How to Become the Girl Guys Want to Date

By David Small •  Updated: 09/02/20 •  11 min read
How to Become the Girl Guys Want to Date

Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

Do you want to know how to become the girl every guy wants to date? You have to take deliberate steps to learn how to attract men.

That way, you can avoid the frustration of being the only girl in your circle without a man. You will quickly avoid the trap of being the one guys want to hang out with.

Instead, you will become the girl all of them want to date. However, you should start by putting yourself at par with the men you want to date.

If you are not on the same page, the man will find it hard asking you to date him.

Here are some tips to give you an edge.


  1. Build a Well-Balanced Life

Do you have a life? Most likely. In the process of trying to enter a relationship, you might neglect your own life. After all, life is not all about dating. Rediscover your passions and pursue them. When guys see you doing the things you love, they will find you more attractive and even consider dating you.

Guys will notice you when you are doing everything to improve yourself. They would have every reason to want to know you more. So strive to excel in your career. Every so often, arrange to have brunch with your family. Or, passionately pursue your hobbies. Who knows? You might end up meeting and dating a guy with similar interests.

According to, one of the benefits of a balanced life is an improve your social life. With time, they would want to share your remarkable life with you. You will attract love into your life without having to actively seek it.

So, stop chasing guys and start pursuing things that really interest you. When you finally start a relationship, you will discover you have to keep taking care of yourself. Since you will be less clingy, your relationships will be stronger for it.

  1. Taking Good Care Of Yourself

The first thing that men notice in women is their looks. You don’t have to be physically perfect to attract a man into your life. Instead, you should take the time to look the best when going out.

It is all about maintaining good hygiene. Pay attention to the basic things like taking a shower, putting on some makeup, and wearing the right attire.

Make sure you are always fresh and clean. Take time to shower, floss, brush teeth, and shave unwanted hair. Never leave the house without first putting on a fresh, feminine fragrance. Even before a guy lays his eyes on you, he is going to catch a whiff of your perfume.

Take good care of your skin using the best lotions on the market. Your skin should always be soft, delicate, and bright. No guy can resist that. Even as you strive to look good, avoid baring too much skin than necessary.

Adorn clothes that enhance your feminine looks while exposing very little skin. Purchase blouses, dresses, and tops that are fashionable, classy, and sensual. Don’t forget to take good care of your hair. Once in a while, visit a salon and get a fresh touch of style.

  1. Learn To Rely On Yourself

Nothing turns off guys like needy women. When you are needy, you depend on the guy to complete you. But no guy has that ability. Some guys may like it when they know you depend on them for everything. However, the majority will find you unattractive. To know how to become the girl guys want to date, work on relying on yourself.

In short, as you prepare for a relationship, be ready to live the life of a single woman. When a guy knows you can stand on your own, he is going to respect and want to be with you. However, you shouldn’t use your ability to depend on yourself as a way of wrapping the guy on your finger. Instead, it should be an excellent way to maintain the guy’s interest in you.

  1. Work on Invisible Qualities

Men get attracted by a woman’s natural looks. In a study, 33 percent of men consider physical attraction when choosing a female partner. However, what will make him stay has to do with your invisible, inner qualities. Traits such as respect, honesty, and truthfulness will determine how long a relationship will last. Let’s focus on respect.

One of the obsession triggers for men is a respectful female partner. It is one of the love languages for a man. A show of respect to a man shows you genuinely love him.

The same applies to honesty. When you are honest, you are willing to voice your feelings without the fear of contradiction. Similarly, a truthful woman will avoid cutting corners when it comes to the relationship.

Related Article: How to Get a Guy to Notice You.

  1. Be Very Clear On What You Want

What do you want in a relationship? If you are not clear about that, then you may end up blaming your man for not treating you right. Spell out the kind of man you want. Once you find him, tell him your expectations about the relationship.

If you want him to be your boyfriend, tell him. Also, if you expect something more permanent, don’t hesitate to voice it. When you fail to say it, the man could treat you like any casual friend and leave you after a short time.

Even as you decide on the kind of man you want, remember to be open-minded. That way, you will be able to consider a guy who meets some of your conditions. You could at least go on a first date to test the waters.

