17 Warning Signs Your Wife Wants a Divorce

By David Small •  Updated: 11/13/18 •  13 min read

Do you know the signs that reveal if your wife wants a divorce? How stable is your marriage? Are you always arguing or dealing with problems that don’t seem to end?

If you are in this situation, both of you are to blame. Your relationship could also be in a phase where you face blame, doubts, and constant blame.

17 Warning Signs Your Wife Wants a Divorce

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Your wife could already be thinking of a divorce given the brewing tension between the two of you. When you go to bed, you both sleep facing the opposite side making intimacy a thing of the past. The author of the 5 Signs Your Wife is Planning to Leave You, on the website https://www.thedivorceangels.com says trouble in marriage mostly comes a year before it breaks.

But just how do you tell that she wants out of the relationship? How do you deal with relationship issues to ensure you don’t end up in divorce? In this write-up, we will show you the clear indicators of a relationship on the rocks and how to rebuild it.

  1. She Argues About Nothing

Every normal marriage often experiences conflict. But when conflict becomes the order of the day, then you may end up divorced. In a seemingly harmonious relationship, the couple resolves their issues to avoid being annoyed with each other forever.

Watch out for arguments that arise out of almost nothing. Small disagreements that get blown out of proportion are due to major underlying issues that could result in divorce. It is not about how frequently you argue. Rather, what matters is whether you ever resolve your issues. Find help from a marriage counselor if you hope to be civilized and constructive in the way you handle conflicts.

  1. She No Longer Cares About Finding Solutions

How caring is your wife after an argument? Has she grown into despair, such that she no longer cares whether your problems get resolved or not?  Sadie Levy Gale in her article Five Surprising Signs You Are Heading for Divorce’, that appeared in the telegraph.co.uk say this could be due to strong resentment towards you. If it seems hopeless and helpless, then you are definitely headed for divorce.

Think about it. When either one of you looks withdrawn and unwilling to rebuild the relationship, how can you live in peace? Find out why your wife has given up on the two of you and resolve any underlying issues. If you don’t know how to do it, ask a qualified marriage counselor to help you. After all, a successful marriage takes hard work and dedication.

  1. Diminished Emotional Connection and Lack of Affection

Does your wife seem distant and withdrawn? Has she stopped showing you affection? If any of these is true, then she could be readying herself mentally to get out of the relationship. It gets worse if the two of you are no longer emotionally connected. Sam Margulies Ph.D., Esq. author of the article ‘The Six Signals of Divorce’ on the website psychology today, calls this ‘emotional disengagement’.

When a woman shows no emotions or feelings towards you and the marriage, then you are headed for divorce. Check if there is an underlying issue that could be causing all of this. Once you know and resolve the major issues in your relationship, you should be able to rebuild the emotional connection.


Photo by Alex Bocharov on Unsplash

  1. She Never Wants To Have Sex

Lack of sex in a marriage can be an indicator of certain underlying issues in your relationship. It is not possible to have sex when you are ever fighting and the emotional connection between the two of you has since died. Whether it is due to diminished sex drive or fading attraction, lack of sex can be a big issue.  It indicates that the two of you can no longer relate physically.

Brittany Wong in a post title 7 Signs Your Wife is Unhappily Married’, on huff post says that it gets worse when she stops initiating sex. If that is no longer possible, then you are definitely going to end up in divorce. You ought to be worried if your wife is no longer interested in sex or is always making excuses.

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  1. An Absentee Wife Who Is Ever Preoccupied

Has your wife started staying out late for no apparent reason? Do they seem disinterested in the family and no longer spends time with you? If ‘yes’, then there is something at home that could be bothering her. If not, she is no longer interested in the marriage and is readying herself mentally for an eventual divorce.

She could even be in another relationship and working towards building a social life away from you. But don’t rush into accusing her of cheating on you without tangible proof. Find out what the major issues are and try to resolve them.Fix Your Marriage

  1. Unwillingness to Plan For the Future Together

What’s your wife’s attitude when it comes to making joint future plans? How does she react to suggestions to have an additional child, for example? Is she in support of your plans to buy a new home? If she is saying ‘no’ when you can clearly afford it, then there is a problem.

A wife who isn’t ready to plan your finances together could be considering divorce. But you should avoid making assumptions. Find out from her the real reason she is reluctant to commit to a future together with you. After all, she could be against making future plans even while committed 100 percent. When this and the other signs are present, your relationship could be coming to an end.

  1. There Is another Man

Do you suspect your wife to be in another relationship? Could she be emotionally connected to the other man? They don’t have to be in a sexual relationship. A wife who is emotionally intimate with another man won’t need you in that manner.

If you look keenly, she could be considering ending the marriage. Be worried if your wife no longer holds you in high esteem as before. Ask her the biggest issue that could be driving her into an emotional understanding with another man. If you can find a mutual solution, go ahead and work on it.

  1. She Never Sees Any Positive Thing about You

Who wants to be taking all the flak in a relationship? It hurts so much when your wife doesn’t see anything good in


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what you do and who you are. According to ‘11 Signs, Your Wife Wants a Divorce’ your wife may not like your appearance. She doesn’t like your pot belly and cannot stop criticizing your balding head.

Chances are that she is readying herself for a divorce, at least mentally. Be afraid when she starts blaming you for the wrong things happening in her life.

