Rebuild Love in Your Marriage
Photo by Gabby Orcutt on Unsplash

Are you searching for ways to rebuild love in your marriage? Marriage is always exciting at first? But you’ll find that as the days turn into years, the spark fizzles out, and you don’t feel as close to your spouse as you used to.

However, that doesn’t always have to be the case. Small, everyday gestures can go a long way in reviving lost love. They remind your partner that you still care about them and their happiness.

Couples that show affection and share laughter every day build a very strong marriage. Read on as we share some secrets on how to rebuild love in your marriage through the simplest of tasks.

Whether you perform them daily or every other day, they’ll remind you why you got married in the first place and rebuild love in your marriage.

 

1. Start & End the Day Together.

Even if both of you work during the day, you can connect before leaving in the morning and when you come home at night.

Share a smile over a cup of morning coffee. Or even go for a morning walk together if the two of you are early risers.

When you come home, greet each other. Not being acknowledged when you return home is a sign that your spouse isn’t happy to see you.

Even if you’re tired and not in the mood for any conversation, eat your dinner in each other’s company.

2. Sync Your Bedtimes.

It might just happen that your spouse is an early bird, and you’re a night owl (or the other way round).

Going to bed at the same time helps develop emotional, physical intimacy and rebuild love in your marriage.

Even if you’re not sleepy, you can watch a movie or silently enjoy each other’s company until your spouse falls asleep.

You can even use this time to talk about your day. Take a genuine interest in each other’s lives.

If you actually pay attention to what your partner is saying, you’ll be able to understand each other better and build more intimacy.

3. Communicate while you’re Apart.

Getting caught up at work and with your friends can make you forget about your spouse. A single text message goes a long way.

Even if it’s just an emoji of a slice of pizza, it’ll let your partner know that you’re thinking of them (and that you want them to pick up a pizza for dinner).

For couples that feel like the love is lost, this is a great way to steer clear of the chances of infidelity.

4. “I Love You” Isn’t Just 8 Letters.

Reminding your partner that you love them isn’t just by saying the 3 magic words. Yes, it’s all great to tell your partner that you love them, but it’s even better to show it.

Take over those small tasks that your spouse hates, like taking out the trash, or getting more toilet paper.

5. Don’t Forget to Say I Love You Verbally.

We know we just said that I Love You isn’t just about the words. But sometimes, your partner needs that recognition and comfort.

You can pair it with an action. If they actually take out the trash, tell them you love them. Or make it a part of your morning ritual.

Before leaving for work, give them a reminder. If you don’t feel like saying it, leave it for them in a note.

If you’re feeling particularly close to your spouse, get them a cookie, a cupcake, or a rose with a card attached.

Or a box of nuggets and fries with multiple dip options. Whatever makes them happy.

6. Surprise Each Other, it will rebuild love in your marriage.

A trip to Hawaii or a fancy dinner may not always be an option. However, you can surprise your partner every day.

It can be putting their favorite chocolate under their pillow every night, or a note of positivity tucked in their coat pocket.

On special occasions, you can go all out and get them a potted plant or their favorite dessert.

7. Share 1 Positive Fact About Each Other.

At some point, most people start asking the question: why did I fall in love with this person in the first place?

The way to go about this is to give each other daily reminders and you will rebuild love in your marriage.

It can be the simplest thing, like telling your spouse that you love the way they always laugh along with the laugh-track on sitcoms.

Or that you love the way they dress, or just about anything about them that makes you smile.

8. Cut Out the Criticism & Negativity.

Even if your partner is leaving their dirty socks all over the house, it’s not an opportunity for you to yell at them.

Make it sound positive. “I’d really appreciate it if you could put your socks away.” Too much criticism is a gateway to arguments, which, over the years, can erase the love in your lives.

If your partner finally goes through with it, provide encouragement. Snarky or sarcastic comments will only increase the distance between you two.

9. Occasionally Give Your Spouse Control over the Remote.

Even if we’re living in a smart age, you’re probably still watching Netflix together on TV. You don’t have to do this every day, but every now and then, hand them the remote.

Watch what they’re watching with them and show some interest. Caring about the shows they watch is your way of showing that you care about them.

10. Plan a Vacation Together.

It can be a bit monotonous to talk about your work and friends every day. But surely you have more things to talk about. Plan your future, and, more importantly, make future travel plans.

Even if it’s not something realistic, make farfetched plans of landing on the moon, or sunbathing on Saturn. You can even plan a weekend ski trip or to the beach.