If you like what you see, you can go on another date and even enter into a long-term relationship. Being too idyllic can be a source of frustration for a woman who knows she deserves the love of a man. After all, some of the most long-lasting relationships happened by accident.

Photo by Alejandro Ruiz from Pexels

  1. Work on Your Dreams and Goals

Do you have any goals and dreams for your life and career? Getting into a relationship doesn’t mean you shelve your ambitions. If you want to excel in your career, work on it.

Focus on your work, put in extra time, do everything you can to get to the top. If you have a goal to save money, why don’t you start working on it?

A report in says working on your dreams allows you to meet other dreamers. The biggest mistake you can make is to put your life on hold as you wait for a man to come along.

Some women mistakenly think they can only find the right guy by chasing every man they meet. It doesn’t auger well when you come off as someone desperately looking for love. It is even weirder to call a guy your boyfriend just because you go out with him once a week.

Perhaps the two of you haven’t even discussed the idea of getting into a relationship. So what should you do? Enrich your life by filling it with family, friends, and hobbies. As we said earlier, “get a life.” Without intending to, you will become more attractive to guys and make them want to date you.

  1. Leave the Past, Well, In The Past

Regardless of your age, you are likely to have been hurt by a lover in the past. You may remember what happened between the two of you but don’t dwell on it. If you do, then you will allow a previous affiliation to have a bearing on your current and future relationships.

That’s foolish! A bad dating or relationship experience from the past can make you hesitant to try dating. Since you are still in pain, you will feel stressed, bitter, and too frustrated to enter into a new relationship.

Don’t talk about your past relationships with your potential partners. Imagine a situation where you end up talking negatively about your ex. It shows you cannot be trusted to keep secrets from your relationships. So, avoid renewing old wounds. Instead, focus on what you have in the present.

  1. Be Yourself All the Time

To attract guys into their lives, some women mistakenly think they should change who they are. They forget that authentic things sell better than fake ones. It is a mistake to change your behavior according to what you think a man wants.

As time goes, it will be impossible for you to sustain the fake personality. When the man discovers who you are, he will not hesitate to end the relationship. So always strive to be yourself.

In her book How to Be Yourself, Ellen Hendriksen suggests several ways to do it. If you love sports, tell your man about it. Are you fascinated with exercise and healthy living? Why don’t you tell your man about it? Forget about how society expects a woman to behave.

When you are yourself, a man will quickly determine whether you are compatible or not. A relationship should end in its infancy than after you have invested too much in it. Some guys even consider women who are themselves a great turn-on.

Related Article: The Ultimate: 17 Ways to Get a Guy Attention.

  1. Make the First Move

Say what? Yes. Make the first move. You have met a guy you really like. However, you can’t bring yourself to tell him how you are feeling.

In a study, 94 percent of men said they like women who make the first move in a social setting such as a bar. When it comes to online dating, 96 percent of them said they like it when a woman sends the first message.

So, don’t be afraid to make the first move. Perhaps, the guy is shy and unable to voice it out. Or, he hasn’t noticed the signs you have been leaving everywhere for him.

Sometimes you don’t have to say anything. Reach out to him and hold hands, lean in and kiss him, wrap your arms around him and cuddle, and so on. Subtly, you will be telling the guy just how much you are interested in him.

Photo by tim mossholder from pixels

  1. Steer Clear of One-Night Stands

What is a one-night stand? Essentially, it is a relationship that is not expected to last beyond one night of sex.

As John Ramsey says in his book One Night Stand, guys like it when they get such cheap hook-ups. They have no reason to work hard for anything. So, if you want to know how to become the girl guys want to date, steer clear of such cheap liaisons.

If you aren’t in a real relationship, don’t visit a guy at night. It doesn’t matter how much a guy insists. You will know a guy with great character by how much he is willing to wait.

So, refuse to get intimate and gauge how he reacts. If he tries to force you into it, then the guy isn’t worth your attention. A real man will be ready to work to win your love.


Who doesn’t want to know how to become the girl guys want to date? Men will see you as a potential date if you portray a confident posture. When you come off as desperate, no man would want anything to do with you.

So, the best advice we can give you is to work on yourself. Build and live a life any man would want to be part of. If you were hurt in a past relationship, get over it. Men want to date well-packaged women who are confident with who they are. That’s what you should strive to be.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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