A good relationship with her man is what every lady wishes for. You know, that feeling of knowing the man you love loves you back. Even more fulfilling is knowing he loves you more and can do anything for you. Your world feels complete. Everything is just perfect, just because of love.
Love is a beautiful thing, well – true love. When you find it, it’s like finding a goldmine; you feel you’re made for the rest of your life. Everything begins to make sense. Life becomes more colorful. Your face sparkles with enthusiasm and zest for life. People might not understand why you’re so happy – only time will reveal it.
This, however, is only a fantasy if you don’t know how to maintain a good relationship with your man. It’s one thing to find love, it’s another thing to do all it takes to keep it. Below are 17 Tips For good Relationship With Your Man:
Make sure you focus on each other’s strengths and not your flaws
One major problem with us humans is that, when we get used to something, we begin to abuse it. So are relationships. When we get used to our partners, perhaps, because we know their flaws, we tend to begin to look down on them. This eventually kills our passion towards them and ultimately affects the relationship in the long run.
If you must maintain a good relationship with your man, you must realize that, like every other human, he has his flaws (and so do you). So, shift your focus; instead of focusing on his flaws, focus rather on his strengths; the ability to make you laugh, his passion for life, and plans for your future. Don’t forget we all have our personal demons to fight.
Always keep it fresh, like it’s the first time
Remember how it felt that first time you guys fell in love? It was like you were reborn; the whole world felt new, you couldn’t stop smiling – heck, not even in the toilet. If you must maintain a good relationship, you need to keep those memories fresh. Even better would be to recreate those memories as often as you can or rather make it a permanent habit. You need to keep that first passion alive as long as you’re together.
One easy way to start again (in case you’ve forgotten) would be to write down those feelings and what led to them. What were you guys found of doing? How were you guys treating each other? Where did you guys visit? These things will rekindle that passion again and help sustain your relationship for the long term.
Don’t be boring
This is the rule of thumb for maintaining a good relationship – don’t be boring, not for a second! You know, we’re often caught up with the norm; doing things a particular way all the time, asking same questions all the time, going to the same places all the time; how boring! Why not get creative with your spouse?
For instance, instead of always asking him ‘how was your day?’ and getting the same old answer ‘fine, yours?’ How about asking ‘tell me about the presentation today’ or ‘did it give you a hard time?’ or ‘tell me what made you laugh and want to cry today’. See, those questions address a personal side to the whole thing. It shows how deeply interested you are in their business, as opposed to asking just how their day went.
Never hide how you feel
Not for a second! If you feel angry, let him know. If you feel horny, let him know. One thing with hiding your emotions is that it piles up into negative emotions that become very dangerous and may cause an explosion of negativity that might lead to a breakup in the long run.
Show it as you feel inside. Learn to express yourself. Don’t be scared of doing so. If he truly loves you, expressing yourself as you feel will only rekindle his love for you. He’d love you for who you are. Never for a second should you pretend to be fine when you’re not. Scrap the famous ‘I’m fine’ (when you’re obviously not) out of your dictionary and start expressing your true self if you must keep a healthy relationship with him.
Stay dependent and independent at the same time
Confusing, right? I know. This is what I mean; do not outsource your happiness all the time to your spouse. Yes, he should do things to make you happy, but not all the time. In fact, a lot of times, he’s going to get you pissed, but that should not change your whole approach to life and your relationship.
Healthy relationship demands that you stay happy, despite the ups and downs. Understand that you have the right to stay happy regardless of whatever is going on around you. Happiness should be a choice and not a consequence of circumstances. If you don’t understand this, you are bound to stay depressed and unloving. This, of course, will affect your relationship drastically.
Understand that little things count
Like I said earlier, when we get used to someone, we take a lot of things for granted. For instance, we sometimes fail to keep to our words on the basis that they will understand. If you tell him you will make dinner, make sure dinner will be ready. If you tell him you will be at his place on Monday, don’t make excuses.
Those little things we take for granted are actually the basis for trust. You and I know how important trust is to maintain a good relationship. Little things like that eventually gravitate toward the bigger things like trust issues. Don’t take these little things for granted. Keep your word to keep your relationship.
Learn to say ‘I’m sorry’
Sometimes, saying I’m sorry doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wrong; it does mean you’re matured enough to let things go and move on. Do you value your relationship way more than the object of offense? It means you are humble enough to not let your ego get in the way of your relationship.