The important thing is to plan fun activities with your spouse. This helps you feel closer and get more intimate.

11. Give Each Other a Smile.

Even if you’re on the phone and you see your partner, give them a smile to acknowledge their presence.

Make time for a quick smile whether you’re reading, lounging on the patio, or feeding the dog.

Who knows? Your spouse might feel so happy that they’ll help you with your chores like watering the plants or doing the dishes.

And there’s nothing more romantic than your beloved whispering the magic words in your ear “I’ll take care of the laundry today.”

12. Play a Game Together.

The couple that plays together stays together. It can be a quick game of Go Fish before bed. Or a board game. Or a chess match with a prize for the winner.

A little laughter and being silly with your partner will bring you closer to them. Not only that, but it will also help you de-stress and feel good.

If you’re both athletic, you can even go out and play hopscotch or ring toss. Bring back those silly carnival games that you loved as a child.

And yes, you can buy your partner a giant teddy bear or a goldfish if they win.

13. Talk about Your Problems.

For better or for worse right? Find out what’s troubling them and listen closely. Even if you can’t offer any solutions, you can comfort them and help them decide on what to do next.

If the problem is an argument between the two of you, listen to their perspective. Make them feel heard, even if you’re upset with them.

This is the only way you’ll be able to reach the neutral ground and get out of the argument without distancing yourself from each other.

14. Restock Something Your Spouse Has Run Out Of.

Have you ever stepped into the shower and realized you’re out of shampoo? Wouldn’t you love it if you went to the mirror cabinet and found a brand new bottle?

If your partner’s favorite cereal is almost finished, or you’re out of the jam they love, go out and get some more.

That little gesture is going to remind them why they fell in love with you in the first place. For an even more special touch, you can stick a post-it on it.

15. Create Moments of Intimacy.

No one really has a calendar for when they’re sexually intimate. That would take all the romance out of the moment.

But you can have your own ways of signaling your interest to your partner.

A hug that’s a little more than your usual style, a kiss that lasts a few seconds too long, or cuddling with them while you watch TV.

16. Make Plans for the Future.

This can be as simple as deciding to buy a plant or as big as buying a new house.

Plan your dream house together, and if you’ve been together for a long time, you can even start discussing where you’d like your children to go to college.

The important thing is to create a special place for your spouse in the future. Showing them that you have a shared life ahead will make them feel loved.

17. Share Emotional Moments, Even When You’re Apart.

If you see a cute dog on your way to work, send your spouse a photo. Someone sent you a funny cat video, forward it to your spouse.

Something strange happened, text your spouse about it. You dealt with something upsetting, give your spouse a call.

Speaking to them will probably help you feel better. By sharing small moments with each other every day, you’re developing a stronger bond.

It doesn’t have to be a big moment. It could be as basic as messaging them if the Starbucks barista spelled your name in a funny way.

18. Make Them the First to Hear Any News.

Make your spouse the first to hear about anything that happens to you. A job promotion. Winning a game of bingo.

Getting a prize from a lucky draw. In that instant of happiness, share your joy with them. Alternatively, if you experience something sad, give them a call.

19. Say Thank You.

Thank you for existing, introducing me to the fluffy Japanese cheesecake and for not clogging the drain today.

Thank you for putting in a new roll of toilet paper and for washing the dishes last night.

You don’t need your spouse to perform some grand gesture in order to thank them.

It’s the little things that remind them that they’re loved. They also remind you why you love your spouse.

20. Set Aside Time for Each Other.

If a morning and evening ritual isn’t possible, set aside some time for each other. Whether it’s an hour or even just ten minutes, sit together without your phones or any other distractions.

You can just sit together and stare at the sky. Or Google the best holiday destinations. Or have a cup of coffee together.

The important thing is to have some time during the day when it’s just the two of you, this has proven by many couples to rebuild love in your marriage.

21. Try Their Favorite Food.

You don’t have to do this all the time, but every once in awhile, eat the food your spouse loves.

If they love sushi and you don’t, try some anyway (unless you’re allergic to seafood). You can even cook it for them once a month as a surprise.

Think of this as your way of showing your appreciation for them.

22. Have Date Night Once a Week.

We know this isn’t a daily action but have a date night once a week. You can choose an activity you both enjoy. A stroll at the beach.

Dinner at your favorite restaurant. Even a hike during the day can be counted as a date night will rebuild love in your marriage.

Once a month, or every few months, you can do something even more special. A candlelit dinner on a cruise. A game of paintball. Anything that both of you will enjoy.

