How To Get Your Husband In The Mood When He’s Tired

By David Small •  Updated: 08/18/17 •  12 min read

Sometimes you might be in the mood for making love while your husband is not feeling the same way. In this guide, you will find out how to kickstart his desire even when it is obvious he doesn’t want to.

This phenomenon, however, is seldom talked about in today’s world. However, it happens, and it does many times and all the time.


It can be very disheartening too if you are looking for or in need of an intimate time. From time to time, your husband might just not simply be in the mood. But this will help you bring him in the mood.

Several reasons exist why men may just not be in the lovemaking mode. Perhaps he had a long day. He might be tired or stressed. He might just do not think to make love well to you that day, and he does not want to feel embarrassed being turned down.

In any case, this can go a long way to dampen your morale. Most especially if you anticipate spending time with him. This might make you feel angry. You might think he doesn’t want to make love to you. Or thoughts that he might be seeing someone else might flood your mind. And this may in fact not be his reason.

There are two distinct methods I want to share in this post on how to arouse your husband to make love. Feel free to try out anyone you feel comfortable with, and you might also mix them up a bit if you choose to.

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Method one: Ways to arouse your man to make love even if he isn’t in the mood 

When you are prepared to make love and he is not, but you need him to, there are some things that can make him forget he was not in the mood, and he will focus his undivided attention on you. There are 12 ways I want to point out below, so creep into a sexy stuff and get ready to wake up your man, it doesn’t matter if he’s not in the sexy mood!

Use the color effect

Do you know why Valentine is all about red colors? It is because red has been attached to arousal. So use the color red to induce your man to make love to you. Wear beautiful red dresses. Make sure it’s romantic.

Your bed sheet?

You might not know, but when your bed sheet is new, it might spark the desire in him to make love on it. This might be why it feels different to make love in the hotel. So get a new bedspread. Make the bed different. Make it beautiful!

Help him rest

If he is tired, he wouldn’t want to make love. If your guy is not in tune for making love, one of the reasons might be that he stressed. You need to help him to rest. Get him a glass of his favorite wine, get dinner prepared, put on his Best TV program

Inquire if there is something he would like you to help him do, and do it for him. Soon he will feel relaxed and more apt to do what you want!


Give a Massage

To help him relax even further, try to offer him a massage with hot oil.  It’ll be difficult and almost impossible for anyone to reject this. Take off his clothes, brush him with oil, and soon I’m sure he will be willing to make love at this point.

Go ahead and take your clothes off halfway into this. Yes, why not?  He is indirectly prepared for you, why not show him you are set too. Moreover, your hands are slowly working way down his body, and there is little or no way for him to resist.

Get attractive (a red lingerie would do)

Who doesn’t know men are visual beings, it’s now time to work on his eyes. If he doesn’t feel you, it might be because you are in your work clothes, it’s time to put on some of your favorite sexy lingerie, and you will be sure he’ll set his eyes on you, and indeed get in the mood.

Get ahead by making sure that you’re in your lingerie while serving him dinner and when pouring him a drink. Seeing that you are in your lingerie while doing him a favor will increase his urge no matter what mood he is.


I don’t mean you should trade punches, but men love it when their women attempt to get physical (albeit jokingly) so go ahead and tickle fight. Tickle him in bed and make him aroused. It’s called knismolagnia. This might transform into lovemaking.

Put him in suspense

At this point, things are getting intense. Get into your bedroom, off your clothes and send a text, tell him that you’re patiently waiting in bed. He’s curious, and this curiosity will make him wonder what’s in stock for him.

If you mind taking it a step further, send him a photograph of how you look exactly in bed; the second you hit send, he will be at the door.

Give him Ideas

Get yourself closer to him and whisper in his ear and tell him exactly what you’d want him to do to you in the bedroom. At this point, he will start picturing all of what you’re telling him while you’re still just whispering in his ear. He might attempt to jump out of the couch and go straight into the room!

Be sensual

When you are sensual, all he thinks is how to make love.

Now, leaned forward and kissed him in a long but slow way, and then walk away without saying anything else. He’d be surprised, curious and want to know what else you’ve got for him. This is a very sexy gesture which will arouse him!

Smell Good

If you want to turn him on in the most subtle way, simply wear a little of his favorite perfume and then place yourself at a distance far enough but good for him to smell it. He will not only be attracted by the smell but also appreciate that you try to make him get in the good mood in subtle ways.


