How Do You Know If You Are Healing From A Broken Heart?

By David Small •  Updated: 11/19/20 •  11 min read

Healing from a broken heartbreak gets evident with time.

As you get busy with your life, make new friends, and visit new destinations, you will see subtle signs. They are subtle indicators that you are doing much better than you think or feel.

Healing From A Broken Heart?

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

When the symptoms come, you start feeling like you want to live to the fullest once again. You no longer feel emotionally drained and have a surge in physical energy.

The lethargy you once had has translated into a go-getter attitude and a burst in creative energy. Now let’s delve deep into the signs you are healing from a broken heart.

  1. Less Severe Emotional Upheavals

Psychologist Melanie Greenberg says you are likely to have emotional upheavals in the first few days following a breakup. The situation is worse at the beginning. There are days when all you will have are thoughts about your ex.

Then, you will find it difficult to get out of bed. The ups and downs of dealing with heartbreak can leave you with overwhelming emotions. You will feel sad, angry, and need to contact your ex. In the midst of all of that, you cannot imagine yourself feeling better.

However, with time, your emotions become less drastic, and you start feeling more balanced. Thus, having less severe emotional upheavals is a sign that you are finally healing from heartbreak.

  1. You Can Explain the Reasons for the Breakup

If you can finally rationalize a breakup, you are on the path to healing from a broken heart. Like any other experience, a heartbreak requires you to make sense of it to heal. Of course, there must be one incident that caused the misunderstanding, driving the two of you apart.

However, it’s essential to understand the dynamics of the relationship and your role in what transpired. If you don’t do that, you will keep blaming your ex for everything that went wrong, and yet you had a part in it.

The ability to explain the reasons for the Breakup not only brings healing but also helps you prepare for future relationships.

  1. You Are More Optimistic About the Future

The future can look bleak immediately following a breakup. Even though you are no longer together, you can’t imagine living without your ex.

How can you have a satisfying, enjoyable, happy, and meaningful life without him or her? You have just lost “your soulmate” and think your life has come to an end.

However, as we have already observed, a time will come when you start making sense of it. At that time, the future will look brighter, full of hope, and more tremendous promise. That’s a sign that you are healing from heartbreak.

Also Related: 17 Proven Steps On How to Overcome Heartbreak.

  1. Have an In-Depth Knowledge of Yourself

Being in a relationship for a long time can lead to the loss of your sense of identity – one of the reasons it’s so painful.

However, the pain presents an opportunity for you to look back at your life, learn more about yourself, and thrive. The more you know about yourself, the better you will be prepared for a new relationship.

Writing for Business Insider, Jessica Mendez recommends four questions to ask yourself as you begin to heal. Who were you at the beginning of the relationship?

What things could you have done better? What three things did you learn from the relationship? Did the relationship make you a better person?

Some people don’t have the patience to wait for healing; instead of patiently bidding time, they jump into a relationship with the next man or woman that comes along. That’s often an attempt to spite their ex.

What these people forget is that entering a rebound relationship only worsens a bad situation.

  1. You Now Appreciate Everything about the Old Relationship

Soon after breaking up, people tend to either idealize or villainize their exes. Their view of their ex keeps swinging from good to wrong and back again. In the end, one starts to feel chaotic, confused, and unmanageable emotions.

Eventually, healing comes when – as Mariana Bockarova Ph.D. writes – you begin appreciating the broken relationship. It is one way to get closure.

As you internalize and process the Breakup events, you will understand the positive and negative attributes of the relationship. In short, you start having a realistic view of your old relationship. Also, you start feeling better about it.

  1. You No Longer Feel Emotionally or Spiritually Drained

A heartbreak affects you more than just emotionally and physically – it can also take a toll on your spiritual well-being.

Thus, you are likely to feel confused, lost, and empty on the inside. Because of the loss of a relationship, you may feel like the universe has conspired to make your life miserable. With a broken spirit and diminished light, you will end up not caring for anything. Some people even begin to feel like their life should end.

The hope of healing from heartbreak comes when your spirit gets revived. Amidst the pain, you start seeing hope for a brighter future. You are happier and can even afford to laugh about your life.

Slowly but surely, you are coming back together spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Finally, life has a new meaning. That’s a clear sign you are healing your broken heart.

  1. Your Creativity Is Making a Comeback

In the process of grieving the loss of a relationship, you will feel depressed, drained, and lacking creative energy. You can’t make new, exciting plans in your work or come up with anything compelling.

Depression and grief resulting from a breakup can be so overwhelming that it denies you the life you want. Feeling creative shows, you are slowly healing from a broken heart.

It shows a readiness to live again when you keep coming up with brilliant ideas in the office. You could even exercise your creativity by writing a book, taking a holiday, or joining a painting class. The more you do these things, the more it becomes clear you are healing a broken heart.

