It would be interesting to know what different experts have shared as their relationship advice for couples.
Having a ‘Happily Ever After’ relationship looks nearly impossible these days; with individuals having conflicting ideologies.
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To make a relationship work is worth putting in some effort and taking steps that you could take to make life smoother for you and your partner.
It is not hard accomplishing happiness when we are committed to making our relationship work. Sit back and enjoy this dose of relationship advice for couples from renowned experts.
Table of Contents
Communication.
This is referred to as the key to life according to Jude Treder-Wolff a psychotherapist who gives relationship Advice to both intending and married couples. He further explains Communication as the art of sending messages to people and getting feedback. This art is not complete without understanding by the receiver.
Therefore, in the context of a relationship, couples must be able to tell each other everything and be each other’s confidant. There should be no best friend aside your spouse and nothing should be kept as a secret from one another.
Couples should always have time to discuss activities that happened when they were away from each other from the biggest to the smallest of things. Feelings, emotions, questions, wants, must all be communicated between couples as this will help calm an intending storm. Communication can be described as a lubricant that reduces friction between couples.
Related Article: 103 Free Date Ideas That Will Transform Your Relationship.
Spend Quality Time Together.
It can be said that the more time one spends with anyone the more acquitted one gets with such person including an arch enemy. Alison M, a relationship expert advises that Couples should take time to spend time together doing things one another loves e.g. attending musical concerts, attend seminars and conferences, go to recreational centers, attend religious programs, stay indoors, etc.
The more time couples spend together, the older they get, the more they’ll love each other and like an old saying ‘the older the wine gets the better it is’. Time is one thing females love to be given and when given by their spouse will return the favor with more love and commitment. This is believed to be a piece of important relationship advice for couples no matter how long they may have been together.
Master the skills to Build A Stronger Relationship
Always Say “I Love You.”
This is one word that is usually common within the first few weeks of a relationship and as time goes on couples get too busy or distracted to use such words. “I Love You” is a word of commitment and when said by couples to one another gives assurance to both parties that there is still a sense of belonging between them.
Couples should always end text messages, chats, calls with the word “I Love You”. Surprise your loved one at work by calling just to say the magic word “I Love You”. Dave G. a relationship expert proposed that during heated arguments, ruckus the word I Love You can be a magic wand that will melt any hard heart. I Love You isn’t for the beginning of a relationship alone keep saying it at all times.
Do Not Involve a Third Party.
Most broken relationships are a product of third party interference. Third-party may be friends, relatives, even parents can be the third party at certain times. Airyl M. once said Couples may never know who wants the best for their relationship so they should be ready to resolve issues between them by themselves.
A popular saying goes “Two is a company, three’s a crowd“. Relationship issues are personal problems between couples who are two people and they should be treated as such. This is one key relationship advice for couples as one may never know the advice that may be acted upon that will cause damage to a rosy relationship.
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Always Tell Each Other Thank You.
Appreciation is often required whenever a good deed is done to anyone. Couples should learn to say thank you for even the littlest of things to the biggest of things e.g. thank you for a good meal, thank you for the quality time, thank you for the good sex, thank you for the gift amongst other things.
Terri Orbach, a Professor at Oakland University believes there is always a high tendency for either of the spouses being shown appreciation to do more and better another time.
Couples are advised in the interest of their relationship to always show appreciation. An Asian adage says “When a child shows appreciation for the good he was done yesterday; he will receive another”. No matter how little that gesture showed was remember he/she cherishes you, holds you in high esteem and love you that’s why he/she did it just for you.
Related Article: Top 25 Reasons for Divorce According To Divorce Experts.
Go Out To Date Often.
Bekky G. advises that couples should not limit going out on a date to only when they just met. This should be a continuous affair between them. Surprise your loved one by taking each other on a date to the place you had your first date, go to the newest cinema in town to see the latest movie.
The love between couples gets rejuvenated with such acts of a show of love and display of affection. If it is a town that doesn’t kick against Public Display of Affection, then during the date do a Public Display of Affection it gladdens the heart and gives you both a sense of belonging to each other.
