How can I attract my husband is the most frequently asked question by a lot of women, who wants to save they marriage from the wreckage.
Attraction is an essential component of a marriage or long-term relationship. Marriages last longer and are more satisfying when spouses are attracted to one another.
The single most important reason to be attractive is so that we can feel good about ourselves. The second most important reason is to please the ones we love.
Your husband might begin to reject you or feel distant and you begin to wonder whether he really wants to stay married or not. Constant thoughts about it can put a toll on your mental health. When your husband’s attraction is fading, the first thing to run in your mind is how you can attract your husband sexually. Without a shadow of a doubt, sex is one of the most important ingredients that keep a majority of marriages from falling apart. It is one of the proven ways to communicate love and affection for each other.
Many ladies out there are trying all kinds of things to attract their husbands; below are some of the answers to the most commonly asked questions:
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Table of Contents
1. How can I stop being invisible to my Husband
Knowing how to stop being invisible to your husband and make him want you again can completely change the dynamic of your marriage. Over time relationships change and if you’ve recently noticed that your husband has become distant and disinterested in you, it can be devastating. Many women simply let the relationship die a slow death believing that there’s little they can do to attract their husband and change the situation. They’re wrong. If you love your spouse and you want your marriage to be filled with love and passion again, you can make that happen.
Understanding how to attract and become visible to your husband all over again begins with doing everything in your power to reconnect emotionally with him. This means that you have to put your husband first and foremost above everything else. That can be difficult particularly if you’re a mom or you have a demanding career outside the home.
There are ways to accomplish it through while still balancing all the things you need to tend to. Start listening carefully to your husband. Men often are hesitant about sharing exactly what they feel. Initiate conversations with your husband about his life and his interests. Focus on the things that are important to him. Once he starts feeling as though you value him as a person again, he’ll be more inclined to open up about what he’s feeling and what he needs from you.
Before longing to become visible and also attract him, you need to ponder a bit on how you treat him. Constant nagging, criticism, bickering, and complaining is going to affect your marriage badly. Once you start treating him respectfully, you too will get similar respect from him. Once you admire and appreciate him, he will have positive vibes for you too. You need to understand that all men want to feel special and want to be cherished. In order to know the tricks on how to attract and become visible to your spouse, you need to become your old self and admire, love and respect him.
An additional reason that can make you invisible and also widen the distance between a husband and wife is when both of them have a strong point of view and disagree with each other. In a case of some big issues like the kids or finances, you both might be trying to impose your individual point of view on each other. In such cases, he will likely start ignoring you and be in a sulky mood.
You have to understand that in any marriage there has to be room for some compromises. If you start respecting his wishes and opinions, you will be able to attract your husband, revive your relationship and get that spark back. Start implementing these simple rules in your life and you will see the visible changes in your husband’s attitude toward you.
2. How to attract your Husband emotionally
I believe that emotional intimacy is the main component of a love relationship that attracts a man to his wife. Most people believe an emotional affair is way worse than a sexual affair. When it comes to emotions, women are more emotionally attached and they can feel when there is a detachment. Men also can emotionally stray without noticing. It is healthy and normal for people to have friendships outside the marriage. The fact that this relationship feels like an emotional ‘affair’ suggests that is supplanting the emotional bond between the two of you, or there is some sort of betrayal implied by secrecy.
When you are trying to attract your husband or save your marriage and your spouse distances himself emotionally, you feel more alone than you ever imagined possible. You can very well understand why God said the words, “It is not good for man to be alone. “ Because whether you are a man or a woman, being alone when you’re in a marriage is NOT the plan you had, nor is it one that God had when you got married.
Also, friendships are based on attraction, in that, we are drawn to assorted qualities of our friends. Healthy friendships and attractions often add richness and enjoyment to life, instead of becoming a threat to it. It becomes harmful when an attraction turns into an obsession or into an affair.
Men usually fall victim to such situations. You as the wife will become worried and may start to wonder if you are not attractive enough and you may start finding ways to attract your husband emotionally. In this particular situation, you’ll be making a lot of mistakes. It is time to cultivate some of your qualities that have been dormant in other to attract your husband and enhance your own life and relationship.
Refining lost or missing qualities that the other person embodies in your own authentic way will often weaken the strength of the outside attraction. According to M. Gary Neuman, the author of Emotional Infidelity; How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 other secrets to a great relationship. He says, the problem is usually not poor communication but failure to put most of your focus into marriage. If you are both focusing on something else, you will lose his attention.
