Do You Ever Fully Recover From A Broken Heart?

By David Small •  Updated: 10/06/20 •  11 min read


Recover From A Broken Heart?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

The question of whether you can ever fully recover from a broken heart is one that doesn’t have a simple answer. That’s because people heal from a broken heart differently. While some eventually find full recovery, others have to wait for a long to get over a heartbreak.

To say the truth, forgetting an ex can be a daunting task, especially if you have a wounded heart. Somehow, it would help if you found a way to move on. You must soldier on and learn to love again.

The problem with some people is projecting the bad feelings they have about their ex in others. That’s dangerous since it puts you at the risk of having another romantic relationship. This article shall address the likelihood of a full recovery in detail and even show you how you can attain it.

Recover from a broken heart

What is a Broken Heart?

A broken heart (or heartache/heartbreak) refers to the intense emotional pain and stress one feels after losing a romantic relationship. It may persist for a while, especially the first few days after a breakup, but wane with time. A broken heart leads to broken heart syndrome, which is its physical manifestation in its severe form.

Now, here is how it happens. An individual with heartbreak experiences a surge in the number of stress hormones after parting with an ex. That leads to unexplained, intense chest pain, with symptoms comparable to those of a heart attack. Only that in this case, one doesn’t have blocked blood veins and arteries.

If you feel chest pain and have an unusually fast heartbeat, you could be suffering from broken heart syndrome. Luckily, the healing power of time is all you need to recover from a broken heart.

Why You May Never Fully Recover From a Broken Heart.

It turns out that you may never fully recover from a broken heart. According to research by professors from the University of Aberdeen, people whose heart is truly “broken” may never recover fully. In this case, we aren’t referring to the symbolic notion of a broken heart.

Instead, it is the literal broken heart or what we referred to as the broken heart syndrome. It comes (especially in women) due to severe emotional stress, such as losing a relationship.

Studies into broken heart syndrome reveal that mostly affects women and not men. In one study carried out by researchers from Harvard Health Publishing, 90 percent of the affected were women. Interestingly, the women had ages between 58 and 75 years, indicating the long-term effects of heartbreak.

Individuals with broken heart syndrome or Takotsubo cardiomyopathy often have their left ventricle weakened. Thus, the heart swells’ left chamber, assuming the shape of a Takotsubo (Japanese for a port shaped like an octopus’ head). As a result, it cannot pump blood as expected, and one may have symptoms like those of a broken heart.

Researchers at the University of Aberdeen sought to disapprove of the widely held view that broken heart syndrome is reversible. After researching patients with the syndrome for two years, they established that some got fatigued easily.

Their hearts had scar tissues and were comparable to heart attack patients in terms of survival rates. So, they recommended that doctors follow up on patients with Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy.

Also Related: 12 Proven Things That Will Heal A Broken Heart.

How Do You Fully Recover From A Broken Heart?

It’s reasonable to expect full recovery from a broken heart. It may take only a short time for some people, while others may have to wait for a long time.

Regardless of which group you belong to, it’s possible to accelerate the heart recovery process. The following tips should help you to recover from a broken heart and even find love once more.

  1. Grieving Is Healthy

While grief might not be the same for everyone, you should take time to feel all the guilt, loneliness, anger, and sadness. These are the views of author Dennis Palumbo, an accomplished novelist, and screenwriter.

Trying to suppress negative emotions can be detrimental to the healing process. Also, grieving can expose your feelings to others and allow them to join you in it.

  1. Revel in Self-Care

After the loss of a relationship, you have no one else to take care of you. Even if your ex offered support, you would likely reject it to preserve your sense of pride. So, you have no option but to take care of yourself.

Try to recover from a broken heart through simple activities like exercising, meditation, and deep breathing. However, it doesn’t mean trying too hard. Simple things like eating healthy food and having plenty of water would go a long way.

  1. Let Others Know What You Need

As you grieve over a broken marriage, the people you interact with may enhance or prevent your success. So, let those around you know how you cope with loss. Do you want to be alone, or would you prefer some company?

According to psychologist Kristen Carpenter, learning how to go about it can make a huge difference. If you like, you could even ask your social networks for help during the grief period.

  1. Write Your Needs on Paper

To fully recover from a broken heart, you should put your needs in writing. Put everything on paper, including your physical and emotional needs. It could be anything as simple as grocery shopping, the need to talk to someone, and trimming the hedge.

Please put each of these items on a notecard. If a friend asks how she can help, give them the stack of cards so that they can choose how to help you.

Broken Heart?

Photo by Nick Herasimenka on Unsplash

  1. Venture into the Outdoors

The outdoors can help heal you both physically and mentally. According to one study, spending at least two hours a week in the outdoors is right for your health. That means going on a hike or sightseeing can help you recover from a broken heart.