Reminisce your first Lovemaking

You might remind him of that night, or evening, or morning, whatever time it is you both had your first lovemaking. And tell him your favorite moments: What you loved and how much you want to do these things again.

It is possible he was eager to get intimate with you on the first night, and by reminding him, his memory would do the work for you and trigger his desires.

Use Music

At this point, you need to get the environment prepared. Dim the lights, put on your lingerie, then turn up that sexy music! When you put on some romantic music, he will know for sure you are up for business.

To perform well on him, put some music that makes sense regarding the time you spend in the bedroom. This could be your wedding song or the song that played during your first time, and it doesn’t matter, what this will do is to drive his mind back to what he wanted then and how much he wanted it. And then it will surely inspire him a lot.

Get Physical

Get very close to your man, get a minute or two of cuddling, and then get his hands exactly where you want them, this will not only make him erotic but also make him wonder what he could be doing with his hands there.

Place his focus on you

It’s time for action. But sadly, men are quite easily distracted. This although might be mean, it is however true. If there is a football game on, or his best show is on TV, or if there is anything to take his attention from you, he might not be willing to take his attention off it to please you.

Take charge, turn it off.  Whatever it is, turn it off. Turn off the TV, put his phone away, climb right on his lap, and demand for his undivided attention. There is no other way to set your man on fire, even though he is not in the mood


Men love it when a woman is in charge, get to your feet and tell him you want it with him tonight, so he had better get in the mood before you force him to. If you are not one who is always daring, he will be intrigued and also surprised.

This will make him think of what you are telling him to do and will make his curiosity push him to find out what you want for him.

Method 2: Arouse your man with words 

It may first seem to you that you have to be a dirty talk professional to get this, but in fact, some few lines are all that’s needed.

Never at any time underestimate the power words carry when turning him on is your plan. Here are some few tips to make him get in the mood with words.

I can tell you want to turn him on, but wearing your lingerie isn’t doing the job, doing some sexy dance isn’t either, in fact, it seems like a routine that’s just too much.

You want something subtle but can’t find any. You want to get him off the game he is playing online, but the tactic is not yielding any positive fruit, how do you do it? Remember you don’t want to give up.

The perfect solution is right in your mastery of a great art of conversation, with this you can sexily control your partner’s mind … And your clothes do not even have to come off!

Get into the bedroom or the bathroom, or wherever you are comfortable with to act this play, you might lit some candles and send him a text, tell him you’re wearing something new and ask if he cares to see what it is. You might send him a picture of it. This will make him curious to see what it is you are wearing.

When you start talking making love with men, they get turned on. Ask him which he prefers, does he like being licked or being sucked. Does he like his organ been caressed or not. This is sure to turn him on.

You might go a little further by telling him how you want to be touched and how you might even touch him too.

There can be no other way to turn your man on than discussing sexual positions. Ask your man what he thinks of theLovemaking last style you both had, and what other positions he would like to try out with you. Ask to know if he thinks there is a way you can improve on any of the positions you’ve both had, and if he minds showing you

Men love being teased, especially when it is the woman who is suggesting it. However, make sure you are prepared to get through the plan.

It might take a while to get him from the unaroused zone to the aroused state(depending on his libido), so be sure you can stand it till he gets ready to jump right on you

It doesn’t matter if you live in a small house, there must be that one place you haven’t made love. Bring it up.

Have you made love on the dining table? On the work table? On the lawn at night? Balcony, roof deck? Name it. There are areas you haven’t covered. Bring it up. Ask if he would like to practice it there. Try to let him wonder what it will feel like.

If your man is a lover of board games, then use it on him. Turn him on playing board games like Scrabble, or while answering trivial or crosswords. Use many words, such as penis, vagina, nipples, sex, suck, insert, etc. you might use other slang words like cock, cunt, dick, pussy, those words, I know you understand what I mean. You might also write this on a crossword puzzle he is trying to solve, and things will get better from there.

If you both do not make any noise during lovemaking, then it is time to start the process of learning to moan, attempting to copy those you hear from adult movies.

By the way, UNF means Universal Noise when intimate. (Oh O!). It might sound odd to him at first, but subsequently, he will look forward to hearing those moans. And he will always want to know what tonight’s sound will be like.

These are fantastic methods of turning your man on and getting him in the mood. Using these tips from this method will make love to you anytime you want it, and your man is unresponsive.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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