You have just lost the significant other in your life and you just cannot get over the feeling of frustration. The good thing is that, with the right measures, you can easily get your ex back.
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As such, a simple, purposeful text message can get you far. It could be the weapon you need to win back the love and trust of your ex. A simple text message can go a long way in reminding your ex what you could be having together.
But just how do you send a text message to your ex without risking even wider rifts in the relationship? According to Teagan Hunter in ‘Let’s Get Textual’, texting needs to be done right.
If not, then it could complicate things to the extent of making it harder for the two of you to get back together. In this piece, we show you the tricks you may use when texting your ex.
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What to Do To Get Your Ex Back
Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect strategy to get your ex back. Besides relationships being unique, the reasons for the breakup are never homogenous. Yet there’s a lot you can do to get your ex back regardless of whether you using text messaging or not. It involves using what’s known as ‘The No Contact Rule’.
While it may be tempting to stay in contact with your ex, it is good to avoid doing so for some time. For many, avoiding all forms of contact may not sound logical. But if you really want to get back your ex, then you should observe this rule to the letter.
According to ‘Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy’ by Leslie Braswell, you ought to avoid contacting your ex in any way. For between 21 and 45 days after the breakup, avoid sending talking, texting, emailing or meeting your ex. How long you can wait will depend on you. The important thing is that you need a break from each other.
What if you miss your ex so much so that you cannot avoid contacting them? It doesn’t matter. Don’t contact them until you are sure you are ready to do so. Even though he or she may contact you, it doesn’t mean you have to reply.
But just what’s the point in avoiding contact with your ex for some time? Well, it’s all due to a concept known as ‘reactance’. It works in a very simple way. Pressuring an individual to do something almost always ends up triggering the exact opposite reaction.
In other words, putting too much pressure on your ex by sending one text message after the other is wrong. Instead of getting him or her to be attracted to you, it will only push him away.
Say you started to contact your ex soon after the breakup. In that case, he or she will know without a doubt that you still have an interest in the relationship. Shelly K. Wall in her book, ‘Text Me’ says, “your ex may even think that you are desperate to have him or her back”.
The opposite happens when you take some time before contacting your ex. With time, he or she would begin to wonder whether you are already thinking about moving on. Who knows, he or she could just be the one initiating contact? After that, it should be natural to send a text message after another.
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Why You Should Send That Text Message to Your Ex
No need to say it again, that simple text message could be what you need to win back your ex. But you cannot send out just any text message. This is probably the first time you are contacting your ex in a long time.
Make your text message special and you will be able to quickly graduate to phone calls and even a date. As B. Cici says in ‘Letters to My EX’, all you need to do is to follow the basics of texting. As such, you should aim at making your ex to look forward to the next text message from you.
In the end, you should be able to make your ex to have the desire to take the relationship to the next level. Whatever you do, every text message needs to trigger a positive reaction from your ex. By all means, avoid sending out a negative text message. You will ruin your chances of getting back together if you have a lot of negativity in your text messages.
Mistakes to Avoid When Trying To Get Your Ex Back by Text Message
To be able to get your ex back by text message, it is important to know the things to avoid. If you are careless about it, you may end up complicating your chances of finally getting back together. Here are the mistakes you should avoid when trying to get your ex back via text message:
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Master the skills to Build A Stronger Relationship
Avoid Sending Text Messages Full Of Hatred
Breakups can be painful and messy. It is understandable if you end up with mixed emotions soon after the breakup. In most cases, you may not even be able to think clearly. The more the negative feelings you have, the more you will end up blaming your ex for the breakup.
As much as feeling emotional us understandable, venting everything on your ex isn’t. If you send a text message full of hatred, it will be hard for you to get your ex back. While it’s normal to be emotional and angry after a breakup, dwelling too much on it won’t help.
Since you cannot change what has already happened, there is no need to go blaming your ex for it. If you get into that emotional vicious circle, you could end up pushing him or her further away.
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Do Not Send Too Many Texts
Due to the emotional fluctuations that happen after a breakup, you could end up sending hundreds of texts to your ex. That’s not right. While you could be having the right intentions, you could end up annoying him or her even more. So send one text message at a time.