If you cannot take a stroll on a Saturday afternoon, then you should walk around your neighborhood at least once a day. Even if the duration of the walk is only 15 minutes, it will cumulatively help you move on after a breakup.

  1. Self-Help Books Can Help

When experts prescribe all forms of DIY strategies in today’s world, it helps to read self-help books. If you can’t find one, then listen to educative podcasts to help you feel less lonely. Books and podcasts not only provide solutions but also give validation to some of your emotional experiences.

Besides, they also offer a distraction from grappling with what could have been if the relationship was held. Thus, instead of thinking about your ex, you can spend an hour or two reading an uplifting book. A good example is Learning How to Heal a Broken Heart by Marvin Scholz.

  1. Do What Makes You Feel Good

What’s your hobby? What things make you feel positive about yourself? Once you know these things, take time to indulge in them.

It could be going to the movies, meeting a friend, writing a blog, or painting. It doesn’t matter. Set aside a few hours a day to immerse yourself in an activity that makes you happy, and you will heal.

  1. Get Professional Help

As much as you have a support system, it would help if you had someone with the training and experience to help you. Talking to a professional counselor provides an opportunity to express what you are feeling.

Luckily, you should find a qualified mental health professional who is willing to offer help. So, schedule a session or two and discover coping tools that could help you overcome a relationship’s loss.

  1. Avoid Trying To Suppress the Pain

Feeling guilty and ashamed are two of the most energy-draining indulgences. So, why waste your energy on negative things that avail no progress. You should heed advice from Siri J. Carpenter and invest your energy towards healing and feeling better.

So, take 10 to 15 minutes a day to go through the pain. During that time, you should acknowledge your sadness and feel it. After that, you are likely to experience less of it for the rest of the day.

Also Related: Your Boyfriend is asking for a Break…, now what?

  1. Try Some Self-Compassion

You are self-compassionate if you treat yourself with respect and love. In the same light, you should avoid judging yourself.

If a family member was going through the same, what treatment would you give to him or her? Would you say anything to them? What would that be? In what way would you support and care for them? Once you have the answers, you can apply them to yourself.

Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash

  1. Build New Traditions

After years in a relationship, you are likely to have developed strong customs, rituals, and traditions. Thus, coping with the loss can be challenging, especially during holidays and other special occasions.

However, with the help of friends and family, you can create entirely new memories and traditions. All you need is to solicit the necessary support from those closest to you.

  1. Leave Space In Between Activities

To cope with emotional stress, some people take onto a lot of activities. Subconsciously, they are trying to distract themselves from the reality of the broken relationship. Of course, that can help you recover from a broken heart.

However, it helps to leave some space between activities to process feelings and have downtime. In that interval, you may participate in mindfulness activities to foster quick recovery.

  1. Join a Support Group

You aren’t the only one suffering from a broken heart. Therefore, you will find several support groups created solely for people like you if you look online. Join one of these groups for a safe environment for coping with your loss.

Here, you can listen to and share your feelings with people with issues like yours. As you give support to others, you will begin to feel you aren’t alone on this. Eventually, your pain will lessen and become easier to handle.

  1. Rediscover Yourself

After losing a relationship, one tends to feel less sure of themselves and who they are. That can drive you into the dark chambers of depression, leaving you emotionally exposed.

However, you can rediscover yourself by reconnecting with your body through exercise, working on your spirituality, and watching nature. The purpose of this is to relearn who you are. In the end, you will discover you cannot be defined by a relationship or lack of it. Even better, it will be easier for you to move on after a heartbreak.

  1. Accept the Validity of Your Experience

When you break up with a loved one, you cannot avoid but go through grief. According to Palumbo, that kind of grief is more covert than that of a family member’s death. Yet, the emotional and physical effects remain the save.

So, he suggests that you learn to validate your feelings as genuine. Just because a loved one hasn’t died does not mean you are less sad. Once you recognize the impact of the loss on your life, you will begin the slow but sure healing process.

  1. Seek To Accept Yourself

The problem with most couples is that they expect the suffering from heartbreak to go away soon. That’s a mistake as it could mean you are bottling up emotions instead of releasing them.

The best way to recover from a broken heart is to accept the new reality and accept to take time before you heal. Otherwise, you will end up a frustrated, jilted lover who cannot move on with life. Finding a new lover would be a challenge you cannot manage.


Yes. You can fully recover from a broken heart. However, the sooner that happens depends on what you do as an individual.

By taking the strategies advanced above, you should be able to recover from a broken heart pretty soon. Yet you shouldn’t expect a miracle. Bid your time, do the right things, and you will soon be back in the dating scene.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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