Why Am I Still In Love, While My Ex Is Not

By David Small •  Updated: 04/12/14 •  9 min read

Many have asked the same question as you “Why am I still in love with my ex while my ex is not?’’ It’s not bad if you’re still in love with your ex while your ex is not.

Though it’s hard when this happens; it happens like a tsunami, like an earthquake, like an ambush.

It makes you forget the size of things, invades your thoughts, pulls at you like hunger, fools you in your dreams and gets its fingers into everything.

Why Am I Still In Love, While My Ex Is Not

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The Why

Love makes one feel cherished, and wonderful, and needed; but sometimes we break up, and our bubble of happy bursts, leaving us embittered and crushed. Why would this person who loved you destroy your heart like a total monster?

In so many breakups, one party always suffers the most; the one that’s still in love. There are many reasons why you’re still in love with your ex while your ex is not.

Below are the reasons why you may still be in love with your ex:

Possible Reasons Why Your Ex Fall Out of Love With You

The main reason why people fall out of love is that they’re human. Yes. We are designed to fall out of love like we’re also designed to fall in love.

Aside from being humans that can fall out of love, there are many other reasons that make one fall out of love but these reasons are always personal.

One of the reasons why your ex might have falling out of love with you is, your ex-think or might have realized that you both are not right for each. In the sense that it’s their thought, they may be right or wrong.

Another reason is not being in love with you in the first place. There’s a possibility they’ve been faking it all these while.

It’s also worthy to know that when the initial excitement fades, the love may fade away too. So the reason why your ex-falls out of love with you may be because the excitement is no longer there.

Lots of things may have burned out which were not rekindled. Maybe what got your ex-attracted is gone, and what kills attraction is the inability to have fun. When all these are missing, someone must fall out of love.

Another reason is the connection between you both missing. There’s a connection that makes one fall in love with another. Whenever this connection is gone, there’s every tendency that the love wouldn’t be there again.

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The Possibility Your Ex May Still Be In Love with You

Your ex may not be entirely out of love with you; there’s every possibility your ex is still in love with you. Yes. If you are still in love with your ex, it is highly possible that they are also in love with you still.

The truth is your ex is hurt and probably confused about their feelings for you. Luckily, there are a few signs that will tell you whether or not your ex still loves you. But first, let me make it clear that these signs do not mean that your ex wants to get back together.

How to know if your ex is still in love with you:

Why Am I Still In Love

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What to Do to Get Your Ex Back in Love with You

People fall out of love then fall back in love, deeper than before. Falling in and out of love is as cyclical as the tides of the ocean. So there are possibly some measures you can take and have your ex fall back in love.  Below are the things to consider ‘to do’ if you want your ex back:

What to Avoid When Trying To Get Your Ex Back

One of the things people try to use to make their ex-feel hurt is making them feel jealous. Don’t ever try that if you really want your ex back.

Don’t ever do things that would make your ex-jealous, it will do more harm than good in your pursuit to get your ex back. You don’t really have to show off with someone new. Your ex might think that you have already moved on, or more likely that you are trying to manipulate them.

Avoid contacting your ex for at least 30 days. Whether you just got over a breakup or broke up a while ago, you still need this month for yourself; to get yourself into a headspace where you’ll be more likely to make your ex-want, to get back together with you.

Avoid threatening or blackmailing your ex. Attempts to emotional blackmail or threaten your ex that you are going to commit suicide if your ex-doesn’t take you back obviously should be avoided. You might be able to get your ex back, but the relationship would never work out.

Avoid places where your ex usually hangs out; this will help not to accidentally bump on your ex. Make your ex-wonder how you’ve been doing after the breakup and why he or she hasn’t heard from you yet.

Never you plead or beg your ex to be back. It is a very pathetic and desperate move. Who would want to get back with someone out of pity? It’s definitely not your ex.

My ex

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Why Letting Go Maybe the Best Alternative

Sometimes, it makes no sense looking or waiting for something that’s long gone already. Many times, the best thing to do is to let go and move on with life. Life has a lot to offer.  Those that refuse to let go always suffer the implication of the choice they make afterward.

If you and your ex-are not planning on getting back together, then you’re going to have to let it go. This is going to be the hardest thing you’re going to do and you’re not going to want to do it.

But, if you want to move with your life and have a future of your own, you don’t have to keep carrying this burden on you. Let it go.

Here is some practical advice:

When I realized that I was still in love, my ex still did not seem all too keen on rekindling things with me.

I figured I had two different routes that I could take: I could give up on the fact that I was still in love, my ex-coming out as the winner in the situation, or I could find some way to truly rekindle things, knowing that it would take work but would have much better potential results.

So here’s what I did:

1. First, without letting on that I was still in love, my ex and I sat down and had a conversation about what “broke down” in the relationship to create the break up in the first place.

2. Then I separated myself from my ex for a while so tempers could be calmed and so I could formulate a plan for rekindling things.

3. When I felt braver, I re-approached my ex and we started talking about rekindling things again. I was surer of myself and was more obvious about the fact that I was still in love, my ex-responded well to my confidence and we ended up rekindling things.

In conclusion,

If you find yourself still in love with your ex while your ex is not, it’s not a dead end.

It’s a situation that requires you take action; either you push to have things start rolling again with all you read in this article or you let it go and always bear it in mind that there are always people out there who are ready to love you unconditionally.

I wish you good luck with whichever choice you decide to make.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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