How to Romance Your Wife: 21 Proven Ways

By David Small •  Updated: 09/05/22 •  13 min read

When you met your wife, you felt at home. You were in love and went out on date nights and participated in fun activities. But soon after marrying her, you stopped trying hard to make her feel loved.

It doesn’t have to be so! You must learn how to romance your wife to keep the spark in your marriage. You can take simple steps in simple everyday things to show love to your wife.

The problem is that many men have no idea how to do that. This article provides practical ideas on how to romance your wife.


1. Make Your Wife Feel Special

When was the last time you made your wife feel special? After being married for a while, it’s easy to assume that all is well in your relationship. With time, your wife may feel unloved.

You can change that by expressing your love to her. Do something special for her often. It doesn’t have to be expensive to be special.

Simple things like sending her a text expressing love for her can make a huge difference. Bring flowers with you and leave love notes all over the house.

2. Spend Lots of Time with Her

All it takes to romance your wife is spending lots of time with her. But that’s easier said than done. While taking care of the kids, juggling careers, and attending to other responsibilities, you may forget to work on your relationship.

Due to the lack of intimate moments, your wife may feel unvalued. It worsens if all your focus is on your work and friends. To avoid a broken marriage, step back, think, and create memories with your wife by spending time with her.

You don’t have to spend a whole day together! From your busy schedule, you can devote 30 minutes exclusively to her. Stop everything else and let her know you’re there for her. Talk about what went down in each other’s lives during the day.

3. Show Kindness to Your Wife

Kindness is a virtue on which you can build a great marriage relationship. So, romance your wife by being gentle, patient, and helpful. Help with household chores without being prodded. Remember, the chores are perpetual. So, divide tasks and play a bigger role in running the household.

Mind your language during an argument with your wife. Don’t yell or shout. Instead, sit down and discuss issues calmly. Support her during the hard times in her work. Provide s safe zone by always having her back. Let her know you’ll always be there for her.

4. Take Her Out on Date Nights

Married couples tend to take each other’s presence for granted. With each of you working hard to build a career, finding time to go on a date can be difficult. Similarly, taking care of the kids requires lots of hard work. Therefore, your relationship may suffer.

But you do not have to resign to fate! Plan for regular date nights to romance your wife. Pick a day when you can take her out once a week. Tell your wife about it and make arrangements to actualize the date nights.

If you have young kids, arrange for babysitters to take care of them. With regular date nights, you can make your wife feel pampered and romanced. Ultimately, it is easier to accomplish your other goals when your wife is stress-free.

Related: 31 Daily Habits That Will Make A Marriage Stronger.

5. Create the Mood for Intimacy

One of the ways to romance your wife is to be more physically intimate with her. Besides initiating intimate moments in your bedroom, spice up things by doing the little things that matter. Take your time during foreplay to build the mood for an intimate encounter.

But how do you create the mood for intimacy? Light candles, play sensual music and create time to be alone with your wife. Also, you may put your wife in the mood by gifting her with lingerie. Ask her to wear the lingerie for a romantic encounter.

6. Rediscover the Fun in Chasing Your Wife All Over Again

Do you recall the fun you had chasing your wife? How charming were you back then? Possibly, you were more courteous, loving, and humorous. Besides your personality, your wife must have fallen in love with your never-say-die spirit.

But now, life seems to have taken its toll, and you no longer strive to unleash your charm on her. You no longer chase your wife. Why don’t you bring back the charm that wowed her? Start chasing your wife all over again and make her feel wanted. With time, she would see your undying love for her and reciprocate appropriately.

7. Tell Your Wife she is Beautiful

Women dress up for something! They want to know they’re looking good. It is good if you’re the one to tell her about it. She will not only feel good but also know you love her.

While at it, avoid comparing your wife with other women. Don’t criticize her for not looking like an actress. Instead, love her unconditionally and help her feel great about her body.

Tell her she looks good even when she’s drenched in sweat after house chores. Let her know that she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. Romance your wife that way, and you’ll experience a positive bump in your romantic life.

Romance Your Wife

Photo by Leah Kelley on

8. Share Light Moments with Her

Laugh with your wife, and you’ll likely stay together for longer. Stay at home in the evening and watch a comedy show or movie. As part of your date night, attend a standup comedy show where you can have good laughs.

The idea is to do everything you can to laugh together. Work on your sense of humor. Tell a funny story once in a while. You will lighten and relieve her stress and build your relationship bond.

9. Plan Trips with Your Wife

You can revive romance in your relationship by planning a trip together. A vacation can bring you together unlike anything you have tried before. It can be something as simple as a weekend trip. When you have the time, take a long trip. Or take a staycation.

What matters is that you can spend a substantial length of time together. As you do so, you’ll restore the romance you had lost somewhere along the way.

And don’t carry work on vacation. Let both of you take a break from the pressures of work and other responsibilities. Pick a place in a nature resorts where you can have nothing but each other’s company.

10. Public Display of Affection

Nothing melts a woman’s heart like being romantic with her in public. So, a public display of affection (PDA) is the best way to romance your wife.

However, it doesn’t have to be anything excessive. Simple things like holding your wife’s hands or looking into her eyes with love can go a long way.

Put your arm around your wife or pull her close during a photo session. Don’t worry about her blushing. Your wife would enjoy the attention and love they get from you.

Related: 7 tips That Will Save A Marriage From Brink Of Divorce.

11. Discard Undesirable Habits

Has your wife been telling you to get rid of or change anything? Take her advice seriously and stop doing things that annoy your wife. It could be your smoking or drinking habit. Regardless of the difficulty, getting rid of the habit shows how much you value your wife.

