimacy In Your Marriage

  1. Appreciate Each Other

One of the pillars of a strong intimate relationship is effective communication. In fact, according to one study, lack of effective communication is one of the main causes of divorce.

What some people are looking for in a relationship is someone who can openly appreciate them. When it seems like you are making a lot of effort that goes unnoticed, your relationship cannot go very far.

One way to show appreciation for your partner is buying a small gift once in a while. Let your partner know how much you care for him or her by providing a gift.

  1. Learn From Each Other

No one is perfect! When entering into a relationship, everyone comes with unique flaws. However, if you are willing to learn from your partner, it will be easier for you a build a strong intimate relationship.

Some of the things that irk you about your partner could be a reflection of your own character. Using your partner as a mirror, look deep into yourself and discover the things you can change. By becoming a better person, you will also be able to grow closer to your partner.

  1. Get Comfortable In Your Own Company

Some people mistakenly think they can be completed by being in a relationship. While companionship is important, you should learn to just be alone. Be comfortable in your own presence and stop looking for validation from your partner.

When you feel safe and secure being on your own, you will find it easier to create a strong intimate relationship. Whether your partner is around or not, you will feel happier, whole, and more complete.

You will not come off as a needy person who always has to get validation from others. If anything, being needy can take the oomph out of the relationship.

  1. Resolve Issues That Cause Fights

Fighting is normal in any relationship. However, it doesn’t have to happen all the time. The problem is that some couples just like fighting. They want to create a situation where they are always in a romantic trance.

Perhaps some just fear true intimacy. While the drama that comes with fighting might be exciting, it takes away the opportunity to be truly intimate.

Discover the reasons you fight and find solutions to them. What’s it that you fear so much about intimacy? Could it be making you fight a lot? Once you discover these details, you will fight less and be more intimate.

  1. Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin

When they get into romantic relationships, some people are hoping for something out of reach. You want to get a piece of your partner that you lack. Mistakenly, you think that he or she will complete you.

However, that doesn’t happen as expected. After falling in love with your partner, you may find it impossible to get what you were looking for. So, the best you can do is to own yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin.

After all, you can only find true love when you love yourself. Your partner will also find you to be more attractive is you have self-love.

Related Article: 31 Day Marriage Challenge That Will Improve A Marriage

  1. Participate In Mutual Activities

For you to feel close with your partner, you need to do more than just talk. You need to do something big together. It doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary. Why don’t you arrange to do something big for your family or friends?

Even seemingly small activities such as raising a dog can go a long way. That sense of agreement tends to build the bond between the two of you and improve intimacy. To create a strong, intimate relationship, make time to do something crazy together.

As you achieve your goals towards the activity, you will discover that your relationship also becomes stronger.

  1. Embrace Routine Activities

When you first enter into a relationship, things are more unpredictable. As you begin to live together, life becomes a routine. Things become more predictable. Before your partner does something, you can almost predict it.

Routine and predictability can be boring. However, it all depends on how you look at it. With the right approach, it can actually lead to a stronger, intimate relationship. Routine makes the connection between the two of you so strong that it is hard to recognize your partner’s presence. It is that closeness that defines intimacy if it is not taken for granted.

  1. Break the Routine

Granted, embracing the routine is necessary for the two of you to feel close enough. However, too much familiarity may breed contempt. The emotional bond between the two of you may not grow any strong if you keep going through the daily motions.

That’s why you should disrupt the routine, once in a while. If you have been together for a year, why don’t you plan a vacation? Going to a new place, just the two of you can create a strong, intimate relationship. If you can, plan for different vacations. By being apart for a while, you are likely to realize just how close the two of you are.

  1. Consider How Compatible You Are

Even though you are in the same relationship, the level of intimacy you are comfortable with may vary. Some people may require a lot of intimacy to stop feeling lonely while others may feel saturated if it becomes too much.

Since you are into a relationship, find out just how compatible you are when it comes to the need to be intimate. The relationship will only work if you can find a point of convergence between your needs. While some people may want a very close relationship, others might be at home with nothing too close.

  1. Focus on Loving Others

People mistakenly think that they will feel happier when someone else loves them. Sometimes, you have to forget about your need for love in order to be happy. True happiness is about loving yourself and others.

So, instead of seeking love, why don’t you be the one giving it. When you deeply love others, you will be able to create a strong, intimate relationship. After all, love is reciprocal. By the same measure with which you show affection to others, you will receive love.It doesn’t get any better than that.

  1. Don’t Expect Too Much

The worst mistake you can make is to go into a relationship expecting to receive love. Putting you’re your security on an individual can be very frustrating.

It gets worse if you have formed an opinion on the way you ought to be loved. What if the individual fails you? Since no one is perfect, you are unlikely to get what you are looking for.

So, stop demanding too much. The best you can do is to show love to your partner. Be open about how you expect to be loved. If you insist on your partner loving you in a particular way, you will end up frustrated.

Related Articles: 50 Best Marriage Advice That Will Transform A Marriage

  1. Celebrate the Good

No matter how bad your relationship is, there must be a few good things you can say about it. Find out these things and tell your partner about it. Is your partner always supportive in difficult times? Why don’t you tell him or her about it?

Don’t assume that he or she knows about it. Some things have to be verbalized to make meaning. By appreciating your partner, you are creating a strong, intimate relationship. You are telling him or her how your life won’t be the same without them.

So, don’t take it for granted. The small things you do on a daily basis can really go a long way.

  1. Go Out Together

One way of breaking the monotony in a relationship is taking time out together. During that time, forget about the issues in your relationship and focus on each other.

Under normal circumstances, you have to deal with the children, career, and other commitments. You may not have time to just be together and talk. So, take an evening out just to be alone with each other. If you can, a day or weekend out will be much better.

While together, forget about the issues in your life and participate in mutual activities. If you make these meetings regularly, you will be able to create a strong, intimate relationship.

  1. Go beyond Words and Sex

At the mention of the word “intimacy”, the first thing that comes to mind is talking and sex. However, intimacy is much more than just taking time to talk and sex.

For men, the mere act as asking how his day was is enough to make him feel closer to you. Some men just want to be hugged or kissed. When you open the door, hug him.

These simple acts are enough to show your man how much you appreciate him. He is likely to reciprocate by listening to you more. In the end, you will have a stronger, intimate relationship you have been looking for.

  1. Ask For Professional Help

Relationships have ups and downs. There are times when you will be on good terms and other times when you will fight. When you have problems, why don’t you seek help from a professional? With proper guidance, you should be able to navigate any problem and reach a workable mutual understanding.

You may want to talk to a counselor or enroll in a relationship course or workshop. Once you are through with these programs, you will get the skills to get over your relationship problems.


Strong intimate relationships do not come automatically. It takes a lot of hard work and understanding to be very close to your partner. If you follow the guide provided above, you will be able to have the strongest relationship you ever expected.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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