Broken Heart

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  1. Your Physical Energy Is Increasing

One of the common manifestations of heartbreak is in your physical body. For some reason, you discover you’ve got no energy to do anything. Here, we are not talking about the lack of creativity at work.

Instead, you are feeling numb, almost powerless. In short, you have no physical energy do to anything. Sometimes, you may also struggle waking up in the morning.

However, when that begins to change, it’s clear your broken heart is starting to heal. In the morning, you are always looking forward to work. Besides, you have recently joined a local gym to keep fit.

You feel happier, more energetic, and peppier. Unlike before, you start asking family members to plan for a get-together. Additionally, you cannot avoid a hearty conversation, even with strangers. In short, your body feels rejuvenated, giving you a reason to live once more.

  1. Your Brain Is Sharper and Less Fuzzy

There’s strong evidence indicating that breakups trigger depression and other mental illnesses. In the book From First Kiss to Forever, Marisa T. Cohen Ph.D. blames heartbreaks for stress-related mental disorders.

According to her, stress-inducing factors like getting dumped are called environmental stressors, catalyzing feelings of sadness and depression. When depression comes, it makes your brain fuzzy and less capable of processing clear thoughts.

In short, you will have brain fog or cognitive dysfunction as a result of being depressed. Your thinking ability dissipates, reaction time slows, memory fades, and you can’t follow through with your decisions.

With time, your mind becomes sharper, your thoughts more apparent, and your comprehension levels better. You feel happier, and your reasoning is more straightforward.

Additionally, you are welling with ideas on how you are going to live from this point happens. With that, it’s a clear sign you are healing from heartbreak.

Also Related: 17 Proven Ways To Get Over Relationship Breakup Now.

  1. People Opinions No Longer Interest You

Soon after a breakup, you are likely to care so much about what other people think about you. Such opinions may include those of your relatives, close friends, mutual friends, and acquaintances. Some of these people may blame you or your spouse for causing the Breakup.

They may even say how much they no longer respect you for going through a divorce. If you take that to your heart, you may end up with a very miserable life. It will even be impossible for you to attend social gatherings where you will likely face questions about the Breakup.

So, when you find yourself caring less about other people’s opinions, it’s a sign that you are healing from heartbreak. After wallowing in the miasma of self-deprecation, you have decided to embark on a new journey in your life.

You are ready to consign the past to where it belongs and let the pain diminish. Importantly, you no longer value people’s opinions about you. For once, you have resolved to focus on no one but yourself, your needs, and wants, rather than what they may think about you.

  1. Other People’s Relationships Encourage You

Going through heartbreak can be so hurtful that you do not want to be close to people with working relationships.

You either feel resentful or jealous of those who seem to be doing well in relationships. When you meet happy couples, you start feeling lonely, even telling them about it. You don’t want to see a happy canoodling couple anywhere.

When that no longer bothers you, it’s clear that you are slowly healing from heartbreak. You can be in the company of a happy couple and remain calm and collected. The sight of happy couples no longer bothers you as much as it used to.

Instead, their relationships encourage you to work on yourself in readiness for a better future relationship. On social media, you can read and watch kisses, engagement posts, and men & women walking hand-in-hand without feeling jealous.

  1. You Have No Problem Doing Things Alone

Before you broke up with your loved one, you did everything together. You had mutual plans, friends, and went to the same places. Breaking up can mean completely altering that.

For instance, you have to say goodbye to your mutual friends and forget about the places you went to together. Because of that, you may feel life isn’t worth going on without your ex. If you are not careful, it might be tough for you to move on with your life.

However, when you start doing things alone without wishing your ex was here, then you are on the path to recovery. For example, you are already going to dinner at the café next to your residence.

You no longer find it unusual, having dinner without your ex, and are ready to live on your own. In short, you are self-contented and have stopped wishing your ex was here with you. You are healing from heartbreak.

  1. You Can Say No to Engagements without Feeling Sad

You have just broken up with your ex. Your family and friends pity you, so they are always asking you to join them in various events. They want to keep you busy to help you heal from the broken heart.

Since you don’t want to offend them, you cannot say “no” to their invite. Sometimes you have your plans but end up honoring your friends’ invites. While that’s good, it can make your life miserable.

With time, you should be able to say “no” to them. You should be able to avoid pleasing people to show them you are happy. Over time, you no longer have to attend events to make your friends happy. Saying “no” has nothing to do with your happiness or contentment. Instead, you say no simply because you don’t want to attend the event. You are ready to spend time alone because that’s what you want.


As you can see, knowledge of when you begin to heal from heartbreak is possible. First, it becomes apparent through your attitude, physical energy, and mental acuity. The signs may not be significant at first. They may come as creeping feelings indicating a gradual change in your disposition.

Additionally, you will start living your life naturally. With time, you will be confident enough to reconnect with friends, family, and even create a new relationship.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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