No matter how long you’ve been married it doesn’t matter if you can kick start your relationship back to life by beginning with a date. You know where your spouse loves to go, go there, you know their favorite meal, go eat it at a restaurant or the Eatery.
Volunteer Together.
Couples should join a course or an organization they both believe in together. Chris G. a relationship expert suggested that it is still a form of spending quality time together as during volunteering you get to hear your spouse give suggestions that you never knew he/she had before then.
It might be an N.G.O, a revolution it doesn’t matter just do it together. Rather than doing things individually and coming to explain to each other especially where it involves much of the opposite sex it is advised you both volunteer for it.
Do Programmes Together.
Programs vary from formal to informal which may not interest your spouse as much as it interests you. Programs such as Academic program, religious program, a government program, recreational program are advised to be carried out together.
When couples engage in similar activities they tend to bond faster and even better than each carrying out different activities. For example, if a wife is to engage in a fitness program so as to shed excess weight, her husband may decide to join her so as to serve as a form of encouragement to the wife. This is also backed up by Kristin G, who is a relationship expert in one of her multiple series.
Do Not Compare.
Sometimes, you can’t help but compare your present partner with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. However, this is one of the most important relationships Don’ts.
Remember that your partner is a different person. He or she is yours now, so live in the present. Don’t keep looking for your ex’s characteristics. Otherwise, you should have just stayed with your ex or not commit yourself into a new relationship.
Everyone is unique in their own way and possess a character that neither your ex nor you’re next may possess. According to Lauren Dana; a medical and marriage personnel, advises that the act of comparison makes you drop the confidence level of your partner as you have set a benchmark in front of him which he/she will not meet. Accept your spouse for who he/she is.
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Be Patient.
A proverb says “Patience is the quality you admire in the driver behind you but not in the one in front of you”. It is often easier to preach patience than to practice it but patience is as necessary to a relationship like a preservative is to a cake.
Patience will make you see your partner for who he/she is, accept him/her as well as not to compare them with any other person and also make them better.
Klare Heston., a communicator and a relationship expert had this advice for couples “Patience will aid you in decision making as well as keeping your relationship in line with the goals you have for it”.
It is expedient, especially on the male to be very patient with his spouse as he is the major stakeholders in terms of the longevity and existence of the relationship.
Learn to Use Kind Words.
Verse of the Holy Book which is the Bible quotes that “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. At every point in time no matter how meek, gentle or easy-going one may be, it is of normalcy that one should get angry but no matter how angry one maybe it is important for one to add a caution.
Dr. Ceruto a psychologist, advises couples that Kind words go a long way in pacifying an angry partner, it can also help out channel solutions to problems. Couples should at every time learn to use the words “sorry”, “please”, “thank you”, “can i”, “may i” amongst others.
Learn to Show Your Love Physically.
Couples should at every time learn not to forsake the place of romance, cuddles, kisses, and sex in their relationship. These ignite a fire in the relationship that nothing else can. It is at the point of intimacy that couples also get to discuss things they haven’t discussed before due to mood.
Joel D.B, a relationship expert advises couples that the place of sex and other forms of romance cannot be over emphasized. A study has shown that sex helps cure stress among its multiple benefits.
Do not be shy to tell your partner the places to touch you that will arouse you. Sex is also a form of communication emotionally which is a basic need of every human. So from now spark up your relationship through your sex life and don’t deny your partner of it anytime.
Related Article: The 17 Proven Signs Your Relationship Will Last Forever.
Do Not Pretend.
This is fast becoming a thing in the typical 21st-century relationship as everyone is trying to showcase who they are not. You can’t keep trying to impress your spouse, and there’s no need for you to be someone you’re actually not.
Airyl M, advises couples that for the relationship to grow, you need to be yourself. Don’t be afraid that your partner will get disappointed in you. Be proud of what and who you are. Love yourself. Your partner might just love you more if you are being you.
The moment you start a relationship on falsehood there’s no doubt it wouldn’t last long; it will be synonymous to building a castle in the air. Whoever can’t accept you for who you are is not fit for you.