If you send out too many of them, it would seem like you are trying to spam them. In the end, your ex would begin to feel sorry for you. If anything, you will come out as a desperate, unstable individual. Since you don’t seem to have a tinge of self-respect, you may end up validating your ex’s decision to break up with you.
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Avoid Texts with Negative Emotions
It would be a huge mistake to send a text message full of emotions and negativity. That would only give you out as pathetically needy. With that, your ex will begin to see you as unattractive. While your intention could be to show how sweet and caring you are, emotional messages will expose you as needy.
As Anton Robbins advises in ‘Get Your Ex Back: 200 Text Messages Your EX Would Love To Receive: How To Get Your EX Back By Sending Text Messages ’, you ought to make your texts light, positive, and interesting. That’s all your ex needs to be happy and positive. As he or she gets reminded of the good times you shared, your ex will definitely start wanting to get you back.
Related Article: 50 Cute Things to Text Your Boyfriend
Types of Texts That Can Get You Back Together With Your Ex
Before sending the first text message, first ensure that you neutralize your emotions. You don’t want to send texts full of negative emotions. In order to get him or her back, you need to leave your ex with a positive impression on your intentions.
The worst you can do is to desperately demand that your ex gets back together with you. As Lynda Evans says in ‘Romantic Text Messages for Him: Tiny Texts to Light or Reignite the Spark’ you need to give it time. One text message after another, you will be able to bring back the connection you once had with your ex.
By taking it slow, the results you desire will come steadily and surely. But you have to exercise a lot of patience and have realistic expectations, as well. The following are some of the text message types you could try to win back your ex:
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Interesting Text Message
The best text message to send to your ex is one that arouses interest and makes him or her happy. Definitely, this isn’t the time to send boring text messages. In ‘124 Sexting Examples: Shamelessly Sexy Text Messages Guaranteed to Make Your Man Throb ’, Autumn Scott says “you need to make it a little bit more fun and interesting”.
The purpose is for the text message to create a positive vibe in your ex with the aim of making him or her yours. The more you make your ex feel happy, the higher the chances that he or she will reply to your texts.
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A Reminder of the Good Times
The fact that you broke up doesn’t mean that you should never remember the good times you had together. If anything, reminding him or her of the good times will make your ex to long for a time together.
Despite the breakup, your ex will begin to remember how good life together with you was. Even if he or she was considering moving on, your ex may end up reconsidering their decision to leave. Who knows? Your ex may just want to get back together with you.
Find something unique, specific, and personal between you and your ex and use it. Make it something that only the two of you know and understand. You can be sure that your ex will smile every time he or she receives such a message. This should culminate in the rebuilding of the sense of unity the two of you once shared.
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The Envy Text Message
The purpose of this kind of message is to make your ex feel jealous. It is for that reason that it could turn out to be a little bit tricky. To attract your ex back to you, it is important that you learn how to use this type of message.
When a third person gets involved, the situation could become very tricky. The rift between you and your ex could either grow wider or it could make you appear more attractive. As Adele Travis says in’ Texting Women 2017: Text Messages to Get and Attract The Women’, “you should be careful when trying to make your ex feel jealous”.
If you have an extremely insecure, emotional or jealous ex, this trick isn’t going to work for you. Instead of making you more attractive, it will only multiply your problems. If you have taken a long time before contacting your ex, don’t allow this kind of text message to be your first. So try to build a positive connection between the two of you before you can send this type of text message.
Text Messaging Tips To Get Your Ex Back
Now that you know the types of text messages to avoid and the ones to use, it is time to learn some text messaging tips. After all, you need to know how correctly compose and send a text message to your ex. Here is how to go about it:
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Wait before Sending the Next Text Message
When dealing with your ex, it doesn’t help when you appear to be too available. As Anton Robbins says in ‘Save Your Relationship’, “you need to be cool, calm and collected about it. Wait long enough before you send the next text message”.
With that, you will be able to remove the notion that you are a desperate ex looking for love at all costs. Even where it is your ex who sends a message, hold on for a while before replying to it. When your ex is sure that you have a life of your own, he or she will learn to respect you more. In the initial stages, try exchanging as few messages as possible.
