Are you in search of some free marriage counseling advice? Have you spent many long days in the empty silence of your house? Do you stress about how many more nights you’ll have to spend alone?
Every marriage goes through a rough patch, but when that patch starts to grow, something needs to be fixed.
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Research shows that nearly 50% of marriages in the United States end up in divorce. However, you can save your marriage by following the 7 free marriage counseling tips provided in this article.
1. Be Open About Your Problems
The problem most couples face is when they have differences, they start avoiding each other, or they just argue without resolving anything.
There may be times when you’re in the same room, but you won’t speak to each other for fear that it might lead to an argument. Or you’ll just assume that your problems will magically solve themselves overnight.
The key to solving your marriage problems is to be open about them. Once you’ve established that something needs to be fixed, adopt a positive mindset.
Don’t get into a conversation with the impression that you’re preparing for war on the battlefield. Bringing your spouse down won’t solve your problems. Rather than focusing on who started it, or whose fault it was, focus on how you can repair the rifts in your marriage.
If you feel like your problems are too big and too deep to be resolved on your own, seek help. Sign up for Mort Fertel 7 free marriage newsletters that have helped save thousands of marriages.
2. Decrease the Distance
When your marriage is in trouble, emotional and physical intimacy go right out the door. No matter how small the issue may be, it’ll be inflated because it will get in the way of everything.
Eventually, you’ll stop talking to your spouse about the good that happened in your life, the bad, something that made you happy, something that made you cry.
You’ll start ignoring each other so much, the idea of any sort of physical contact will be completely unfathomable.
The smallest of gestures can help you overcome the biggest hurdles. A kiss on the cheek. A reassuring hand on the shoulder. Start with anything. Let your spouse know that you’re ready to start the healing process.
It won’t solve all your marriage problems instantly, but it’s a solid start. Share the same bed. Share your thoughts and emotions with them. Seek emotional and sexual comfort only with them.
3. Make a Positive Gesture
If your differences have grown over time, you might have resorted to trying to make life inconvenient for your spouse. You may leave your dirty laundry lying around the house, or “forget” to pay a utility bill that was supposed to be your job.
Rather than being petty, do something nice. A slice of strawberry cheesecake. A single red rose. An old love letter from high school. When you start wondering why you’re still with your spouse, it’s a good idea to give yourself and them a reminder.
You don’t need to buy them a car to show your love. A small gift-something to remind them of perhaps, your first meeting or the day you realized you’d spend your entire lives with each other- will do the trick. For more free marriage counseling tips, follow this link www.MortFertel.com/Audio-Program.
4. Prioritize Your Marriage
When your marriage starts choking you, you’re likely to pretend as if you’re not married at all. You’ll make plans with friends, go on long business trips alone, eat meals on your own.
Unknowingly, you become strangers living under the same roof. Even the activities that you did together will either be neglected or done alone.
If you want the solution to your marriage problems, don’t separate your lives. If you went bowling every Friday night before, start doing that again.
The reason you got married was so that you’d share your lives, not just coexist. Have dinner together. Talk about your day. Make plans for any upcoming holidays. Look for the mutual ground to reconnect with your spouse.
5. Make the First Move
Remember, you wouldn’t be married if it wasn’t for one of you making the first move. If both of you kept sitting in your own corners, you wouldn’t be together. Don’t let your ego get in the way of saving your marriage.
Show your spouse that you want to move past your differences. Make them breakfast, slip some chocolate in their work bag (unless they’re diabetic of course).
Inspire them to adopt a positive attitude as well so both of you can start rebuilding your marriage. If you’re both driven to fix things, you can also seek free marriage counseling advice at www.MortFertel.com/Marriage-Tele-Boot-Camp.
6. Spread Love, Not Hate free marriage counseling tips can assist you
This probably reminded you of some cheesy love songs you probably listened to when you were young and in love. Rather than waking up, thinking of everything that’s wrong with your marriage, think of what’s right and think of what can be fixed.
After all, there must be SOME reason why you’re still here and haven’t left yet. Try and think of those. Deep down, you know you still love your spouse. Deep down, you at least think that they love you too.
Make a list of everything you love about your spouse. Whether it’s their fabulous hair, their angelic smile, or their generous and kind heart, write it all down.
Give yourself enough reasons to block out all the new things that have started irritating you about them. Rather than focusing on how they always leave their dirty coffee mug in the sink, remember how they always carry extra treats for stray dogs on the road.
7. Don’t Expect Complete Bliss
Marriage isn’t really a walk in the park. There might be days where you’re completely smitten with each other and others where you don’t mind a little space. But don’t expect those love-struck days to happen every day.
On the other hand, don’t get used to the days when you a little “alone time”. If you’re spending too much time away from your spouse, something is definitely wrong.
If you’ve started enjoying your time without them, it’s time for a change. Start looking forward to being in their company. Whether it’s just having dinner in front of the TV or meeting some old friends for drinks, share your activities.
Everyone has a different relationship with their spouse. Some have more passionate ones, where they may argue and fight a lot, but then they also make up immediately. Others may prefer the quiet life: not too much love, but no dislike or distress either.
Just be careful to know which direction your marriage is headed in. if you’re fighting too much, it’s a problem. If you’re not talking at all, it’s a problem.
Are you facing any marital difficulties, you can use any of these methods to try and revive the love in your relationship.
is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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