How To Tell If Your Husband Wants A Divorce

By David Small •  Updated: 10/23/18 •  12 min read

How can you tell if your husband wants a divorce? Are you experiencing problems in your marriage? There is a phase in your marriage when you will face doubts, fights, and blame in your relationship. Some simple things such as a change in sleeping positions and directions could be an indicator of growing tension.

How To Tell If Your Husband Wants A Divorce

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When your husband starts giving hints that he is considering divorce, just what can you do? Well, you could confront him and make a demand answers. That’s if you know what these signs are.

But just how do you know when your husband is thinking of giving you a divorce? In this write-up, we show you the things to look for in a relationship that’s beyond repair. We also tell you about ways to fix these nagging issues.

  1. He Argues Even Where There Are No Issues

It is normal for married couples to have some arguments for as long as you reach a resolution. What’s not normal is when you keep disagreeing almost on a daily basis. Watch out when small matters that could easily have been resolved end up being blown into major issues.

It could be a sign that your husband wants a divorce. The best way to get over small arguments is to learn how to resolve the issues behind them. Whenever you disagree, try to resolve your issues amicably and in a constructive way.

  1. He Doesn’t Care About Finding Solutions and Resolving Conflicts

How does your husband behave when you argue? Does he show genuine concern about finding a solution? If he always views your efforts to find solutions as hopeless or pointless, then your marriage is under threat. No matter how hard you try, it becomes very hard to reach an understanding without the cooperation of your husband.

Why don’t you find help from a professional, who will inject some optimism into him? In a relationship, you either rise or sink together. But first, you must make peace with each other after finding out if your husband wants a divorce. If you don’t, the issues can only fester and get worse.

  1. Emotional Disconnection and Denial of Affection

How does your husband behave towards you? Is he the same loving and affectionate man you married? If he has stopped caring, then they could have mentally withdrawn from the marriage. When the emotional connection between the two of you dies, it is one of the signals of divorce.

When you truly care for one another you should show feelings and discuss issues at the emotional level. Check if there are major underlying issues that could be causing the tension between the two of you. Resolving these issues is the only way to reconnect emotionally. The right time to start rebuilding your relationship is now.

How To Tell If Your Husband Wants A Divorce

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  1. Intimacy Is a Thing Of The Past and it will lead to Divorce

Lack of intimacy in your relationship, it is an indicator that you are no longer physically connected. In most cases, your marriage has deteriorated so much that your husband no longer finds you attractive. While he could blame it on his dwindling libido, the problem could be much deeper than you can imagine.

If the root cause of cause of the problem is not addressed, then it is one of the signs of divorce. It is important to talk to a doctor if the issues are health-related. If not, then several sessions with a qualified marriage counselor should set the relationship on the path to recovery.

  1. He Is Ever Absent or In His Own World

Your marriage is in trouble if your husband is fond of coming home late most of the time. If he no longer asking after or spending time with you and the family, he could be unhappy about something. He could also be preparing himself mentally for live apart from you.

If he rarely appears home, he could be in another relationship or building a social life away from you. Not that you should confront him about it without proof. That could only escalate a bad situation. Involve a marriage counselor when addressing the root cause of your husband’s constant absence.

  1. Reluctance to Make Joint Decisions about the Future

Has your husband suddenly stopped participating in decisions involving your future together? Is he reluctant to discuss the possibility of having an additional child? What about seeming reluctance to invest in a new home, even when you can afford it? The reason for refusing to commit to the future could just be that he is thinking of divorce.

Don’t make assumptions. Ask him to tell you exactly why he doesn’t want you to build your future together. After all, this is something that could happen even when he is still 100 percent committed to the relationship. If combined with other signs, then you should seek help.

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  1. There Is another Woman

Is your husband in a relationship with another woman? Are the two of them showing signs of emotional connection? It doesn’t have to be anything sexual. If your husband is emotionally intimate with another woman, it is one of the telltale signs that he wants a divorce.

Who knows? He could even be considering the possibility of giving you a divorce. That’s especially if he is no longer in love with you but only loves you. Find out what could be driving him into the hands of the other woman. Could it be something you can resolve? Work on it.


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  1. Ever Finding Fault in You

This is not a position you would want to find yourself in. Is your husband always criticizing everything about you the way you walk, talk, dressing, and even hairstyle? If he is not pushing you away, then he is preparing himself to leave.

It gets worse when he starts blaming you for everything that’s wrong in his life. Subconsciously, he could be creating the perfect excuse for divorce. Try to find out what could be causing this behavior. By engaging in open and candid communication, you should be able to reestablish the once vibrant marriage relationship.

