17 Proven Steps On How to Overcome Heartbreak

By David Small •  Updated: 08/01/19 •  11 min read

Are you going through a breakup and now you’re trying to figure out how to get over heartbreak? Do you know that they’re ‘proven’ steps on how one can overcome heartbreak?

17 Proven Steps On How to Overcome Heartbreak

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Heartbreak is such a cruel thing one cannot easily conquer as your emotion is deeply involved. Heartbreak can result in choosing isolation and being depressed and daring not to see anyone. But doing so would only make the situation worse.

We care about you and your mental health and don’t want things to get out of hand, so we bring you 17 proven steps on how to overcome heartbreak.

Share Things Over With Your Friends or Family.

The burden of heartbreak you’re carrying in your chest could ease out once you share them with your friends or to your family. This is undoubtedly a good way on how to get over heartbreak.  In the earliest stages of a breakup, it is important that you can share your feelings with trusted family members and friends.

Don’t keep everything inside. It can be very therapeutic to be able to let go of what you are feeling in this way. You will also gain some valuable feedback, maybe some things that you haven’t thought about in helping you get over someone.

Seek an Advice of a Professional Counselor.

A professional counselor has a better understanding of what you are undergoing through; seeking advice from such a person would truly help you. This is one of the ways to get over heartbreak before you move onto your next relationship.

Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert once said “Having an outlet to express the pain, discomfort, fears, and sadness, such as a therapist’s office, can reduce the sense of guilt and shame a person may feel for not ‘getting over it yet.”

Also, seek help if it’s been a month or two and you still don’t feel better — or you feel worse and have more intense depressive ruminations, Hansen said. “A therapist will be able to assist with the depression, helping you feel better and regain your self-esteem and hope for the future.”

Don’t Neglect Yourself.

Too often in times of duress, we tend to forget about our wellbeing. Remember a broken heart can be stressful, so remedy this by eating well, getting plenty of rest, and regular exercise. You will keep any extra stress or depression by following these simple steps.

The most important decision of your life, the one that will affect every other decision you make, is the commitment to love and never neglect yourself. It directly affects the quality of your relationships, your work, your free time, your faith, and your future.

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Stay Busy.

This can be difficult, especially in the beginning period after a breakup. You may even have to force yourself to get up and get out of the house and keep your mind occupied. This is where good friends and family can step in and get you going.

Working things through the mind is a necessary part of the healing process. Start a new hobby, paint a room… you get the idea. Do what you can, and try to incorporate more activity every day or week. This is among the surest ways on how to get over heartbreak.

Give Yourself Time.

You know the old saying, “Time heals all wounds.” This is very true. No two people are the same. It may take you days, weeks or even months to get over that certain someone, but one thing is sure, you’ll get over them. Be patient with yourself and let the healing happen.

If you refuse to give yourself enough time to heal, you are destined to repeat it. Bad and broken up relationships came to teach you a life lesson. You can give yourself time to learn the lesson at that time, or you can learn it after the next bad break up. I know you won’t want to learn the lesson in the next break up, so give yourself enough time to overcome heartbreak.

Envision Your Life as Going Even Better Than You Had Planned.

Everything in life; including those things we think are good or bad, have their pros and cons, including the relationship you are trying to get over the heartbreak. Right now, you may be looking around, and you cannot imagine things ever being good again.

But try asking yourself “what if, just what if this change is actually going to benefit me in some way? What way might that be? What good could possibly come out of this?” Come on; you know you can think of more than a few good reasons to be single again. For 5 minutes each day, try focusing on those possibilities and imagine yourself reaping their benefits.

Flirt With Someone New.

Okay, the last thing you probably want to do right now is to think about another person romantically. This is all the more reason to have the guts to do a bit of innocent flirting. Try it at the post office, the grocery store, the gym.

Say hello to someone attractive while looking into their eyes smilingly, and hold your gaze for an extra second or two longer than feels comfortable. A bit of flirting, even if it never leads anywhere, can be a great way to get out of your funk and into the groove.

Forgive Yourself.

If you believe that the end of the relationship and heartbreak was due to things you did, then stop beating yourself up about it. Unfortunately, it’s happened, and you have to learn to let go of those feelings.

If you have to try to think about the good times you had together and be thankful instead. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know, for your wrong judgments, rash decisions, unkind words and deeds and vow to use the knowledge gleaned from this relationship to better your future relationships so you don’t have to face heartbreak again.

Accept That the Relationship is Over.

If you continue to believe that you and your ex have a chance to be together still, then it will be impossible for you to move on.

