17 Reasons Why Flirting Is Important To Your Relationship

By David Small •  Updated: 05/07/14 •  10 min read

Flirting has always been a part of any relationship, on the first date, you need to flirt if the date is to be successful. Once you start dating, you may find the flirt aspect is not really necessary for the relationship.

In fact, there are people who believe flirting should not be done within a relationship. Such people are misguided because they do not know the benefits associated with flirting in a relationship.


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Some people believe when you flirt within a relationship you will not make the union better. They think that it may be a waste of time. Healthy flirting is a different play. You may have come across people who state that flirting in a relationship makes little to no difference. This being the case, you may have decided not to flirt.

However, there are 17 reasons why flirting is very healthy. Knowing the reasons why you should flirt can help you know the importance of the same in your relationship.

Related Articles on the Importance Of Flirting In Your Relationship

Flirting Boosts confidence

A long-term relationship, such as a marriage, can get monotonous despite how hard you try to keep it alive. Healthy flirting will allow you to get attention from your partner. In her book, 101 Ways to Flirt  Susan Rabin said, “this can be a great confidence booster as it will help you feel better about yourself”.

It is alright if your partner does not have it all

There are some hobbies and interests that you and your partner may never share. It is, therefore unwise to make your other half love everything that interests you.

Instead, you should talk about your interests with an individual that shares the same interests. When this is done, you will not only enjoy your interests better, but you will also offer each other the space required.

It will make you happy

The fact that flirting will make you happy is a good enough reason for you to do it. In fact, The Little Book of Flirting by Peta Heskell says it will make you feel sexy, handsome and/or sexy again.Such feelings will always make you happy. Scientists have proven that when you flirt, the body releases certain chemicals such as adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine. All these are happy chemicals.

 Reasons Why Flirting Is Important To Relationships

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Feel good factor

When you flirt, there is a feel-good factor involved in that you will end up being more happy and cheerful about your current relationship. For instance, when you flirt in a relationship, you are showing your partner you still think of them the first time you met.

Not only will it have a positive impact on your overall relationship, but it will also make you and your partner feel good. This is further illustrated in Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work by Patrick Fanning and Matthew McKay Ph.D.

Value your relationship

When you are in a stable relationship and you are flirting, you will not have to worry about the experience later. For example, women tend to wonder ‘does he like me’ or ‘is he going to call?’ In this case, women are the most affected. If you are a woman and you flirt with your partner, you will not have to worry if they will call you or not.

After all, you are in a steady relationship. Insecurities will no longer be an issue since you will know you have someone that loves and appreciates you. You will also be better at appreciating the stability of the relationship.

Improves your sexiness quotient

If you flirt, you are likely to up your sexiness quotient. This is a buildup of positive energy. As long as the energy is used to build your relationship or marriage, there is nothing wrong with a little flirting.Make sure you try to flirt with your partner. It will help you remember the time when you started dating and started to get to know each other.


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Build or strengthens relationships

If you have ever flirted with a stranger when you are single, you start to appreciate what you have when you flirt in your relationship.The reason being you do not have to follow the process that comes after flirting since you will be doing this within the relationship. A professor by the name Steve Gimbel from Gettysburg College stated that sparring is to boxing what flirting is to romance.

Keeps you alert

It is normal for people who have been in a relationship for long to start taking advantage of each other. At the same time, you may also take yourself for granted. Flirting can offer the spark required to motivate you to change jobs, join a new hobby class, lose weight or even start dressing up. After all, you will appreciate yourself more when you feel good.

When a relationship is healthy, flirting brings the couple closer together. For people who are looking to start a new relationship, flirting can be the beginning of their courting process. Just remember to enjoy the positive energy from a flirt and enjoy yourself.

Reduction in stress levels

It feels good to make someone feel good about themselves. Flirting will remind you that you can still have fun, joke around and laugh with your partner. When you flirt, you keep your relationship alive and growing.

When there is strife in a relationship, there will be a huge impact on emotional health. It has a direct impact and reduces stress in your relationship and has a negative effect on your stress levels. When we have reduced stress in our family it is easier to handle with external stress.

Flirting brings you closer

When you flirt with your partner, it will bring both of you together. It will try to remind your spouse or partner they are beautiful or handsome, whether humor, intelligence or personality.

Flirting is, therefore, the perfect tool to use as a reminder to your spouse and you of each other’s positive qualities. It assists bring those butterflies back into a relationship. This is the time when you thought your partner is the best and would never do anything wrong.


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Keeps the relationship alive

A couple that flirts will add an extra spice to their relationship. This is better than assuming the relationship is moving in a positive direction. There is a marriage therapist who insists that flirting within a relationship is a very key factor in keeping the spark alive.

For example, you can opt to listen to listen to different discussions on long-term relationships or marriage. This can help you know how to keep the relationship healthy.

In Flirt Coach by Peta Heskell, the author recommended that a couple should treat each other like dogs. How does your dog greet you? Every time you come home, you will find that your dog will always greet you happily unless it is not feeling well.

This greeting will be consistent for many years. The main problem with couples is that once they have decided they are going to have a long-term relationship, they decide to behave like acquaintances in that they acknowledge the presence of the other without any excitement.

Increases interest

In a long-term relationship, it is normal for a couple to lose interest in each other. Since you know your partner will always be there, you may lose interest in them. Flirting helps you feel like you have just met.

This means that you will be keen on your partner and always be interested in what they need. When you flirt, you will automatically have a genuine interest in your partner.

At the same time, you will find yourself being a reminder of the things that are interested in. This way, you can rejuvenate your relationship and revive the relationship.

Helps You maintain Your looks

When you flirt with your partner, you will discover that you will start taking a closer look at your appearance. This is especially the case for women. Normally, women tend to neglect their looks once they are in a long-term relationship. This, in turn, may make the man start losing interest in them.

However, when a couple starts flirting, each partner will take the time to do hair and make-up. At the same time, the other partner will start appreciating their partner more and will be reminded of how they were when they were dating.

 Reasons Why Flirting Is Important To Relationships

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Revives dates

Flirting will revive your dating. For example, when you flirt, you will need to go out on a date. In most cases, couples who are in a long-term relationship do not go out on dates as they did when they were dating.

Since flirting is usually done in a restaurant, club or other social places, it will remind you to start going out for dinner, lunch or even coffee. Therefore, make sure you flirt as often as possible.


Flirting will ensure you always appreciate your partner. How is this possible? Basically, when you flirt, part of the process is making the other party feel good.This means that you will endeavor to make your partner feel better about themselves. In the process, you will inevitably appreciate them.

Emotional high

A relationship has its ups and downs. However, a long-term relationship may seem predictable and boring. This is attributed to the fact that you will know your partner to the point that you can predict what they will do in any given situation.

As a result, you may not be as happy and excited as you were when you were dating. An emotional high can be achieved when light-hearted and relaxed conversations occur.

Being flirtatious and teasing your partner will make your nights more fun and far more interesting. The emotional high from flirting makes the relationship exciting and boredom factor is removed.

Studies show that flirting is important to relationships even when the relationship has been ongoing for years; that is because it makes the couple feel good about themselves, their partner, and the relationship in general. Why is flirting important to relationships?

It keeps a little sizzle going and makes you feel great, sexy, and wanted. So the next time you are enduring a boring-but-necessary business event or sitting through your niece’s graduation party or getting ready to go to the grocery store, remember why flirting is important to relationships and give your spouse or significant other a little pinch on the butt or a quick little wink of the eye.

Trust me, it will work wonders and bring a little spice to your love life.


David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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