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Learn from Your Fights.
It will be total deceit to assume that a good relationship is all about going out on a date with candles and a nice meal from the Menu. A relationship has its ups and downs similar to life which is unavoidable.
You will have disagreements not necessarily a big fight but when that happens to recognize what brought about it, accept your fault, don’t try to play the blame game, apologize and try not to repeat whatever you did that led to the disagreement.
Airyl M, advises couples that though we always disagree to agree whenever disagreement comes up to treat it like it’s normal and once you settle it pick up a lesson or two from it and move on.
Do new things together.
There are over one hundred things we haven’t done before, there are over one hundred places we haven’t seen before and we’ve always dreamt of doing. Everything we’ve always wanted to do can be done now. The world has many tourism centers that can spice up your love life as couples.
However, there will come a time that you’ll feel like everything is just a routine, and it’s monotonous. Barton G., a relationship expert, and speaker advises couples not to let boredom beat their relationship.
Always look for something new to do with your partner. Plan your weekend together, go to the gym together, visit museums, learn to play a new instrument together, if you’re a party lover go to the club together. Keep doing new things together to spice up your relationship.
Don’t Be Clingy.
This is common among intending couples, the moment you know your spouse is into you become possessive like you own your spouse. Yes, it’s good you know your spouse belongs to you but it is also expedient you realize that you don’t own your spouse.
Patrick Wanis, a renowned relationship expert advises couples that you can’t tell your spouse what friends to keep, distance your spouse from friends and relatives, dictate where to go and where not to. Don’t let your partner feel any remorse for giving you a part of his/her life.
Related Article: 31 Daily Habits That Will Make A Marriage Stronger.
Keep Doing What You Love.
You were into something before you met you became couples so do not stop what you were into. What if your partner decides to leave? because you have a partner doesn’t mean you should stop doing your own hobbies and interests.
According to Amy Baglon the C.E.O. of Meetmindful, she advises couples that You may be enjoying your time with your partner, but you still need to spend some time for yourself. If you were an Artist keep drawing or painting, keep strumming the Guitar, find some time to still play your favorite video game.
Your life is not just about you and your partner, so keep doing the things that you love. Who knows your partner may end up loving that which is your hobby and you’ll convert your partner to loving your hobby and you both do it together. That’s the Goal of being couples. Do everything Together.
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Know What Your Partner Loves.
As silly as it may sound but believe me as couples it is necessary you know what your partner loves. Myles M., a public speaker, and pastor advise couples that if you don’t know what your partner loves how do you intend to make your partner happy.
How do you intend to make your partner give you that lovely smile, how do intend to surprise your partner and not put him/her off, how do you intend to turn your partner on? Knowing what one’s partner loves is one of the key ingredients to a healthy relationship.
It’s what you know your spouse loves you’ll give as a birthday gift; it is what you know he/she loves you’ll give as a gift when you’ve offended them. Start now know your partners favorite color, designer, football club, etc.
Do Not Be Boring.
Couples must stay interesting all the time. You both must be good chatters i.e. you must always have something to say. Companionship is one thing that glues some couples together.
When you ask some couples who’ve been married for years why they never got tired of each other the best answer you may get is “we enjoy each other’s company”. According to Steve Harvey, companionship fosters more love and makes love keep growing and not withering between couples.
Learn from One Another.
You both are from different backgrounds, mingled with different people growing up, felt about different issues differently, probably channeled different courses so therefore it is necessary to take your time to learn from each other. Stephan Labossiere admonishes couples on the fact that they need to acknowledge each other’s contribution to the relationship, listen to each other, learn from each other.
Your partner may have some values different from yours, but take the time to hear his or her thoughts. Respect his or her own principles in life. Learn from each other’s experiences. Remember that a good relationship is a symbiotic one where partners benefit from one another. Hence, allow the relationship to grow by learning from each other.
Related Article: 7 Tips That Will Save A Marriage From Brink Of Divorce.
Accept Each Other’s Shortcomings.
