Marriage problems cause a lot of men to abandon they families. If your marriage is in trouble the most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in dealing with this. No matter how bad things may seem, there is always hope for you and your wife.
Hope that can help you find a new way to turn your marriage back into the loving, fruitful relationship it once was. Though this is far from a complete list, here are 11 common ways that will help create a better and more loving marriage relationship with your wife.
1.Handle arguments differently
Don’t think that you are the only couple that fights, because you aren’t. Far from it. The trick, when dealing with a tense situation such as an argument, is knowing how to deal with it. You need to approach a fight like you would approach drugs.
Drugs can do harm to everyone and we”re taught at a young age that we need to say no, no matter how much we want to say yes. Despite how it may seem fighting in a marriage is just as addictive as drugs, and needs to be taken just as seriously.
Of course, there are always times when you need to blow your top when you need to just freak out and your partner should do the same. That is healthy in a relationship, as long as it is understood that it only occurs once in a while and doesn’t do any serious harm.
Essentially you need to approach an argument in as if it is the last thing you will ever say to your significant other. Don’t say anything that you’ll regret in the long run, that will bring tension in your marriage.
Don’t say anything that you’ll regret for a lifetime, because sometimes saying something that hurtful can destroy it as much as building it up. Try to be calm during an argument: talk instead of yell, it does wonders to keeping everyone calm and listening to each other.
2. Turn hurtful words into Praise
It’s natural to want to start insulting your loved one when you’re out with the guys and having a beer or two, the thing is the women always finds out… it’s in her nature. So, in order to stop that entirely, make sure that when it starts, refuse to participate in it.
If that means you have to sit there and stuff your face full of food, then do it. Shaming the significant other is not something that should be taken lightly and if you do have a rant with a friend, what you say should be kept confidential.
If you’re unable to sit in silence during this whole ordeal with your guy friends, then instead of participating in insulting your wife, simply take those words and turn them into positive ones: words that are good characteristics or funny memories or happy things that you have done together. Praise your wife instead of bad mouthing her.
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3. Change your routine
All couples go to that phase called the “honeymoon phase” where everything is bright and cheerful and nothing is boring. However not too long after those days will end, and everything will start to get monotonous and very boring which will sometimes push couples apart. However, there is a way to get that excitement back into your life and that is simply to change up your daily routine and make sure you do it with your significant other in mind.
Try doing a different date idea. Maybe go to a museum or go to a conference instead of going out for dinner or movie. If you do this once every month or every two months you’ll find that it makes a difference in the long run. This is because you are having your adventures with the one that you love and you’re experiencing things together.
Sometimes all it takes is changing things in the bedroom to put some spice back into your marriage relationship. Perhaps you can try a new technique, position or location if that’s your interest. Maybe try to wear alluring clothing or bring role-playing into the bedroom with you. Whatever you decide, make sure you talk it over with your loved one and see if it’s something they are interested in.
Take those extra couples of steps at the end of the day and bring home something nice for your loved one. Whether that be a nice hot cup of coffee after a long day, or small present or funny card. Whatever will share the “I love you” message without breaking the bank.
4. Face your money issues together
It’s important that you talk about your finances with each other even if they make you embarrassed. In modern-day many people bring that into the marriage at the beginning so it’s important to remember that you aren’t alone, Your loved one is dealing with the same issues as you. So, why not face them together?
If you work together there’ll be less of a chance that you’ll make a harsh decision that will send you spiraling apart. In fact, dealing with these important issues together will bring you closer and build trust and respect between the two of you. Here are some ideas to start this adventure:
Prioritize all of the most important parts of your family budget. Make sure that everyone’s voice is heard and that everyone stays calm. Analyzing your spending habits together will show you how you are each wasting money and you can use this as a time to talk about your financial goals as well as dreams for the future.
Understand and come to terms with the fact that spending money “just because” is disrespectful to your marriage and your spouse. If you feel the need for fancy jewelry or an expensive car, ask yourself why you want these things and discuss them with your partner.
Work together to create a list of items you own but don’t need. Consider the price of each of them and talk about what you could have done with the savings instead of buying these items. Ask each other if it would make a difference in how you see your job, family or future.
5. Compliment your wife as much as possible
It’s no secret that everyone loves to be complimented, whether they will admit it or not. Part of saving your marriage relationship is communicating, so make sure you tell your wife how much you care by tossing compliments and kind words her way every day.
It’s hard sometimes to do that, having this fear that she will think you are trying to cover up for something bad you have done, but the truth is, she will know when you are being genuine and when you’re not.
The compliments don’t have to be anything elaborate, just compliment her clothing choice, or her smile, eyes, anything that you feel honestly is important to you. Remember to be genuine, as she will know the difference.
6. Give your wife space
Especially after a fight, or just at the end of a particularly stressful day, sometimes your loved one will need some space to breathe and get themselves together. While some will want you close, others may just need to put their heart into something else while they cope with whatever it is that is bothering them.
This is okay, and not a sign that you cannot help them. In fact, you’re helping them by staying away and providing that space that they’re looking for
7. Communicate every day with your wife
Even on the busiest days, it’s important to have a talk with your spouse, be it in person or on the phone or through email. The most important thing is to keep in contact every single day so that your wife understands that you care about her and thinking of her throughout the day.
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D., therapist, life coach, and author explained,
We humans are built for connection. We’re all desperate for connection. Sometimes we feel like there’s no way to reconnect, but the other person is just as desperate for that connection. When we change our approach they’re most likely to be magnetic to that connection because they’re already primed for it, already waiting for a chance for connection.
It doesn’t need to be a novel, just a couple lines here or there on an answering machine or over dinner, or whatever the occasion calls for, this is the stuff of great a marriage relationship.
8. Speak highly of your wife to others
Whether she is there or not, always praise your wife to other people. It will get back to her in some way or another and will make them happy to hear that you are so genuinely happy to be with them that you talk and gush during the game or a night out. It builds a stronger marriage relationship bond between the two of you but also reminds you of the reason you love her in the first place.
9. Be your wife best friend
In times of frustration and sadness, sometimes they will just need a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. When those times arrive, that is your job as both a spouse and a best friend.
After all, a good marriage relationship is built on a great friendship, so make sure that you keep that element as strong in your marriage as you possibly can.
10. Do things together with your wife
Even if it’s just cooking together or watching a movie, do it together. It helps with teamwork and trust, even if you aren’t aware of it. This builds a stronger connection between the two of you and helps when problems arise. This helps in building a strong marriage
11. Be an Encourager
No matter what happens during a fight or anything of the sort, always cheer your significant other on. Even if you don’t agree with what she is doing, tell her that you support her decision and wish her the best.
She’ll look to you for guidance and reassurance, so make sure that you’re there to give it to her. It is your job as her spouse, so do it well and do it lovingly.
I hope that my article, Men:11 ways to save your marriage relationship has helped you in your quest for building a strong relationship.
Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
David Smallis the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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