This could be the opportunity she needs to ask for a divorce. Find out what the big issue is and talk about it openly. With time, you should be able to rejig your marriage.

  1. She Is Cheating With Multiple Men

How many times have you caught your wife cheating? If it is a countless number of times, then chances are that she just cannot commit to the relationship. She is a serial cheat and she is responsible for it. However, she is likely to start blaming you for it when you confront her.

In ’11 Early Warning Signs of Divorce’, this blame game is noted as a major problem. With time she will start calling you controlling, jealous or paranoid. That’s an indication that she is going to divorce you. If she cannot stop cheating, help her find help. There could be a number of underlying issues she needs to deal with. Only a qualified counselor can help her.

  1. She Has Been Moving Money Around

When your wife changes her behavior concerning money, she could be seriously considering divorce. If all your financial decisions were previously made in consultation with each other, what changed? One morning, she wakes up and starts moving huge sums of money out of your joint bank account. Or she opens a secret account.

‘6 Signs Your Wife is planning a Divorce’ calls this building a ‘financial parachute’. If she is breaching previous agreements concerning financial issues, she could be ensuring she has a secure future after divorce. Enlist a qualified marriage counselor to help you reach a solution to any underlying issues.

  1. Constant Threats to Leave

What are some of the things your wife says when you fight? Is she always threatening to leave you? Don’t take it as empty threats. While she could say that to hurt you, it becomes a major issue when she keeps repeating it. After all, a woman who says she is leaving often enough could just end up actualizing it.

Don’t take it lightly. While she could have started thinking of divorce a long time ago, she is only preparing you for its culmination. Find out what the underlying issue is and deal with it. The faster you reach a resolution, the faster you can get the marriage back on track.

  1. Long Phone Calls to Unknown People

After living with your wife for a while, you perfectly know how she behaves when someone calls her. If she has formed the habit of making long phone calls to unknown individuals, there is a problem. Your wife could even be thinking about divorce. It is a red flag when she starts receiving her phone calls in private.

You need to be concerned if she keeps getting silent when you walk into a room where she is making a phone call. When you inquire on who the person on the other end is and she says, ‘no one’ knows that you’re trending on tricky waters. According to ‘Ways to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Divorce’, communication is the key to building a stronger marriage.

17 Warning Signs Your Wife Wants a Divorce

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  1. Spending Time Alone With the Children

Is there a difference in how your wife spends time with the children? When she suddenly starts doing so to your exclusion, then there is a problem. While it is not obvious, she could be planning for divorce. Always ensure you watch out for such signs, it doesn’t have to be anything drastic. If she is having long conversations with the kids away from you, she could be trying to win them over.

During the divorce process, custody negotiations can be messy. If one of you already has an upper hand, the sailing will be easy for them. Don’t leave your wife to turn the children against you. Find out if there’s a major issue that could be causing her behavior and resolve it.

  1. She No Longer Finds You a Worthy Confidant

Since you got into this marriage, you have always confided in each other. What’s it that could have changed so much that your wife now does things behind your back? She always told you when she was down low or up high. Your wife doesn’t do that anymore. Could it be that she is thinking of divorce?

According to ‘6 Warning Signs of a Failing Marriage’, she could be holding you in contempt. While that may not prove anything, it should concern you when you learn new developments from her friends. The only conclusion here is that she no longer trusts you. Chances are she could be in a relationship with another man.

  1. She Is Making Drastic Changes

Could it be that your wife is making too many changes all over a sudden? Look at the way he behaves while around you and others. Is her behavior too bad or too good to be true? If suddenly your wife has changed her appearance, she could be thinking of divorce.

Mentally, she could even be prepared to leave the marriage. Only that she may not be saying it to your face. The only thing that could make a woman think of changing their identity is to impress a man. Find out if your wife is in any such relationship.

  1. She Lies All the Time and Keeps Secrets

When lying creeps into a relationship, the result is broken trust. Yet it is very hard to notice when it starts. When one partner becomes a pathological liar, then the relationship is in danger. That’s why you should always challenge every lie that comes out of your wife’s mouth.

She needs to know that lying is wrong and can lead to broken trust. If anything, what’s she hiding? Could it be an affair with another man? It is likely that she has a secret phone on which they communicate. If she is always making intricate excuses at the expense of the marriage, she is not yours. Find out if there are any underlying issues and address them.

  1. Her Friends Are Avoiding You

One of the major contributions to a marriage by any couple are the two sets of mutual friends. When you introduced her to yours, she made hers known to you. As part of your inner sanctum, these friends have played a major role in your relationship. It should surprise you if suddenly, your wife’s friends no longer want to meet you.

When this happens, find out what the problem is. Could she have confided in them about her decision to divorce you? If that’s true then your wife’s friends could already be choosing sides. Find out why they are behaving strangely and address any burnings issues.

In conclusion,

When you notice any of these signs at the same time, it is likely that your wife is planning to divorce you. But don’t make assumptions. Her behavior could have nothing to do with plans to quit the marriage. It is possible that she hasn’t even thought of divorce.

As one of the parties in the relationship, the presence of two or more of these issues should concern you. They could be an indicator of the headwinds facing the marriage in future. Many of these are usually signs of major issues that ought to be addressed before they break the marriage.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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