The positive side of your partner is what attracted you to your partner but the truth is your partner has a negative side. According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, a Canadian and American Psychology Professor, in one of her articles on relationship advice for couples, “Though you must have seen something in your partner which is why to give your partner a part of your life.
However, know that you are not having a relationship with a perfect person. Neither of you is, so expect to witness your partner’s flaws”. Accept each other’s shortcomings. As a partner, give your spouse pieces of advice. Talk about what you think is best for your partner, but don’t ever try to change your partner. Your partner should be able to keep his or her individuality even though your partner belongs to you.
Have A Fun Hobby Together.
According to Ted W, Couples should find something they both love and always do it together. It is not necessary it is something complex, it can be as simple as going to watch the game of soccer together at a stadium.
If they are music lovers it may be going to a musical concert, if they love cooking it may be cooking in the kitchen together. During the process of doing similar activities, the bonding just comes naturally and even if it involves spending much time and energy it is being done together.
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Learn to Give Gifts.
Giving like it is popularly said is living. Gifts are always cherished no matter how small it may be. Both sexes love to be given gifts as it shows how dear one is to the giver of the gift.
Giving gifts to one another shouldn’t be limited to only Valentine’s Day and birthdays alone. Gifts should be given at any time one of it deems it fit. Surprise your lover with a gift today and see the reaction no matter how little it may seem to you.
Kelsey Borresen, a psychologist advises couples that it shouldn’t be only when an occasion calls for it that we should give a gift. Send a flower to your lover at work today.
Be Honest.
A popular saying goes, “Honesty is the best policy“. Charlie Bloom, MSW, relationship expert and author of Secrets of Great Marriages advised couples that No matter what the situation presents couples must always tell each other the truth.
If one starts a lie it will take a lie to keep up with the lie and at such a lie. A lie breaks more than what the truth can build. Couples at every point in time and in whatever situation should be straight forward, open to each other and be sincere.
Take Things Slow.
It is advised to keep things slow in a relationship as trying to force or rush your partner into doing what may not be convenient for them but let time let them decide. Dr. Rune Moelbak advised couples that while it’s hard to keep your excitement when you’ve just committed yourself into a new relationship, it’s important that you take things slow.
There’s always time for everything, so how about taking the time to get to know your partner more? Enjoy each other’s company.
There’s no rush in taking the relationship to the next level; you still have a lot of things to discover from each other, so enjoy the initial stages of the relationship. This is one aspect most people overlook.
Related Article: 15 Ways to Make Him Love You More.
Set Your Expectations.
Relationship expert Dr. Chuck Gray, Ph.D., Psychologist, advise couples that it is very important to set priorities right in every relationship. What do you expect from this relationship?
What do you expect from your partner? know what your needs are, What do you want and not want your partner to do? Let your partner know about your expectations, so you can immediately talk about some compromises.
Also, it will be easier for both of you to adjust with each other when you’re aware of these expectations. Once one knows where one is going it is easier to navigate through throughout the relationship.
Renew Your Love Daily.
The love must be renewed daily by both partners. Relationship expert Dr. D. Ivan Young, suggested that it is the duty of both parties to make sure they feed their love so it will not die. He further on advised couples that in doing so they should change routine once a while.
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Avoid Inappropriate Demand.
Shaba P, a pastor, and relationship expert advice both parties to avoid asking what they know they can’t deliver. He further says inappropriate demand receives an inappropriate response.
Forgiveness.
According to Lisa Firestone who is a relationship expert, couples must always learn to forgive each other genuinely as it is normal for them to offend each other.
An article from Mayo Clinic on relationship advice for couples says ” if you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly.”
Conclusion
I want to believe you learned a lot as you go through on what different experts gave as their relationship advice for couples. I believe as you were reading you were able to identify key areas where you’ve been turning down the flame of love in your relationship.
It is not enough to just read; it is mandatory to put these pieces of advice by those experts into work. Get up this moment and start doing those things you’ve failed to do in times past for your spouse and if you’ve been doing them congratulations but don’t stop, keep doing better.
