12 Proven Ways To Find And Keep A Boyfriend

By David Small •  Updated: 01/29/18 •  11 min read

Men come in all shapes, types, colors, and sizes. With so many out there, it can be a very difficult task for a woman to find the ideal boyfriend. There is simply too much information in books and across the internet on the rules for finding and keeping the ideal man.

Ways To Find And Keep A Boyfriend

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If you are looking for a man to settle down with, this resource sifts through the confusion and informs you how to find and keep a boyfriend. In the end, you will realize that the ideal candidate is not as far away from you as you have always imagined.

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  1. Establish what you need in a boyfriend

Many girls remain single not because there are no men in their circles.  They remain single because they do not know what they want in a man. In her book Date Like a Girl Marry Like a Woman: The Polished Women’s Guide to Love, Marriage, and Sex, Jessica R. Bunevacz writes that girls should find love among their closest friends.

Are you looking for a short-term affair or a relationship that leads to lifelong companionship? Let the man know your intentions from the very beginning to avoid being disappointed or disappointing him midway. Jessica incorporates her own experiences in dating, love, marriage, and sex to serve you with ready tips for getting prepared for the journey.

Know your principles from the onset and do not settle for less. Women often end up in abusive or unfaithful relationships because they got into them in a hurry. Note that you will do little to change the person once you have settled down. This is especially true when you sire his children.

  1. Be an interesting and an extraordinary person

The reason a man will be interested in you is that you stand out from the crowd in his eyes. Your ideal mate should also be looking for love. How different are you from all the single women in the world? What unique attributes do you possess? You do not need to break the bank or in the world’s top beauty pageant to be extraordinary.

In his groundbreaking book The Social Tigress: Dating Advice for Women to Attract Men and Get a Boyfriend, Gregg Michaelsen advice you to strike your confidence and avoid looking desperate. No matter how good looking you are, men do not like women who lack self-esteem and self-confidence.

Being extraordinary means having an exciting persona. For example, go out for adventurous excursions outside your city or town. You will mingle with men and hopefully find a boyfriend who enjoys the same extraordinary things that interest you.

  1. Do not pretend

Pretense in dating is perhaps the most common cause of fights when couples settle down in marriage. After all, you can only pretend for so long. Once you have your boyfriend, your old undesirable self-comes back in, prompting him to leave. You might get a one-night stand with pretense, but not a long-term relationship or marriage.

In the book, “The Irresistible Woman, Eric Monroe gives you the do’s and Don’ts of dating. The pretense is one of the major Don’ts discussed herein. You are advised to wear the normal clothes that a normal girl would wear. A man can easily notice when you are pretending to be someone else and he will leave you that very moment.

Eric is a relationship expert, having successfully assisted numerous girls and women find love. He is also famous for helping people who have been mistreated or heartbroken in the past, regain their self-esteem and confidence to achieve a caring and loving lifelong partner.


photo by Anastasiga Lobonovskaya

  1. Know what men want in women

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men” is a best-selling book authored by Shaunti Feldhahn. It discusses the inner-most feelings, needs and wants of men. It helps you sift through the many potential mates in your circles so you can settle on the most appropriate boyfriend.

Most men do not say their deepest inhibitions for fear of being misunderstood. If you think that you know men, you have just scratched the surface. Dig deeper to know their ambitions and aspirations as well as their fears and anxieties. Learn what your potential boyfriend wants to do with his life and decide whether your dreams are compatible with his.

Date men knowing that they are humans and that their hearts are not made of stone. They may not look like it, but some men’s emotions are deeper than you have ever imagined. Search his heart especially if he has been heartbroken, mistreated or disappointed in the past.

  1. Forget the old myths of dating

So your ultimate dream is to find a tall, dark and handsome prince who will buy you flowers every day? Cut all that crap and many other myths about the ideal partner. You can find the most handsome boyfriend, alright: but will you keep him for yourself forever? Chances are that he will not last long and you will not even enjoy the short relationship.

Marina Sbrochi is an author who advises you to find the love of your life and not just your ideal husband. In the book Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life”, Marina opines that husbands do not come ready-made. You have to pick a prospective person and make him your boyfriend.

Forget the fairytale of finding someone who earns a 6-figure salary, settle down and have 2 perfect kids and live in the leafy suburbs. The world is today more competitive than that. While there is nothing wrong with being ambitious, be realistic when looking for a boyfriend so that you don’t get disillusioned when your dreams are unmet.

