The 12 Ingredients for Successful Romantic Relationship

By David Small •  Updated: 06/03/19 •  9 min read

Have you ever wondered, what are the most important things for a successful romantic relationship? What is it like to having a romantic relationship, one where all days feel like never-ending?

The 12 Most Important Things In A Romantic Relationship

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You feel like you’re the only lucky couple on earth, I guess. Every couple loves that experience, too. You probably had that experience before, when you were still following the rules. But the moment you slipped off. It all changed. And now, you’re wondering what you missed. It’s simply the 12 most important things that you’re missing in your relationship.

What Are the The 12 Ingredients for Successful Romantic Relationship ?

I guess you’re starting to ask already what are the signs to know if your relationship is working or not. Before filing a divorce or finishing a relationship, here is what to do to have that romantic relationship experience back:

1. Trust

If there is one thing that is most important in building a romantic relationship, it’s trust.  Building trust isn’t as difficult as many think if you can follow the right steps. Whether you’re starting out to build trust or trying to rebuild one, Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., detailed the steps involved.

When you have a partner you can trust or who trusts you, you both enjoy your relationship. Because you will not only be free to do what you love doing, you’ll also be happy doing it.

The reverse is the case where there is no trust. Any slight mistake you make, he takes it seriously and sees it as disloyalty. And when this starts to happen, your marriage is about hitting the rock. To avert this, you should master the art of building trust from the very start of your relationship.

2.  Compromise

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “Compromise is an agreement in an argument in which the people involved reduce their demands or change their opinion in order to agree”.

In a relationship, everyone has an opinion and most times, people tend to not agree easily on everything 100%. While you may be right in your own opinion, there are times you need to change or reduce your opinion.

The bottom line is you need to learn to reach compromise with your partner to have a romantic relationship.

3.     Communication

Have you ever wondered why many relationships end up broken so early without a solution?   Have you ever wondered why many couples can’t even settle a little rift on their own without a third party? Or have you’ve ever wondered why many relationships will never taste the romantic part of it?

The answer is simple: They fail woefully at communication. They hardly share their inner thoughts or speak out their minds to each other. Or they even hardly have time to sit together and communicate as successful couples do.

You may want to ask yourself these questions: Are you having effective communication with your partner? How often do you communicate?

It doesn’t matter whether you’re just communicating. But what is the level of effective communication you are having with each other? It’s one thing to have any communication at all; it’s another thing not to have good communication.

Effective communication involves the “it takes two to tango” metaphor where both parties are mutually involved. If you’re ready to talk over a matter and your partner isn’t, you can’t achieve any communication.

So, to have a romantic relationship you need effective communication. Effective communication will help your relationship in a number of ways. These include solving a misunderstanding, setting a boundary, creating a good sexual relationship, and expressing your wants and needs.


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4.     Honesty

I can’t emphasize enough how important this is in a relationship. Earlier on I talked about trust and why it’s core in building a solid relationship. But there is one thing upon which trust is built – honesty.

If you want your partner to trust, then you should master the art of being truthful in your dealings and sayings. If your partner can’t see the truth in what you say or do, trusting you will be an impossible thing to expect.

A lot of marriages or relationships failed for lack of honesty. So, if you’re preparing to build a romantic relationship start off with honesty.

Honesty could mean a different thing to you, but the basic idea is to say exactly what you mean. And, not to pretend to be who you’re not or say what you aren’t going to do.

5.     Respect

Respect has a sort of a blend with love. No wonder many people even when they don’t like how people behave, they still stay with them.

If you really love someone you should show respect to him no matter what he does. The truth about respect is everyone loves it, and when you respect someone, you win his heart. But love shouldn’t be taken as a justification for abuse or disrespect. So, respect your partner and let him exhibit the same feeling toward you.

6.     Safety

Being safe in a marriage or relationship is a key factor in building a lasting relationship. Nobody cares about how much love you’re getting from a partner if he abuses you.  It’s even better to be safe and not be loved by your partner than having your life prone to injury or death.

So don’t let anyone hoodwink you into believing that love is above your life and safety. Get help fast from your abusive partner before it’s too late.

7.     Attention

Attention is about showing someone you’re aware of her and making her the focus of your loving attention. If you were not giving your partner this kind of treatment before, now is the right time to start.

By showing her a great level of attention, she knows you’ll listen to her deepest needs, wants, and fears. And, she feels secure and relaxed being with you.

The best way to know when you’re giving someone enough attention is by how observant of her feelings or actions, you are.

An attention giver should be able to understand someone’s needs, likes, dislikes, and fears. Once you’re able to achieve this then it means you’re giving your partner the right loving attention she needs.

8.     Tolerance

There is never a perfect or flawless relationship in life. If they’re telling you that, already. You know it’s a lie.

Every party in a relationship has his/her own weak points but learning to tolerate them is what you need. And, it’s what may make or break your own relationship. So, your chances of succeeding at building a romantic relationship hinges, among other things, on your ability to tolerate each other.

9.     Happiness

This does not needs over-stressing because you’ll agree with me it’s the number one thing in a romantic relationship. Even as important as sex is in a relationship, you can’t enjoy it if you’re in an unhappy mood.

The greatest mistake many partners make is to believe any medicine can help them have maximum sexual experience. This is far from the truth! The number one killer of sexual performance is mood.

If you’re psychologically depressed, chances are you will end up having a horrible sexual experience. But if you’re psychologically relaxed and happy, you can go as many rounds as possible without taking any pills.

In short, happiness is an essential element in building a romantic relationship.

The 12 Most Important Things In A Romantic Relationship

Photo by S A R A H ✗ S H A R P on Unsplash

10.     Acceptance

Do you feel accepted in your relationship? If you’re not feeling worthy, relaxed and safe in your relationship, it means your relationship is lacking acceptance. To be accepted means, to be looked upon with honor, compassion, and understanding, even when you don’t deserve any.

But if you’re seeing yourself as unworthy or intimidated, then you’re not getting the kind of acceptance you need from your partner.

However, there are two perspectives to this: acceptance of yourself and acceptance from others. Acceptance that comes from you is what gives you self-esteem or self-confidence. Acceptance from others boosts your sense of safety, stability, and calmness.

While you need to be accepted by your partner, you also need to accept your partner. Only in this way, can you have a balanced situation and a happy home.

11.   Sense of Independence

This affects a lot of relationships. Most partners had a few friends before taking the leap into a relationship, and once they do, that’s the end. But this can be wrong especially if you can’t do away with those past friends of yours.

A good relationship shouldn’t deny you the sense of yourself. It shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love doing so long as it doesn’t affect your relationship.

12.   Sex

The thing about sex is you both need to understand yourself to make it work. If having a relationship with little to no sex is fine by both of you, no problem.

But if sex is both your thing, then you should be ready to wear that sexy lingerie to arouse him. Or else you’ll keep having an unhappy moment in your relationship.

Wrapping Up on Building a Romantic Relationship!

There are no “one-size-fits-all” things to build a romantic relationship. But if you’re still wondering why other relationships work and yours doesn’t; implement the 12 suggestions above.

And, as you’re trying things out, pick one at a time, and stick with what works best. However, they’re all indispensable factors to have in a relationship.

Most importantly, don’t ignore communication, as it can help in figuring out other things required for a better relationship.

Overall, imbibe the culture of trust and honesty. Because the two are like the inseparable twins – No trust without honesty.

Armed with all this information, you’ll be able to build a romantic relationship in no time.

What things are most important to you to build a romantic relationship? If I have missed out anything that you’ll like me to add?

Kindly let me know in the comment box below!

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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