Why Do Men Love Dirty Talk So Much?

By David Small •  Updated: 11/16/18 •  7 min read

Dirty Talk, Talk dirty to me…” It’s the title of rock and pop song. It’s something you’ve probably been asked to do… And maybe you fumbled around with trying to come up with a response… Maybe you just changed the subject.

Why Do Men Love Dirty Talk So Much?

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No matter how you personally feel about talking dirty, you totally get that guys love dirty talk. But have you ever wondered “why is dirty talk so arousing to him?”

Look no further as I’m here to give you the low-down on the dirty. Knowing why he loves it when you talk dirty gives you an unfair advantage. It’s sort of like having advanced sexy ninja skills to make him putty in your presence.
Come with me as we uncover the specifics to why talking dirty drives men wild!

1. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets

Woman Showing How to Talk Dirty to a Guy If you have a ladylike public persona but behind closed doors you let explicit phrases tumble from your mouth, the contradiction gives him a big charge of excitement. He knows that he is the only one who gets to see this naughty side of you. Like he’s the one who inspires you to be uninhibited and that’s intoxicating to his ego.

And even if you aren’t the pinnacle of propriety, seeing you transform into a dirty little vixen for his eyes only gives him a titillating thrill. This heightens all of his senses and makes everything that much more arousing for him.

2. He feels like a rockstar sex god

When you let loose with a string of moans and screams mixed with a variety of sexy play-by-plays and dirty directives, you show him just how much you LOVE what he’s doing to you. Your unbridled expressions of bliss tell him in no uncertain terms that he’s rocking your socks.

You see, men are hard-wired in their brains to please us sexually. This goes all the way back to caveman days. However, in modern life, there are so many mixed signals both genders give that can get in the way of him knowing he’s “done his job” of satisfying you. Dirty talk cuts right through all the gray and speaks to him clearly.

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3. Your confidence slays him

A woman who can confidently use dirty talk to get what she wants in bed is downright seductive. Most men are helplessly drawn to women who aren’t afraid to express themselves sexually.

He doesn’t have to play guessing games as to how to turn you on when you tell him exactly what you want. And your use of dirty talk clues him in that you are far from uptight or inhibited. A good time is in store for you both!


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4. Dirty talk equals enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is such a huge turn-on for men. In fact, enthusiasm is consistently ranked as the #1 thing that makes a man feel like sex is awesome. Think about it, a quiet partner can be misunderstood as a bored or distracted partner, and that can put a big damper on the sexy mood. He ends up wondering if he’s pleasing you which can bring up insecurities for him.

When you talk dirty, not only are YOU 100% present and at the moment, it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are enjoying yourself. That level of engagement with what’s happening between you two validates that he’s pleasing you, refer to #2 above!

All of the reasons above activate different chemicals in his brain and are hitting some of the big triggers for his sex drive. Who knew that there was some science behind talking dirty?

Of course, not every woman feels comfortable launching into dirty talk, and if that sounds like you, you are not alone. If you’ve thought “I’m too shy to talk dirty!” or you simply want to know exactly how to talk dirty to a man I’d love to show you! All I ask if you don’t let your fears stop you from incorporating this fun technique into your sex life!
Three easy ways to ease into naughty talk are to…

Happy Woman Doing Dirty Talks by Texting

1. Start by texting

A simple “I can’t stop thinking about…” followed by a message like “you naked” or “the way you satisfied me last night” or “how bad I want you right now” are ways to get your point across without being totally explicit. It’s a great place to start.

2. Give a naughty play-by-play

When you are having sex, you can describe out loud how much you love what he’s doing. Tell him how good he feels, tell him you don’t want him to stop, or give him directions on what to do next.

3. Take a deep breath and let it fly!

It helps to think of getting into character. What would the naughty vixen version of you say to him? Play that role and don’t censor what dirty words fly out of your mouth!

4. Naughty Phrases that Drive Men Wild

Words that turn a man on the trigger a specific response in him, both physically and emotionally. What matters to most guys is that his sexual prowess is validated. He wants to know that you love what he’s doing and that his masculinity is arousing you. There is an almost universal male archetype of the strong sex-god rock star who is able to magically seduce and satisfy women.

Yes, even your brainiac math whiz-type has a fantasy of being THAT guy. When you say these phrases, it’s like you’ve crawled right into his sexual imagination.

Here are a few phrases you can say to him can give him that feeling of a sex-god rock star he craves.

Dirty Talk

photo by Edward Eyer on pexels

You feel so incredible.

Or you can fill in the blank with any kind of adjective there: amazing, big, good, fantastic, hard, huge, awesome. You get the idea. When you are having intercourse, telling him just how great he feels to you is the ultimate compliment. This validates his prowess and physicality in real-time. And you’ll learn in my program Language of Desire just how much importance most guys place on their penis.

Don’t stop!

It could be any command really: harder, right there, give it to me. Again, feel free to add in curse words and explicit language. Giving him a command during sex to keep doing exactly what he’s doing to you is confident and hot. It’s hot because it shows him just how much you are enjoying it. Men say the number one thing they love during sex is an enthusiastic partner!

I can’t get enough of you OR I’m so turned on by you.

This phrase speaks to his ability to arouse you. That he turns you into a sex-hungry vixen who wants his body all the time. Is that an exaggeration? Sure. But think about how often we unwittingly turn our partners away because we are tired, or have a headache, or just aren’t in the mood. This doesn’t mean you have to be ready to go at it 24/7.

However, when you feed his ego that he has the ability to drive you wild with desire you make him feel amazing, especially when you say this phrase outside of the bedroom. The idea that his woman is distracted in the middle of the day by sexy thoughts of him?

Naughty phrases guaranteed to drive him wild!

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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