  1. Seduce, tempt and make him lust for you

If you want to grab the attention of your ideal man, you will not succeed by asking him outright to be your boyfriend. Instead, develop his lust and passion for you slowly yet surely.  Eric Monroe through his book “The Temptress’s Handbookteaches you the dirty and naughty tricks and tips for seducing your man to lust for you.

Passion and lust are things that you must keep alive in your relationship. Finding a man is one thing, and keeping him is entirely a different ball game. Women who keep their men for a long time have mastered the art and science of keeping the passions of their boyfriend fresh and tempting.

Apart from satisfying his needs, keeping your eyes on your man takes out your deepest feminine attributes and keeps you desirable forever. When the right level of craving is ever present, your man will not stray even for a minute.


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  1. Put him on trial before saying yes

Most men will not turn down the opportunity to get in between the sheets with a woman. In fact, a good percentage of men only need to get between your legs. Do not commit yourself to sexual relations with a man unless you are sure he will stay after getting it. Try sleeping with him in the same house or bed without having sex.

Bruce Bryans, the author of How to Get a Man Without Getting Played asks women looking for boyfriends to set their standards first. This way, you will get rid of people who will waste your time and never really offer any substantial benefit.

Learn to make your ideal person crave for you, but still, respect your ideas. You can easily make a man go wild with sustainable desire by remaining true to your principles. If he gives up and fails the test, rest assured that he is a good riddance.

  1. Take good care of yourself

Are you looking for the boyfriend who is well built complete with a six-pack and a macho look? The good news is that they are available. The only problem is that they are not meant for everyone. If you take great care of your body, your ideal man will chase you down. Simply put, a man does not need or want a woman who is careless with her shape, weight, and looks.

  1. W. Hunter, the author of The 3 Kinds of Women Men are Attracted to reckons that a man finds attraction in women who make the effort to keep fit, work out or diet carefully. Nobody wants to settle down with an obese girlfriend who eats all the junk. Your ideal man sees his future children in your shape, to ensure that it is visually appealing.

Taking care of yourself involves grooming and keeping your house clean, no matter how modest it may be. In addition, an attractive girl is one who respects other people. The girl who works hard in a modest job will perhaps find and keep a gentleman better than the one who hops from one nightclub to another.

  1. Do not be too available

It is good to spend time with your prospective boyfriend so you can know each other well. However, avoid calling him all the time and sending all sorts of SMS messages that could annoy, meddle or distract him from working. Know how to strike a comfortable balance between being too available and being away from him.

One phone call is enough for the day. A little cute message at the end of the day will cause him thinking of you all night long. Women who are too available often pass off as desperate and too demanding. Eric Monroe is the author of Make Him Desperate to be Yours Forever”.This is a 3-step approach that you could use to land the man of your dreams.

Eric discusses in detail, the secret signs of a man that tells you he is the right. Learn how to banish any crazy or doubtful thoughts off his mind. More importantly, know how to flaunt your natural beauty, admiration to seduce him to love, need and want you.

  1. Ask the right questions

This tip is similar to the one that we discussed earlier on being interesting and extraordinary. Do not ask the same old questions that you know women ask. Instead of asking what kind of job he does, ask him what extraordinary outdoor activity he wants to participate in. Having a unique conversation helps him know that you are unique.

This is one of the 7 irresistible attributes of a woman that men crave. Bruce Bryans, in his book “The 7 Irresistible Qualities Men Want in a Woman is very forthright about a woman’s uniqueness. If you exude high wit, character, and intelligence, your boyfriend will be so attracted to you that he won’t see other ladies on the side.

Find And Keep A Boyfriend

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  1. Focus on him and not always on yourself

Selfishness or self-centeredness is among the top turnoffs than men find in women. It is good to be selfless at times when you are dating. If he asks you to go out with him while you had already arranged a different commitment, cancel it and go out with him. Let him know that you canceled an important undertaking because you value your time together.

Bruce Bryan’s book Never Chase Men Again consists of 38 dating tricks for you to find the perfect man, keep him interested in you and live a happy life. Go to his place when he asks, visit him at his workplace and know as much about him as possible. Once in a while, surprise him with a gift that you know he will absolutely love. This makes him know that you care for him.

  1. Be submissive to him

The world is in love with the alpha female because she is modern, sharp, assertive and possesses many other quintessential qualities. Don’t we all admire successful girls and women who are in full control of their lives? Chances are that the alpha female will become an alpha wife or simply put, the boss. The bad news is that no man wants a boss for a wife!

Suzanne Venker, author of The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men and Marriage suggests that the divorce rate in America is four times what it used to be in the 1970s. This is because women have been given more control of their lives with many of them shunning their traditionally feminine duties in the house.



David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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