Related Article: How to Fix Broken Relationship With An Ex-Girlfriend
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Make Your Messages and Replies Brief
Did you know that long text messages can make you appear like a desperate attention seeker? While keeping your texts light, interesting, and positive, make them as short as possible. Lynda Evans says as much in ‘The Romantic Text Message Manual’. Only that the message shouldn’t be too short as to make you look weird or boring.
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Avoid the Drama
As much as you are angry and emotional about the breakup, you don’t have to go blaming your ex. Avoid delving into issues behind your break up and don’t ask your ex if he or she has already found someone.
Avoid creating drama just for the sake of getting sympathy, attention, and emotional support. That’s what Denise Brienne says in ‘SEXUALITY: 101 Dirty Text Messages’. The best you can achieve by sending dramatic texts is to turn him or her off.
Texts To Send Your Ex Boyfriend To Make Him Come Running Back
Text #1 – The “I’m Ok” Text Message:
— “Hey _____, I just want to let you know that I’m 100% cool with the breakup and I thought that it was a good idea. Hope we can still be friends. Talk soon.” —
This text message is great because it conveys all the right messages. For one, you’re letting him know that you were 100% okay with the breakup (you need to make him think this right now).
By saying this, you’re pretty much saying to him that you don’t really need him… and this will subconsciously drive him insane. By posing as “just a friend” right now, you start planting my patented ‘Seduction Seeds’ that will eventually cause him to start thinking about you in a sexual way again… and win him back for good. More on this in a bit.
Text #2 – The “No Communication” Text.
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one is a little advanced and you need to know exactly when to send this text… but again, you’re communicating to him that you don’t really need to talk to him. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need him to play any role in your life anymore. By doing this, you’ll send the message that you do want to “move on”… and you’ll begin tricking him into thinking that he actually lost you!
Text #3 – The “Jealousy” Text.
— “I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!” —
By saying this, you’re telling him that you’re actually dating other people right now… which will, in turn, make him jealous. This is a good thing. By saying this, you’re sub-communicating to him that you’re actually wanted by other guys. Remember, men are attracted to women that are wanted by other guys, so by saying that you’re dating around already, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss, mister!”
Remember, you can’t just simply send these texts to him and expect good results… you need to have a plan of attack, and send these messages right when he’s most likely to take them seriously… only then will he begin to feel attraction for you and induce a “fear of loss” within him.
Texts To Send Your Ex Girlfriend To Make Her Come Running Back
Text #1 – The “I’m Ok” Text Message:
— “Hey _____, I just want to let you know that I’m 100% cool with the breakup and I thought that it was a good idea. Hope we can still be friends. Talk soon.” —
This text message is great because it conveys all the right messages. For one, you’re letting her know that you were 100% okay with the breakup (you need to make her think this right now). By saying this, you’re pretty much saying to her that you don’t really need her… and this will subconsciously drive her insane.
By posing as “just a friend” right now, you start planting my patented Seduction Seeds that will eventually cause her to start thinking about you in a sexual way again… and win her back. More on this in a bit.
Related Article: How To Win Your Girlfriend Heart Back After Breakup
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Text #2 – The “No Communication” text.
— “You’re right. It’s best that we shouldn’t talk right now but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one is a little advanced and you need to know exactly when to send this text… but again, you’re communicating to her that you don’t really need to talk to her. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need her in your reality anymore. By doing this, you’ll send a message that you do want to “move on”… and you’ll begin tricking her into thinking that she actually lost you!
Text #3 – The “Jealousy” text.
— “I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!” —
By saying this, you’re telling her that you’re actually dating other people right now… which will, in turn, make her jealous. This is a good thing. By saying this, you’re sub-communicating to her that you’re actually wanted by other women.
Remember, women are attracted to men that are wanted by other women, so by saying that you’re dating around already, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss, missy!”
Remember, you can’t just simply send these texts to her and expect good results… you need to have a plan of attack and send these messages right when she’s most likely to take them seriously… only then will she begin to feel attraction for you and induce a “fear of loss” within her.
Conclusion
To get back your ex, all you need is to send a simple message. But you should be careful about the type of message you send or how you do it. Try as much as possible to avoid negativity, given that it could turn him or her off, even more.
By staying positive and interesting, you will be able to catch your ex’s attention and remind him or her of the good time you could be having together. In the end, it wouldn’t matter who was right and who wasn’t. So go for it!