In pursuing your efforts to attract and appeal to his basic instincts, don’t forget to address his emotional and intellectual needs. His favorite colors, favorite reads, movies, books, et al should be at your fingertips. Surprise him occasionally by gifting his favorites to him. Find out his favorite snacks, dishes, and drinks. Keep them ready for him when he’s back from office. Study his mind and make your way into his spirit. Adapt yourself to his likes, dislikes, and moods.
As human beings, though we may pretend to be humble, deep down, we are all narcissists and self-obsessed. Caress it as much as you can and make him dependent on you. Once you have managed to enter his spirit, you can buttress his defenses, and he will be unable to turn back from you.
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3. How to attract your husband attention
Having a husband who doesn’t kiss, touch and wants you is one of the most painful experiences a woman can go through. A marriage is incomplete when it lacks physical intimacy or when a woman cannot be able to attract her husband. No matter how good your marriage is, nothing makes you feel as loved and appreciated as a woman as when your husband touches and makes love to you. Thus, a wife feels sad, lonely and confused when she can’t seem to figure out what’s going on. Plus, your self-esteem takes a dive and this affects your marriage too.
What attracted you to your partner in the first instance? Was it their kindness? Did they make you laugh? As time goes by, we can become complacent and focus on the irritations and negatives rather than what we enjoy and appreciate about our partners. Monotony invariably sets in and we are all subject to the routines of life like paying bills and housework.
When you realize your husband is not attracted to you as he used to be, it hurts your feelings. Perhaps the texts from him asking you how your day is going have become rare, you cannot remember the last time he seemed super turned on and he initiated to have sex with you. And he barely even says hello when he walks through the door. You seem invisible around him and in his life as well.
You have tried to do special things, arrange nice dinners and outings you hope he will enjoy. Sometimes buy him small gifts or do special things for him around the house, hoping and waiting for him to come around and notice how great you are; all in vain! Becoming the invisible woman is hurtful and gets you confused and you wonder how you can get him back or at least attract your husband sexually.
News flash; your husband does not desire a wife who orbits around him, he wants YOU! Your husband fell in love with you for who you are, your passions and quirks and that is what is going to get his attention. The five basic factors that will attract your husband’s attention are;
• finding your own passion
• Get out of your house
• Dress to impress YOURSELF
• Create time for family
• Ask him to join you, but be contented begin on your own
Make a conscious effort to focus on what you love about your partner and you’ll surely attract him and also feel more attracted. When we don’t like ourselves, we tend to project what we don’t like about ourselves onto our partners. The more we accept ourselves, the more tolerant we are of others around us and the more we will attract our husband.
If there’s something that you don’t like about yourself, take responsibility and focus on improving yourself. Self-development is vital, it gives us meaning and encourages greater contentment within ourselves and with others. Self-love encourages positive regard and can promote an environment where we feel more attracted to our partners.
4. How to attract your husband physically
The quickest way to attract your husband physically is by going for a new look. It’s time to make things unpredictable. Go to the beautician and get a complete makeover. Change your clothes as well. With the new look, just go out there and stun your husband. But don’t try hard to impress him with your new look by showing yourself in front of him. Instead, have him chase you.
Looking attractive does not mean that you should wipe off your credit cards just so you could have expensive facial treatments and other stuff. Men generally do not care about the brand you are wearing. They just want to see that you still exert an effort to look good for them. Even the simple task of slathering a luscious-smelling cream on your body makes your husband feel that you still want to lure him.
Men might appear strong yet deep inside they also have their soft spots that crave for utmost understanding. Usually, if the lines of communication between couples start to diminish, physical intimacy follows next. If you have unresolved arguments, have the courage to talk about it and fix it. What’s the secret of happy couples who were able to prevent sexless marriage? It’s their mutual knowledge that they can always talk to each other without restraining their thoughts.
Women also need to understand that the more you try to control your husband actions or feelings, the more you are pushing him further away from you. No matter how hard you try, you cannot make your husband love you or want you. If you realize you are getting so upset because your husband did not do or say something that you like, understand the only person you have control over is yourself.
For you to attract your husband physically, you must create an attraction approach rather than demand it. Always remember when the two of you were dating, you both did not rely on each other to feel happy or loved, you relied on yourself to feel happy. When you rely on yourself to be happy during your marriage, you portray yourself as a happy woman that displays confidence and self-esteem.
Physical attraction equals too sexual attraction. You can become a good company for your husband and he will want to be around you or be seen with you in the public since he finds you physically attractive. However, your main agenda is to attract your husband sexually.
