How to Flirt with Men:11 Proven Ways

By David Small •  Updated: 05/29/20 •  13 min read

One of the biggest problems that women face is how to flirt with men. Luckily, it is possible to develop flirting skills, no matter your level of experience.

We are not talking about you trying to be slutty or loose. For you to get the man you want, you need to flirt with him healthily.

Scientific studies have shown that flirting, when correctly done, can attract men better than fabulous looks.

In fact, men will not approach you just because you are attractive. Instead, they will watch out for how you project confidence and availability by working on your flirting skills.


How Do You Flirt With A Guy To Make Him Want You?

As a woman, you have to learn how to effectively converse with men.

However, you have to start by going out there, meeting with great people, and striking a conversation. You should be ready to strike it out with just about anyone – including strangers.

While at it, you should try to make yourself look friendlier and approachable. The purpose is to make men naturally respond to and want to be with you.

In other words, you should be able to make the man feel suitable for being in your company. Even though you shouldn’t expect anything in return, you are going to attract lots of men.

So, how do you do it? We discuss easy ways to flirt with men below:

  1. Compliment the Men You Meet

One of the best techniques to flirt with men is to hand our compliments to the people you meet.

However, it has to be with a lot of sincerity without expecting anything in return. If you appear to be sucking up to a man, he will definitely be turned off.

Avoid giving out phony compliments. Instead, put a lot of thought into what you do. Look for things that people consider essential and praise them accordingly.

You have to be always on the lookout for something that you could compliment a man about. Find a way of making him feel good about himself.

According to Rachel Dealto, a flirting expert, flirting often begins with a sincere compliment. The whole idea behind it is to give attention to the other person and make him feel good.

A genuine compliment only enhances it. What if the man doesn’t like you? He doesn’t have to. What you should aim at is to give praise for the sake of it

. If he responds positively, then you can start a whole new conversation. Ask him questions without appearing to be too intrusive.

Seek to establish rapport between the two of you. If he asks for your phone number, then you would realize the compliment was all worthwhile.

  1. Light and Fun Does It

Being a skilled flirt has a lot to do with your personality. Even if you do not have a naturally pleasant personality, you should always try to project a positive attitude.

Every time you do it, you will notice that the people around you are catching the same vibe. So, seek to match (or up) your energy levels with the person you are talking to. We aren’t suggesting that you become too hyperactive.

However, you could try some simple steps. Firstly, you should avoid overthinking. If you keep listening to your inner chatter, you will not become as flirtatious as you should be.

Avoid overworking to sound smart or witty. You don’t want to be thinking about your next statement instead of listening to the other person.

How can you have a conversation in such circumstances? It would be impossible for you to flirt with a man, no matter how hard you try. By staying in tune with the conversation, you will make the whole session a lot of fun. Relax, and just talk.

In addition to being less tense, you will also project positive non-verbal communication cues. Whether it works or it doesn’t, at least you would have tried. Isn’t that the whole point of flirting?

5 Irresistible Ways to Flirt With Men

  1. Establish Eye Contact and Smile

You are going about your business unbothered by what’s happening around you. At a distance, you spot a man you think is really “hot.” You can’t speak to him at that moment.

The best way to show your interest in him is to establish eye contact. As soon as your eyes lock, make it linger for a while before looking away.

Likely the man will show interest and start pursuing you. Only ensure that you do not stare at him for too long. Creating a little mystery would make the man want to continue you.

It is not enough to establish eye contact with the object of your desire. According to psychologist Dr. Monica Moore, smiling signals interest in your subject. As your eyes lock into each other, add in a smile. That way, the man will become aware of your feelings towards him.

The opposite is to establish eye contact while maintaining a cold, distant expression. You could look into his eyes for a whole day, but the man isn’t going to develop an interest in you. So, quit playing mind games with the guy. You need to smile right at him to appear approachable and inviting.

  1. Showing Genuine Interest

You don’t have to be smart or witty to be a great conversationalist. It is not about showing your significant accomplishments, either. Instead, it is about knowing how to listen to the other person. So, how do you do that? You need to learn how to give the man undivided attention.

Ask him the right questions without getting too intrusive. Make him feel like no one else in the room is as important as him. This sensation is addictive and will leave him asking for more.

Don’t fake it! Show genuine curiosity in the man and his life. Ask about his family, hobbies, and so on. However, don’t make it look like you are holding an interview. To show that you are actively listening to him, ask follow-up questions on things you would like clarified.

Remain attentive and still as he speaks. Don’t say too much when he stops talking. That’s not a way to show genuine interest. Instead, it will show the man how much you care about voicing your opinions.

You can show your interest in him by using his name often. That will definitely draw you closer emotionally. Without realizing it, you will be in a genuinely intimate relationship.

  1. Use Lots of Playful Touches

Flirting with men may also involve elements of touch but not weirdly so. It only takes a gentle touch to make a man know you like him.

In her book Tickle His Pickle, Sadie Allison M.D. suggests using flirtatious touching to show you are into him. In another study, a gentle touch is the best when it comes to flirting. Tap him on the arm if you are just getting to know him.

However, you should keep it clean so as not to project the wrong idea. He only needs you to have light affection towards him. You may also touch his arm, face, or hair.

Another decent touch is a brush on the chest – only that it should be able to the belly. The man is going to develop an interest in you on the spot.

As you progress in the relationship, you may get comfortable touching his neck. That will show him that you would like it if he kisses you. At later stages, you may feel him inside his thighs.

If you do that early on, the man may find it too intrusive.

  1. Subtly and Innocently Seduce Your Man

You don’t have to voice your intentions when flirting with a man. Give out subtle signs that make it possible for you to innocently seduce him.