Perhaps you eat out too much, spend excessive time with your buddies, and waste time playing video games. Whatever irks your wife isn’t worth it. Stop it and create time to romance your wife more than usual.

But as they say, ‘Old habits die hard!’ The sooner you start working on it, the easier you can get rid of it. As difficult as it seems, it can bring harmony to your marriage.

12. Encourage Your Wife to Pursue Her Dreams

What goals or desires has your wife put off because of marriage? Encourage her to pursue her dreams. If all she ever wanted was to write a book, encourage her to do it.

Or support her to acquire a first, second, or third degree if that’s what she wants. That’s not just a way of conveying your love to her but also romancing your wife. As she works on improving herself, she will get closer to you and build a closer relationship.

13. Play with and Tease Your Wife

It cannot be easy to romance your wife without friendship. As friends, you can build a stronger love bond free from boundaries and other formalities. Lighten the environment in your house by teasing your wife. With that, you’ll build a lasting friendship and strengthen your marriage.

Life is serious! But that doesn’t mean always being uptight. Give your wife a pet name, play hide-and-seek, and do special nothings together. Create ways to enjoy each other’s company to get over work- and relationship-related stresses.

14. Exercise Courtesy with Your Wife

Do you remember the time when you treated your wife with utmost courtesy? But it has been torn since you treated her with the respect she deserves! Why? You can romance your wife simply by showing her courtesy.

If you had stopped showing courtesy to her, change. Pull chairs, open doors, and give her your full attention. When in a conversation with her, look straight into her eyes. With that, she would know she is the utmost center of attraction.

Besides, showing her how much you love her shows you’re a gentleman, respectful, faithful, well-mannered, modest, and generous. She can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.

15. Respect Your Wife

Marriage relationships stand on trust and respect! But men often misconceive trust to mean being considerate of her only in social settings. Instead, you should show respect to your wife even when alone in the house or elsewhere.

But respect goes beyond the things you do when you’re together. When you promise her something, be sure to do it. For instance, if you promise to take her on a date night, avail yourself early enough to actualize it. Don’t frustrate her by calling in with an excuse.

16. Learn Her Love Language and Act Accordingly

What is your wife’s love language? She certainly has unique ways of feeling romantic. So, the best way to romance your wife is to learn and work within her love language.

For example, your wife may love it when you give a helping hand with the chores. Or she wants you to compliment her. Others may love it when you bring flowers and other small gifts. Find out what makes your wife happy and do it for her.

As a newly-married couple, it might be a while before knowing how to treat your wife. With time, you will understand her better. If you’re unsure, ask her what you can do for her. Once you start, it would be extremely easy to romance your wife that way.

Romance Your Wife

Photo by Kindel Media on

17. Buy Gifts for Your Wife

How often do you buy gifts for your wife? Do you wait until her birthday or anniversary? If so, you should think of getting her a gift on regular days.

It doesn’t have to be anything expensive. What matters is the thought you put into the gift. It could be a simple chocolate bar, a bouquet, or a romantic card.

Ensure you give something when she’s least expecting it. Ideally, it should be something she likes. If you have no idea, talk to her friend to find out the thing she’s been longing for. No matter what it is, wrap the gift beautifully.

Instead of bringing it home, you could send flowers to her office. Add a card with an appropriate message and set the stage for a romantic evening later.

18. Avoid Criticizing Your Wife Negatively

Do you criticize or demean your wife? Regardless of how much you try to romance her, she may never appreciate your efforts. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t correct her.

Pick the right time to tell her about things she should change. Tell her about it in a constructive, sensitive way. It is best to talk about some issues privately. Doing so in public will only hurt her and make it difficult for her to continue loving you.

How you pass across your message also matters. Instead of being harsh and direct, adopt a gentle mien. Avoid saying something that your wife wouldn’t like to hear. With that, you may only escalate the situation.

19. Step Up in Your Responsibilities

Do you want to romance your wife more effectively? Good marriage relationships are more than just about being sweet towards each other. You must also rise to the occasion and take up your responsibilities as a father.

Don’t leave everything to your wife. Help the kids with homework, play with them, and drop and pick them up from school. Also, provide for your family financially, materially, and otherwise.

By stepping up to be a man and father in your house, you’re likely to encourage your wife to be receptive to your romantic overtures. Otherwise, the ensuing conflict about neglected responsibilities would make romance impossible.

20. Tell Her You Love Her

When it comes to romancing your wife, simple gestures like telling her, “I love you,” can go a long way. So, look into her eyes and tell her how much you love her. The best time is when she’s least expecting it.

For couples who’ve been married for many years, saying “I love you” can be difficult. So, you should come up with creative ways of doing it. For example, write a romantic note and leave it on the kitchen counter.

Alternatively, leave random letters or poems in places where your wife can easily find them. Use it as an opportunity to explain why you love your wife.

21. Admit when you’re wrong

It takes a mature man to admit when he’s wrong. That could be you if you stop insisting on having your way. When faced with a significant decision, listen to your wife’s ideas. After all, agreeing to her ideas does not make you a lesser man.

You can make your wife feel less respected and loved when you’re too controlling. It shows you’re prideful and better than her. Regardless of how good her idea is, you must find something wrong with it.

No matter how hard it is, learn to admit when you’re wrong. When you start agreeing to your wife’s ideas, she will feel loved, respected, and appreciated.

The Bottom Line

Now that you know how to romance your wife, you should make your marriage stronger. After spending many years together, you might have grown apart. But with deliberate steps, you can reignite the spark of love in your relationship.

So, take her out on date nights, purchase her gifts, spend time with her, show her respect, and tell her you love her. You don’t have to spend much money to please your wife. It is the little things of life that make marriages work.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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