5. How to keep your husband sexually attracted to you
In a marriage, as a wife, it could be one of your primary responsibilities to attract your husband and keep him sexually satisfied since sex is one of the proven ways to communicate love and affection for each other. In fact, sex, fortunately, or unfortunately, happens to be one of the most important driving factors that keep a marriage going.
Even marriages gone sour can survive if both the partners have satisfying sex. But then why not, if this can bring you closer to your husband, fulfill one of his basic needs and therefore guarantee peace and harmony in the relationship? Says Emma Audley, a relationship expert and article writer.
The significance of sex in marriage can be easily assessed when you have countless cases of marriages breaking up because the wife could not provide enjoyable and satisfying sex to the husband. Though willing to match to this principle, many wives find themselves in a quandary. Before you figure out how to keep your husband sexually attracted to you, find out what he does NOT fancy you. This can be harsh, but it is the truth of the matter.
As the famous Albert Einstein’s saying goes, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change.” Of course, it is not about the things that you cannot change your height and natural looks, most of the time it is your attitude.
Looks are also important, if you have let yourself go and you do not mind being an overweight or care for how you dress or having elongated bad hair/nails period, it will turn him off. Men are physical, and if you want to attract your husband sexually, be the woman he will feel proud to walk with to the grocery store. Having your sexy back will automatically create a romantic environment and you can always take the initiative to do some innovative foreplay.
Never stop telling him how much you appreciate his way of making love; how a scene from a movie reminded you of the last time he made love to you, and so on. Make unexpected calls while he is at work and fix up a schedule for the night when you can be together. Contrary to popular belief, planned sex can also be equally interesting and satisfying.
Put a ‘post-it’ on his lunch box to remind him of the date he has with you tonight; pamper him when he is moving around the house – in other words, make your sexual intentions very clear to your husband, so that he too feels equally charged. To keep your husband sexually satisfied should never be viewed as a chore – instead, you should look forward to making love to a man who you love and care for.
Also, check for any underlying health concerns. Some health issues can affect libido. Anxiety and exhaustion can cause a lack of libido. Drugs and alcohol, hormonal issues, depression and getting older can all affect our sex drive. If lack of libido has been an issue for over three months, go see your GP to check whether there is a health issue that needs to be addressed.
Marriage is not a bed of roses; neither a bed of thorns. With all the life realities surrounding us, it is easy for it to go sour. Sex is perceived to be magical, a great healer, conflict manager and a perfect lubricant for enduring marital tranquility and accord. In Liam Naden’s Book; How to get you and your spouse attracted to each other, he states that one of the major causes of marriage breakups is a loss of attraction between husband and wife. However, there are ways to rebuild attraction right away by learning how to sexually arouse your husband.
6. How to turn on your husband sexually
After marriage, it is important to attract your husband sexually in order to have a healthy sex life in your marriage. Sex is quite important for both sexes; however, to, men, it is more of a necessity than a want. To attract your husband’s attention, it is important too, first of all, keep your husband sexually attracted to you.
Sexually arousing your husband is all about the sexual intimacy that cannot be shared with anyone else. Be free, playful and engaged while you are having sex; Men are attracted to happiness and by you seeming happy and enjoying the sex, all he will be thinking is how often can he be having sex with his wife!
To attract and turn on your husband sexually, you must be a confident woman. Do not always wait for him to take the initiative. He may be tired, stressed or simply has too many things on his mind. As a wife, be understanding and try to soothe his frayed nerves by words and action. Giving him a warm foot bath or massaging his back could be a great turn-on for your husband. Try them and watch the results.
Looking sexy is also not enough for your husband; you may feel good and be appreciated by the public without being able to arouse your husband sexually. It is the duty of the wife to come up with ways to sexually arouse your husband. Also, when we speak of looking sexy, it’s not about showing too much skin but putting on fitting clothes that suit your body, confidence, and charm.
Following are a few sexy turn-ons
1. Go about in the house semi-naked eg., wear a shirt or an apron without bra….this is a great turn on for men.
2. Whisper sweet nothings in his ear and tell him that you want to make love to him.
3. While you are fore- playing look him into the eye and tell him how much you love him.
4. Give him a full body massage and kiss him all over.
5. Pin him down on the floor and start removing his clothes one by one in a very seductive way.
6. Brush your breast all over his body…it will drive him crazy.
7. Kiss him gently, move your hand down his spine and pinch his buttocks. Press yourself to him.
Though the typical wife admits that her husband’s sex drive is greater than her sex drive is, she still seems to undervalue the force this feature has on their relationship. In some studies done, a considerable number of men state that they do not believe that women understand a man’s sex drive.
