How to Fix Broken Relationship With An Ex-Girlfriend

By David Small •  Updated: 09/24/18 •  11 min read

Are you trying to fix your relationship with your ex-girlfriend that seems broken beyond repair? It may seem like it isn’t much you can do to get back together with an ex-girlfriend you love. You need to understand is that there will be ups and downs in your relationships because that’s what happens to all couples. But just how do you rebuild a broken relationship?

How To Fix Broken Relationship With An Ex-girlfriend

As an individual, you need to know the role you’ve played to make things the way they are.

What can you do to fix it? How can you get your girlfriend back? Of course, there is a lot you can do! Whether you succeed or not will largely depend on how your girlfriend reacts.

While she may not want anything to do with you, don’t be afraid to try! Even the hardest rock is broken down by the constant and sustained pounding of the hammer. So keep fighting for your relationship.

How Do You Rebuild A Broken Relationship?

If that is the question on your mind, you may want to try any of the following strategies to get your ex-girlfriend back:

  1. Know Your Role in the Relationship Woes

It takes two to tango. So if you are having trouble in your relationship, it is highly likely that you played a major role in causing the problem. As Michael Sweeney says in his book: Get Her Back, FOR MEN ONLY, you need to find out how exactly you contributed to worsening the situation.

Be critical of your role in the whole thing but avoid judging yourself too harshly. Once you discover the truth, forgive yourself and your partner. Say, you have been cheating on your girlfriend and she has only recently discovered the truth. Take a rear view of your relationship and discover where the rain started beating you. Apologize to your girlfriend and commit no to repeat it. Let your ex-girlfriend know that you are willing to change for the better and let your actions speak for you.

  1. Be Responsible For Your Own Needs

In the book: How to Get Your Ex Back in 25 Days, Veronica Isles says it is not possible for a woman to meet a man’s entire emotional needs. Neither can your girlfriend! Just like everyone else, you are responsible for your well-being both at the personal level and in the relationship. While analyzing your role in the entire debacle, you might just discover you haven’t been very responsible for your emotional well-being.

In most cases, women prefer to stay with men who are more emotionally balanced than the rest. If you are prone to making emotional outbursts, chances are you might find it hard reconnecting with your ex-girlfriend. Soon after breaking up, avoid trying to win them back through an emotional letter. Due to its emotional nature, the letter may just end up spoiling your chances of getting back together.

  1. Spend Time Away From Each Other

Breakups can be noisy and messy. But did you know the two of you will end up missing each other after only a few days? Get it into your head that things are no longer as they used to be. As much as the two of you miss each other, avoid meeting or chatting with each other soon after the breakup.

Give your girlfriend time to adjust to the realities of the breakup. It takes time to go through the painful effects of a breakup. If both of you fail to deal with the emotional pain and get healing, the chances of you getting back together will be diminished. According to The Ex Recovery Blueprint by Zac Miller, make sure you give your girlfriend time to miss you.  It is during this period when you are seeing less of each other that you can assess whether you really need to get back together.

  1. Conjure the Best Memories with your Ex-Girlfriend

When you are finally able to see your ex-girlfriend, talk about the good old times when you were happy together. Whether you meet face-to-face or send a text message, make sure they know what could have been. John Alexander says as much in her book: Re-Attraction, How to Get Your Woman Back in 30 Days or Less. Be careful not to do it openly. After all, it is not your intention to cause your girlfriend further heartache. You can do it by asking a question.

Say you once went hiking in the mountains in your neighborhood. Why don’t you send them a text asking for directions to the place? Without being very obvious concerning your intentions, you will succeed in helping your girlfriend start to miss what you had together.

  1. Avoid Flirting With Other Women in Their Sight

There are times when both of you will be invited to a party where other women would be in attendance. Don’t go flirting with other women in your woman’s sight. It doesn’t help when you are doing everything to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. If anything, how do you rebuild a broken relationship when you have shown your girlfriend that you cannot be trusted?

While you may want to make everyone see you’re soaring popularity, you will only end up alienating your girlfriend. To have realistic chances of fixing your relationship, you have to approach it with the seriousness it deserves. As George Klein says in his book: Get Your Ex Back, your partner needs to know you have no one else to run to. That will not only increase your chances of reconciling but also show her how remorseful you are about your past mistakes.

  1. Don’t Make a Fuss Out Of It

One of the major reasons people break up is when they begin to get on each other’s nerves. So, don’t repeat your mistakes! As it is written in How to Get Your Ex Back by Ryan Morris, it doesn’t matter how much you are hurt and broken. Pouring all your emotions on your girlfriend is a no-no. What fussing does is to worsen a bad situation. If your girlfriend left you because of your emotional outbursts, there are no chances of reconciliation.