Try to let go, and let them have a chance to let you go too. For you to overcome heartbreak, wholeheartedly accept that the relationship is over. Don’t ever try to get it back working again.

Pet(s) Always Comes To The Rescue.

If you have pets, spend some time with them. Watch them follow you around the house, beg for your attention, and other pet stuff. Realize that you’re still very lovable to these intelligent and sweet creatures even though that person didn’t feel the same way.

Staying active with your pet by playing with a toy or going on a walk, will improve serotonin and dopamine levels. These ‘feel-good chemicals’ help heals heartbreak, as well as combat severe mood disorders like Depression and Bipolar Disorder.

Heartbreak has a tendency to isolate people. Sometimes you feel like no one understands what you’re going through. This loneliness manifests into you spending less time with people. Pets help assure you that you’re worthy of love and affection and can help you overcome heartbreak.

Allow Yourself To Feel the Pain of Loss.

At first, your emotions may feel too intense to bear, but if you allow yourself to feel the pain and get over it, you are less likely to jump into another relationship just to camouflage the pain of the first.

If you refuse to feel it and heal it, you are destined to repeat it. If you really want to overcome heartbreak, try not to fight how you feel. Take a reasonable amount of time to be single and feel good as just yourself again. You will feel good again “This too shall pass” – as they say.

Don’t Shittalk Your Ex Too Much.

While reflecting on your feelings about your breakup — the good, the bad and the ugly can be cathartic, harping on all your ex’s flaws and calling them names in front of others not only looks terrible, but it makes you seem immature and petty.

Sure it feels good to trash talk your ex with your friends, and hearing that you were better than them from the start feels like a drug, but don’t rely on it.

Hearing your friends bring down someone who made you feel shitty feels like it should be justified in the grand karmic scheme of things, but your health and happiness need not be contingent on someone else’s pain and suffering.

Find a Higher Purpose.

If you aren’t the type to sit around rewiring your light fixtures, painting the garage, or building a monument to the resiliency of mankind you may find that devoting your time to a charity, children’s hospital, or some other organization that you find worthy is a great way to tap into your higher purpose in life. It will also help fill the void the heartbreak leaves behind.

Cut Off All Contact With Their Ex.

Feeling tempted to get back in contact with your ex? Go ahead and block them now. Totally shut their contact down and move on with your life.

There will be a hole at first but the more time you give it, the more you’ll realize that you’re blinding yourself to your ex’s many faults. Zero contact with your ex is how to get over heartbreak. Don’t look them up on social media at all, no matter how tempting.

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Be Active and Work on Yourself.

Nothing will get you out of a depressed, heartbroken state than starting a new exercise regimen, getting on a diet, and tuning up your wardrobe, hair or makeup. The reason why those among the recently-heartbroken ‘walking dead’ avoid these steps is because, well, it takes a bit of effort.

The last thing someone who is feeling down about a heartbreak wants to do is to go out for a jog 3 miles or start a daily Pilates morning routine. You probably just feel like staying on the couch or in bed and wallowing in the muck of your emotional state. Exercise. it’s a solid antidepressant, and once it starts to click that you’re doing something good for yourself, it’ll start to feel better and better.

Fill Your Time With Productive Activity.

One of the ways on how to get over heartbreak is to fill your time with productive activities. Keep doing this so that there is no time left over for heartbreak and you will find in time that the ache isn’t nearly as profound.

The bonus is that once you do recover you’ve managed to mark all these items off your “to do” list. To overcome heartbreak is never easy but productive activities can help you forget that you’re even going through a heartbreak.

Appreciate Your Steps — However Small.

Expecting yourself to bounce back after heartbreak is unrealistic. (And this expectation, when inevitably unmet, can just make you feel worse.) “You have lost an important person in your life, and it’s okay not to feel like your normal self or be able to accomplish regular chores, activities [and] duties.

However, acknowledge and appreciate the steps you have taken to heal, no matter how small.

This could include anything from going to work, to opening the blinds, to having lunch with a friend, to brushing your teeth. You’ve to remember to honor where you are and acknowledge yourself for what you’re doing.

The practice of acknowledging our progress helps us appreciate our small wins, which in turn boosts our sense of confidence. This is because any accomplishment no matter how little activates the reward circuitry of our brains.


Heartbreak doesn’t just hurt; it often feels impossible to heal and get over it. The good news is that you just read proven steps many have used to overcome heartbreak.

What you just read are the surest ways on how to get over heartbreak and can help you speed up the mending of your broken heart. Don’t be among those that read and move, take action, my friend.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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