Most husbands keep this secret and desires to themselves and find it very difficult to communicate it to their wives. As a woman, when you learn how to sexually arouse your husband, you are guaranteed a healthy sex life, hence a happy marriage.
A healthy sex life in marriage is equivalent to a happy marriage since;
• It is special as it is the only thing you uniquely share with your spouse that you don’t share with anyone else.
• Creates a deeper level of communication that you don’t normally do with just anyone. It requires you to talk to each other about intimate, emotional things.
• Sex creates a passion and a unique connection
• A fulfilling sex makes your partner feel loved and desired
• Satisfying sex can make your spouse be more confident
The few points mentioned above are just the benefits of a healthy sex lifestyle in marriage. For a wife that would want to know how to attract your husband, should not discount sex as a priority. Sex is more important to your husband and to your relationship, and your own joy in your marriage.
7. How To Attract your husband at night
You can be good in bed and be a very pleasant lady for your partner, but it takes more to attract your husband at night. Many people do not know that foreplay begins outside the bedroom; from the small things that you do. Things such as; how you carry yourself, communicate to your husband, how you react after seeing him to even how you handle matters. If you do them right, your husband will be looking forward to coming home after work.
It is unfortunate that bars and pubs are filled with married men most of the evenings. Many of them are not in a hurry to leave for home. Why? Naturally, it is the woman who runs the household, and if she has not created an environment that the husband is looking forward to in the evening, her marriage begins to fail. Not blaming the woman for everything, but there are ways to handle matters at home and maintain a stress-free home.
If the father of the home is never at home, it has become a house and no longer a home. To make it a home, you need to have a family, to have a family, you need to have communication and spend time with each other. Sex can never be satisfied if there is no togetherness and harmony. Never let your children, relatives or friends come before your husband, make him a priority in a home that he has worked for as well.
To attract your husband at night also include intimacy and communication in your bedroom or when alone at night. Pillow talk is not necessarily after having a sexual intercourse, but the feeling of peace and harmony where your husband finds his peace after facing the hurdle of the world out there. Always remember, men are physical, and to keep him attracted to you requires some physical measures.
Basic factors like;
• Always take a shower before bedtime
• Putting on attractive or seductive nightwear
• Make him his favorite home cooked meal at least once in a while
• Create the time for just the two of you at least once in a week or a fortnight
• Have kind ways to approach him with serious matters
..Will automatically attract and draw him closer to you
Dressing up in your best sexiest nightgown alone can attract your husband at night and make his desires go wild. Buy items that will turn your husband on without making you feel silly. For that purpose, the best way is to keep a magazine or catalog of sexy wear around and see which dress interests your husband. Or else the best thing to wear for your special night a satin gown. It highlights curves of your body in a very sexy manner, flows elegantly and beautifully, is soft and smooth and catches the light. This will never fail and is a real turn-on for men.
There are many other ways to attract your husband but keep in mind that how you feel about the world and yourself, will affect how you come off to your husband. It is not the time to feel sorry for yourself or blaming “the entire men fraternity”, focus rebuilding yourself and you will see him drawing himself closer to you. In every successful married couple, you will find that each individual, feel successful themselves. When you feel successful, you will not come from a needy state of mind. To attract your husband, you will first need to focus on how to upgrade yourself on every other aspect and make him come to you instead!
According to Gary Chapman, there are five languages of love. These are quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch. We all have preferences in the way we feel loved. For some of us, it is compliments (words of affirmation) and for others, it may be that spending quality time with their partner makes them feel loved. All five languages of love matter though and injecting these five elements into your relationship will promote closeness and help you to feel more attracted to each other.
Initially, every wife has to understand that when it comes to making your husband ultra-attracted to you, there are no shortcuts. Attracting your husband requires substantial methods as shortcuts will only devalue your relationship and undermine every aspect of your life.
Become active, not passive! Don’t wait for attraction to land on your lap. Enjoy and appreciate each other, finding new activities to do together. Tell your mate how they can become more attractive to you and what they would like to become more attracted to you. Be active in creating and cultivating a friendship with each other. Additionally, stop the comparisons. A glance is one thing; a longing fantasy for another is something entirely different and is very hurtful.
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Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
David Smallis the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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