  1. He Is a Serial Cheat

Is your husband moving from one extra-marital relationship to the next? Does he seem to find it very hard to commit to only you? If ‘yes’, then he probably is a serial cheat. There could be clear signs that your husband is cheating. While he is solely responsible for his philandering ways, don’t be surprised if he starts blaming it on you.

If a cheating husband starts to call you jealous, controlling or paranoid, he could be preparing himself for divorce. The only way to resolve this is to convince your husband to seek help. He needs to deal with the underlying issues that could be driving him into the hands of the other women.

  1. He Starts To Move Money Around

A sudden change in behavior concerning money could be a sign that your husband wants to get divorced. That’s especially if you have been making all your financial decisions together. Say you have been keeping your money in a joint account. Suddenly, he opens a secret personal account and starts moving money to it.

If his behavior is not consistent with previous agreements, then the relationship is on the rocks. It is highly likely that he is piling up money for his own financial security after divorce. Find out what could be the issue. If you cannot resolve the problem, ask for help from a qualified marriage counselor.


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  1. Threatening To Leave

It is common for fighting couples to say the nastiest things about their partners when they fight. Most of the words are so harsh and unwarranted that they lead to regrets in the future. One of these things is threatening to leave. It wouldn’t be a big issue if it happens only once.

But if he is always saying he will leave you, then it is a sign he wants a divorce. Don’t take it lightly. The man could have made up his mind to leave a long time ago and is only preparing you for the inevitable eventuality. After finding out what the real issue is, sit down with him and talk. Resolve your issues.

  1. Long Phone Calls with Unknown People

What kind of phone call habits has your husband been having since you met? Is he fond of talking over the phone for overly too long? If he has suddenly started to make long phone calls, a sign your spouse wants a divorce. It gets worse if he is always receiving the phone calls in private. When he sees you walking into the room, he goes silent. Ask whom he is talking to and all he will say is, ‘no one’.

What additional signs are waiting to know he is considering divorce? They keep calling a new friend or telling their family or friends about the problems in your marriage. Ask him what the real issue is. The sooner you start talking, the better.

  1. Spending Time Alone With the Children

It all depends on how time with the children between the two of you has been handled before. Have you been spending time with the young ones together or as individual parents? If your husband suddenly wants to spend time with the children without involving you, get worried. It is a clear sign that your husband wants a divorce.

Even things as trivial as him having long conversations with the children in your absence is a red flag. What if they are rallying the children against you so as to have an advantage during custody negotiations? Ask for help from a marriage counselor to help bring the two of you back together.

  1. He No Longer Confides In You

Since you got married, you have always told everything to one another. There is nothing your husband has hidden from you. Whether his exploits at work or things he regrets, he has always confided in you. If he suddenly stops doing it, chances are he is thinking of divorce.

It gets worse when you keep hearing about him from family and friends. Possibly, he doesn’t trust you enough to tell you how he is feeling or what he plans to do. What if he is in another relationship with someone with whom they share secrets?

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  1. He Is Making Drastic Changes

When you look at your husband, is he making far too drastic changes sooner? How is he behaving around you and others? Is his behavior too good to be true or too bad? If your husband has decided to change his appearance out of the blue, then he could be thinking of divorce.

This is one of the surprising signs you are heading for a divorce. There are times when men suffer from identity an identity crisis, especially when they reach middle age. If not properly handled, this struggle to redefine ones’ self can drive a man out of an existing relationship.

  1. He Lies All the Time and Keep Secrets

In any relationship, lying leads to broken trust. As something that starts slowly, lying often escalates and becomes too big enough to break a relationship. That’s why you should never let a lie told by your husband slip off unchallenged by the truth.

If he is lying, then your marriage could as well be over. It could even be an affair. Check if he has friends you have never been told about or a secret phone. Another marker for a man who is thinking of a divorce is a high number of complicated excuses. They earlier you iron out these issues, the better.

  1. His Friends Are Avoiding You

When you got into the marriage, each one brought their own friends. You introduced him to yours as he introduced you to his. Over the years, these friends have been part of your inner circle. If they start behaving strangely towards you, then something is cooking. It could just be that they have your spouse’s confidence that he is considering divorce.

His friends could be choosing sides or trying to avoid creating a conflict between the two of you. The earlier you find out the reason for this strange behavior, the earlier you will restore your relationship.


These signs could be clear indicators that your husband is thinking of divorce. However, let’s set the record straight. You cannot be certain of your husband asking for a divorce, just because he is showing certain signs.

The thought of divorce may even not have crossed his mind. But that doesn’t mean that these indications shouldn’t concern you. In fact, they could be clear signs of the headwinds that lie ahead for your marriage.

What do you do when your husband wants a divorce? Once you start noticing these signs, take steps to remedy the situation before it gets worse. You need to sit together and talk about how you are going to resolve some of the burning issues in your marriage.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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