Why don’t you change tack and try to be nice to her? If you were planning to revenge, don’t! So, how do you rebuild a broken relationship when you are only trying to remind them how they heart you? Taking that road would not lead you anywhere. You need to let bygones be bygones if you want to get your woman back. It’s time to be nice, for once!

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  1. Build Greater Trust in Each Other

Being emotionally explosive in the face of a breakup is normal. But that doesn’t mean you can’t rebuild the trust you once shared. You might disagree on what the real cause of the problem is but that doesn’t mean you keep bashing each other.

To have realistic chances of getting back together, learn to trust her. Shomarri R. Diaz says as much in his book: The Break-up Guide for Men – How to Get Your Ex Back. You have to get to a point where you view your ex through positive lenses. Trust that they truly intend to mend the relationship. Once you reach a common understanding, no reason will prevent you from making the relationship stronger.

  1. Plan to Have Common Fun Activities

The fact that your relationship has just broken up doesn’t mean the two of you are enemies. To create realistic chances of rebuilding the relationship, you must plan to have fun a time together. It doesn’t matter how far back you had a similar exercise.

Take your girlfriend on a picnic in the park and remind yourselves what a great couple you are. There is no better way of remembering what brought you together in the first place. With time, you will start drawing back together in a better and stronger way.

  1. Revamp Your Sex Live

For how long has your sex life been on its deathbed? Could that be the reason for the breakup? Just how do you rebuild a broken relationship style=”font-weight: 400;”> when you are having little or no sex? You cannot talk about having a strong relationship when there is no sex life to write home about.

These are the views of Leko Diarmuid in his book: Get Your Ex Back. So work on bettering the situation in the bedroom! It is only after connecting at the physical level that you will be able to start dealing with the other problems in the relationship.

It is likely that your girlfriend has been complaining about your seemingly low libido. Also, you might have lost interest in your partner because of infidelity. If you have repented your past misdeeds, why don’t you take the next step and reconnect with your woman sexually? In a way, you will be able to reassure her that no other person matters more.

  1. Know Why You Stay In the Relationships

Are you one of the people who get into relationships for the wrong reasons? What’s the reason for seeking to get back with your girlfriend? Is it because you are lonely and bored? If all you want is to create some excitement in your life, then you are staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons.

Granted, remaining single is not just uncomfortable but unsettling too. For most individuals, having a girlfriend is what makes them feel complete. Why don’t you approach it differently? Work towards reconciling with your girlfriend because you have a contribution to make.

As Kimberly Peters says in How to Get Your Ex Back, you need to take time and work on yourself first. Develop a healthy lifestyle and find ways of having fun. When you eventually get back with your ex-girlfriend, you will be better prepared to make the relationship work.

  1. Learn From Past Mistakes

It is not easy for a man to learn anything from their past mistakes. All that can be blamed on a fragile ego, which is so easy to prick. Just how do you rebuild a broken relationship when you cannot change? The reason for the broken relationship might be because of the mistakes you made.

Is it something you said or did? According to Christian Neumaler, in the book: How to Get Your Ex Back, it is not enough to apologize. To make up for your past mistakes, you must work ten times harder and that involves learning from it all. Don’t try to rebuild your relationship at all costs. Pick the key lessons you have learned and implement the necessary changes. Your former girlfriend might take notice and make up her mind to hook up with you for a lifetime!

  1. Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

One of the attributes that women expect in a man is confidence. It doesn’t necessarily mean being able to talk before a crowd. Rather, you are expected to be comfortable in your own skin. To feel good about yourself, you have to work both on your inner and outer self.

Simple actions such as weight loss, smelling good, dressing well, and eating healthy can get you off to a good start. Trustin Gavin says as much inI Want My Ex Back – How to Reverse The Break-Up and Get Your Ex Back Like a Pro’. With time, you will start to ooze confidence, which is the very thing women are looking for in a man.

The reason to address your physical appearance is that most men feel insecure about their looks. If you are one of the few that do not have such issues, then don’t worry. Your ex-girlfriend doesn’t want you to be the most smartly dressed man. If that was so, then you would never have broken up in the first place.  Be comfortable in your own skin and she will take notice. In no time at all, you will get back together.

In Conclusion,

What if your girlfriend isn’t ready to take you back? Prepare yourself for any eventuality. Even with all that, try your best. If it doesn’t work, move on. It could be that your ex-girlfriend has decided on a permanent separation. Don’t force things! For as long as you live, finding love with another person is always a possibility.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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