23. Complete the Morning Crossword Together.

Your local morning newspaper probably has a crossword puzzle in it. And while it can be quite boring to fill one alone, filling it together can be a bonding activity.

Completing an activity together will be good for you. It’ll remind you that some words in your life are meant to be filled by your partner.

24. Take Pictures of Each Other.

Create your own paparazzi moments. Create memories by taking photos of your spouse laughing at some stupid joke you just made.

Or smiling at their pancakes with a chocolate sauce smiley face on them. Or making funny faces while brushing their hair.

When you scroll through your galleries, these pictures will make you smile and feel closer to your significant other.

In fact, you may even start looking forward to the next morning for another opportunity to take silly pictures.

You don’t have to share them on social media. Store them for your own viewing.

Your favorites can be hung on a photo wall. Looking at this wall will be a reminder of all the good moments you’ve had.

You can take this one step further by hanging those fairy lights with pegs for instant photos.

Related Article: Most Important Things in a Relationship 17 will Surprise You.

25. Show Your Partner You’re Thinking of them When You’re Apart.

If you both work, or if your spouse is at work, you can hide a small candy bar or a muffin in their bag.

If this is a daily activity, you can even just put in a note to make it budget-friendly. Pack a surprise lunch for them.

Or order their favorite food and send it to their workplace. If they have time, meet up for a quick lunch and coffee.

26. Take Over the Morning Drop-Off.

Worse than having to drive to work in the morning is dropping the kids to school.

Hearing them fighting with each other in the backseat, dealing with the traffic in the drop off lane can be the start of a migraine.

If you have time in your busy schedule, take over your partner’s morning drop off. Their relief-filled smile will also make you feel good.

27. Make Story Time a Partner Activity.

If your children are at the age where you read them stories before bedtime, you probably divide the job.

Instead, you can both read your kids their bedtime stories, and once they’re asleep, you can catch up on your day.

Sit down with some milk and cookies, and watch a movie together or talk about your day. You can also make this the time when you vent about anything that’s bothering you.

Any conversation that you couldn’t have in front of the kids can be handled now.

28. Join an Activity You Both Enjoy.

You have a number of options. From yoga to baking to book club to bowling, find common ground.

You can even join a movie group where you sit down with other people and share your views on the latest film you’ve watched.

Even if this activity is once a month, it’ll give you something to look forward to. For partner activities like bowling, it’ll build your competitive spirit.

If you’re the adventurous type, learn how to scuba dive together. Share that romantic spirit with aquatic creatures that swim past you.

29. Start Your Day Together, Even if you’re Apart.

Remember when you first met each other, and couldn’t bear the thought of being apart even for a second? Well, it’s time to go back to that.

If you or your spouse are traveling, call each other in the morning to wake up together. Talk over the phone or video chat as you have breakfast.

Plan a romantic date night for when you’re together again.

30. Don’t Get Mad at the Little Things.

Even if you’re madly in love with your partner, certain quirks can get on your nerves.

Whether it’s their tendency to leave a mountain of dishes in the sink, or the way they never turn the lights out, it can be the starting point for an argument.

Steer clear of negativity by overlooking the little things.

If it’s something big enough to get you riled up, find a nice way of telling them that you’d like them to throw their trash in the dustbin instead of leaving it on the countertop.

31. Don’t Be Afraid to Show Affection in Public.

You may commute to work together every day. If you’re on the subway or the sidewalk, don’t hesitate from showing affection.

Give them a hug and a kiss goodbye. Share your love with the world. Being carefree and intimate in public will remind you of why your spouse is so special to you in the first place.

Hold hands and go for a walk. Make out in the park at night like teenagers. Huddle together at the beach and stare at the waves.

If you’re too lazy, just sit on your veranda and gaze at the moon together.

Keep the Love Alive.

These 31 daily acts that will rebuild love in your marriage will assist you in rekindling your love. Even if you’ve been married for over a decade, it doesn’t mean your life needs to become dull.

Don’t fall into that unwritten idea that couples that have been married for years tend to become boring.

You don’t need to spend on diamonds or private jets to make each other happy. The smallest gestures performed consistently can remind your spouse that they’re in your thoughts.

It can be as simple as a smile or morning chocolate. Or it can be something special like a fancy morning breakfast complete with fresh strawberries and chocolate sauce.

Even if you’re not looking for activities that you have in common, find little ways to bring a smile on each other’s face.


David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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