This is one of the toughest things to do, but if you want a good relationship, it is a must. Rough times will come, and not all those times will he be willing to admit he’s wrong. But once you take it upon yourself to say the first ‘I’m sorry’, you save the day and prove to him that you value your happiness over everything.
Give more to get more
Most times, we expect much more than we give. But the thing with life is, you get what you give, most of the times. Life is like a mirror; if you smile at it, you get a smile back, so is your relationship. Give what you want to get.
Give more love to get more love. Show more care to get more care. Give, give, and keep giving. Even when you’re not being reciprocated, keep giving with the understanding that it doesn’t always come back to you when you expect it to. This understanding is at the core of a good relationship, and this leads us to our next point.
Understand He needs some space, occasionally
Have you ever felt like you’re lonely in your relationship? Perhaps, you’re giving everything you want to receive yet, it’s not being reciprocated. John Grey in his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus talks about the man cave; a point where men hibernate for a while and tend to become uncaring and emotionless.
It doesn’t mean they do not love you anymore, it just means they need some time to clear their heads. You know, a lot of things going on in the mind of a man and coupled with his inability to multitask like women, he’s often left overwhelmed with so much, which can affect his feelings occasionally.
Keep it open; Communicate as often as possible
Yes, talk about everything including the very littlest details. Communication is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. If it must work, you have to talk to/with each other as often as possible. You have to discuss your fears, worries, and those things that get at you.
Your spouse should know you do not hide anything from him. This is very important as it builds trust and strong bonds between you that is hard to break. It keeps you guys strong and open to each other.
Get some adventure in your Relationship
This is more like a sequel to never be boring in your relationship. Adventures here could mean traveling together, visiting the museum or any other unconventional places you guys go to. One great thing about adventurous trips is that it builds solid and unforgettable memories that last a lifetime.
These memories are what keeps you guys together, even when the bond is almost shaky, the memories have a way of making you both see things in a different way. A healthy relationship thrives on awesome memories.
Become and stay best friends with your partner
Best friends understand each other more than anyone else. They know when one is down and also know exactly what to do to bring them back to their feet. They can deliberately get each other pissed only for some makeup surprises. Isn’t that amazing?
That is how a healthy relationship looks like. When you both are best friends, you see your relationship in a whole new way. You see the future even more clearly. You just know deep down that you’re meant to be together. And of course, you thrive!
Respect each other
Respect each other’s opinion. Respects each other’s space and each other as two separate human beings from different backgrounds and different approach to things. This is how to not get angry at certain actions and decisions your partner makes.
Make them know you respect their opinion and sometimes, even though it’s the wrong choice, agree to disagree. When the truth eventually pops up, he’d love you better for it.
Enter for the long-term
Most times, people go into relationships for the fun of it or just to ‘see how it goes’. The truth is, when you get into a relationship with that mindset, you seldom do anything to make it work; you remain passive and won’t even want to take any step towards making it work when there are little hiccups here and there.
A healthy relationship doesn’t just happen; it comes out of the decision to stay and grow each other into the future you both see.
Create a ‘talk-your-mind’ Routine
What is more important than helping each other grow? Nothing! This is even easier when you’re best friends; you can discuss each other’s flaws more freely and proffer solution to it at the same time. This is how to build that healthy relationship that you’ve always wanted.
It could be once a week, or twice a month. Just set out a particular time where you both meet and say-it-as-it-is! This even builds stronger bonds as it helps you appreciate each other the more.
Be appreciative of his gifts and give gifts, too
Most times, we get caught up with the mindset that gifting is his responsibility so it doesn’t matter whether we appreciate him or not. Well, appreciation is the same for everything. It has the same effect on everyone; it makes him want to do more.
On the other hand, relationships are not a one-man show; you need to give him gifts as well. Surprise him every so often and you’d see having that good relationship isn’t as hard as it looks like.
Yes! Be thyself. This is one of the age-old sayings that would forever stay relevant. Nobody likes to be with a fake person. And trust me, being fake is quite easy to notice. You can only be fake for a while; time will reveal you’re true nature.
Think of it this way; why would you want to be fake to the person you want to be with? Does it make sense? Why not allow him to fall in love with the real you? Life is too short to alternate between two different personalities, so it’s better you remain yourself and find that person who truly loves you for you.
So there it is. Having that good relationship is no longer a dream. These little tweaks could make all the difference in the world. I’d like to close with this quote from Lisa Kleypas of Blue-Eyed Devil.
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
Images courtesy of marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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