It doesn’t have to involve putting on revealing outfits or too much makeup. Innocent flirting is done correctly with subtle, not-so-obvious cues. Just by looking at you, the guy will clearly see your intention.

Everyone else might not know what’s going on. So, play with your clothes, hair, and jewelry to attract his attention. Keep running fingers in your hair or occasionally bite your lower lip. While he is speaking, keep moving your eyes between his eyes and lips. Lean forward to show you are listening attentively.

Researchers in Australia found that leaning forward is an effective way of flirting with men. According to the research results, women who tilt their heads forward are considered to be more alluring.

Adopting that posture will make a man fall for you quicker than you would have expected.

  1. Apply Wit and Humor

Want to know how to flirt with men? Use wit and humor to significant effect. Studies by the Social Issues Research Center (SIRC) show that adding fun into a conversation can improve how you flirt.

People perceive humorous people as more likable, which enhances their ability to flirt with men. Also, telling lots of jokes can make a conversation more relaxed, an attribute that enhances the art of flirtation.

Now you have no reason to avoid adding witty or humorous remarks in your communications with men. If anything, your man will like you for your witty comments. He will find you funny and likable. Also, use humor to tease him. You will be surprised by how much he likes it.

However, the comments should come naturally rather than being forced. Don’t cross the line. Overly sarcastic remarks or cheesy flirtatious lines will make you look aggressive and awkward.

Ensure you say things that make him laugh out loud. If it doesn’t tickle him, then he might not be on the same page when it comes to humor. You may have to listen to his jokes to know where to start.

Authentic Ways to Get Him Interested

  1. Be the Lady You Are

Some women erroneously think they will win over men by acting like one of them. No wonder so many are trying the tomboy thing with new guys. That’s not advisable.

If you should do it, then it should be way into the relationship. That way, you will be free to go out and play a sport with him. With guys, you have just met for the first time, seek to maintain a feminine look.

According to Dr. Allison, men are more attracted to a woman’s feminine qualities than anything else. If you can show it to him, the man is likely to consider you as a potential mate. Don’t be surprised if he wants you to meet his mom.

So, replace the pair of jeans with an attractive red dress. Due to its sharpness, red will draw attention to you. The Huffington Post calls it “the red dress effect.” Apart from helping you attract men’s attention, a red dress signals readiness to accept advances from a man. Of course, that might not be your intention every time you adorn a red dress.

However, it is something that will get you in the right direction as far as flirting with men is concerned. Another weapon in your quiver is your feminine voice. If you want to show a man you are interested in him, turn on the sexy tone in your voice. You know what we mean, don’t you?

Avoid shouting or sounding arrogant. Instead, tilt the tone of voice to speak quickly and smoothly. Ensure the man catches the intent in your voice. That way, you wouldn’t even have to say anything sensible.

  1. Exude a High Level of Confidence

Are you too shy to tell a man what you want? Try to be confident for once. Your confidence will be seen right as you walk into the room. Learn to strut into spaces like the owner. Any man would want to get to know you better.

However, confidence is much more than just how you walk. Your posture also matters. Did you know you can show how confident you are by adopting the right stance? As we said earlier, confidence equals attractiveness.

According to researchers from Colorado College, standing up straight shows, you are confident. It also indicates you are consciously trying to move your body to flirt with a guy in the room.

In all other aspects, you should strive to portray a more carefree, self-assured attitude. Develop an energetic, optimistic disposition to attract men to you.

Sometimes you may find it impossible to be confident. Well, you could just fake it until it catches on. Luckily, you do not have to pretend it for long before it catches on.

Playful Flirting Secrets Men Can’t Resist

  1. Try Bumping Into Him Accidentally

When you get the opportunity to be in the same room with him, take advantage of it. You don’t have to look like you are following him all over.

However, try to be where he is quietly and try to catch his attention. If you see him standing next to the local restaurant, walk-in and order a meal.

Make an effort to be accidentally bumping into him from time to time. If he is in the company of one of your friends, don’t hesitate to join him. While at it, make sure he notices you.

However, avoid putting yourself under too much pressure. If, after doing everything, the man still doesn’t see your moves, move on.

As you try to get noticed by your crush, avoid being too clingy. You don’t want the man to see you like an obsessed woman he should try to avoid. If you have bumped into him several times, he should be able to notice you. If he doesn’t, avoid taking drastic measures such as hugging him.

Instead of getting his attention, you will only succeed in pushing him away. Another effective strategy is to ignore him when you bump into him in a public place.

  1. Mimic the Man’s Posture (Or Adopt the Right One)

Mimicry or mirroring a man’s posture is an effective way of showing interest in him. There is no better way to show you are reading from the same page. If he is sitting with his hand on the table, try mimicking it.

You might not be saying anything out loud, but the man will subconsciously know you are interested in him. Whether he intends to or he doesn’t, the man will find himself in a relationship with you. Even as you try that, be more intentional in your motives. Sit while pointing or outstretching your feet towards him.

The Telegraph reports the results of a study that established that women slide feet towards men they like. However, if you sit with your legs crossed under you, the man will know you aren’t interested in him.


Flirting with men shouldn’t be so hard. After all, men get attracted to beautiful women at sight. You only need to show up, exhibit a level of confidence, and say the right things.

However, you should avoid being outright obvious in your intentions. The not-so-obvious, subtle signs will make a man fall for you quicker than you might expect.

Turn on your feminine looks and use humor to your advantage. We can assure you that if you do all that, no man will be able to ignore you.

How to Flirt with Men 11 Proven Ways

How to Flirt with Men 11 Proven Ways

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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