17 Ways To Renew The Romance In Your Marriage

By David Small •  Updated: 01/26/16 •  11 min read

Romance can easily fade away in any long-term relationship. Many wonders if it is possible to recreate those early feelings of romantic love that have sadly disappeared over time.

Some start believing that they may have married the wrong person and begin imagining the true soul mate is out there somewhere waiting for them.

The secret is courtship does not end even after marriage; married couples need to spend even more quality time stoking the relationship fire in order for the romance stay strong in the union.



Research has proved that if your parents struggled in their marriage, it’s more likely you will experience marriage problem as well. There are higher chances your marriage is more likely to end in divorce if your parents divorced.

Before you begin to wonder in what ways you will take to renew those lost feelings of romantic love in your marriage, you should ponder on these two important questions;

Were you parents happily married?

Is your marriage the same as theirs?

Here are 17 ways to renew romance in your marriage

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1. Renew Romance in your marriage by Changing the Routine

Most times in marriages a routine is established and it can bring about boredom in the relationship. At such times, the couple should focus on ways of how to bring excitement back into the marriage. For every marriage to be successful it needs work and attention to detail.

Separation or divorce is never to be the first option when a relationship is falling apart. When a couple fails to deal with the core issues of their marriage, they end up separating and falling back to the same issues with the next relationship as they failed to deal with them in the previous one.

2. Renew Romance in your marriage by Reevaluating yourself to understand first

Sigmund Freud acknowledged the impact that heredity and background have on a person’s outcome. As we are growing up, we learn “tapes” that we play again and again unaware of how they control and could tear down our lives.

However, does that mean the fate of your marriage was determined years ago? Does it mean your destiny was sealed by your genes and your upbringing?

Before you begin pinpointing on your partner’s shortcoming, think of what you could be doing wrong as well. Never fully blame yourself but starting to admit your shortcomings could perhaps help your partner to open up and feel closer to you.

3. Renew Romance in your marriage by Becoming different and better for your partner

Romance In Your Marriage

It is inevitable to miss having deeply rooted relationship instincts, although; those instincts do NOT have you. Despite the fact that your past will persistently fight for control of your future, but at the end of the day, the power is in you as you have a CHOICE.

It is never too late to transform your marriage and your sphere of influence is this moment, and every moment, when you make a decision to create a new script. Instead of becoming a victim of your past, you have time and choice to be the master of your destiny.

4. Renew Romance in your marriage by Venturing into transforming yourself

If you would like to renew an old love or need to know how to spice up your marriage, you will be required to dig deeper for a more permanent solution. Sometimes we tend to see vaguely disregarding what could be the initial cause.

It is the importance of the real value of understanding your past and your childhood roots. With this you can consciously reject what you know does not work and replace old habits with new ways; it is not an easy task to do so.

5. Renew Romance in your marriage by not been afraid of Change

Generally, people prefer doing what is familiar yet unhelpful rather than what’s constructive but unusual. Simply, many are more contented in doing what they are familiar with and don’t work in their favor than working on something new and may benefit them.

A famed quote by Albert Einstein “Men marry women with the expectation they will never change and women marry men with the expectation they will change; however, always they are both disappointed.”  Naturally, when a relationship is heading downhill, there is a likely hood of blaming each other instead of reevaluating yourself first.

Sally B. Watkins in her book; Change Your Mindset, Not Your Man,  shares tools that can help build an empowered self and full happy life even with a flawed partner and an imperfect relationship. It is impossible to force someone to change, but one can easily influence their partner into a better person if he or she is willing to work on the relationship.

6. Renew Romance in your marriage by Been Constant

Having a successful marriage is an endless transition. Something new that could be destructive keeps on resurfacing and it takes both partners to be a ‘transition person’ to make it work. To become a transition person, it means a person who is ready to let go and deal with unhealthy relationship patterns that have been in their family for generations.

For one to realize these patterns, it takes acceptance and self-evaluation so that you could understand what you may have contributed to this hard luck.

However, this is not the time to blame your heredity or environment for all the mishaps in your relationship; for you make a decision to follow that path is the third element in this situation that trumps all past events.


7. Renew Romance in your marriage by Educating yourself on how to be a better partner

According to Mort Fertel, a successful marriage is crafted and don’t just happen.

The real meaning of marriage education is educating someone to acquire the ability to choose their behavior.

Despite your parents having got divorced, doesn’t give you the permission to follow the same footsteps.

As an adult, you should know what right or wrong and by realizing the mistake your parents may have made gives you every reason to take on a different path.

There is no misbehavior or misconduct character is hereditary, all is a result of deliberate and conscious decisions that will help you make a new way in your relationship.

Mort Fertel the author of Marriage Fitness: 4 Steps to Building & Maintaining Phenomenal Love, he created a program that has transformed thousands of marriages globally. The program consists of the 4 steps to Building & sustaining Phenomenal Love, Marriage Fitness and creator of the Marriage Fitness System for Relationship Renewal Program.

8. Renew Romance in your marriage by not letting the children get in the way

Sometimes marriage can take a new turn around after the children come in the picture. You can always seek ways on how to spice your marriage after a baby. Children are always a blessing to a couple, whether for or not.

However, most the time the couple has not yet adopted living together when the baby checks in it can bring more trouble in paradise. Nevertheless, it does not mean it’s the end of the marriage; every marriage has a chance to endure any challenges.

7 secret to a stronger marriage a Mort Fertel Free Breakthrough report for subscribers who are ready to script a new chapter in their marriages by learning how to make a new way in their relationship.

9. Renew Romance in your marriage by Understanding where the source of the pressures

According to Steve Brody the Author of Renew Your Marriage at Midlife; A Guide Together In Love. Pressures in marriage come from within and outside the relationship. In his book, he shares guidelines that provide compelling, commonsense advice for couples who want to stay the course- not only to maintain a bond but to strengthen it.

Every marriage has problems where the pressures are real and never let up.; children, money, infidelity, endless little decisions among much more. For a relationship to be successful it needs an all-around upgrading; from communication, romance, finances, support, affections, in-laws, close friends to even relationship with your children.

There are many ways on how to bring back excitement into the marriage and through learning, guidance, and willingness for it work, any marriage can be saved from ending.

10. Renew Romance in your marriage by Been open to your partner

It is unfortunate that sometimes couples can get lonely in a relationship, and before any more damage takes place, the couple should come to an agreement on the way forward.

In a peaceful manner, the couple should open up on what is bothering them and if they cannot do this on their own without quarreling, it’s time to see a specialist to intervene. Transparency will help to point out the key sources of the problems the couple is facing.


11. Renew Romance in your marriage by Spending more time together

It is very important to give each other space as a couple but sometimes couples tend to drift apart more and get comfortable with it. Any couple should invest in spending quality time together and by this, it should be most of the free time they should spend together.

Having the same interests and hobbies is a big plus; however, they should still support each other in their differences. In Vern A. Jensen’s 400 creative dating ideas for you to try he states that regular dates nights with your significant other, is a must, if you are not, you’re missing out on all sorts of chances to keep the fun and romance alive.

12. Renew Romance in your marriage by Focusing on the Positive side of things

When your marriage is on the rocks, it’s understandable to focus on everything that is negative. Sometimes you could assume that everything is irretrievable and you cannot go back to where you once used to be.

When you view the relationship from a different aspect, most likely the negative factors are so resolvable and not major as you may think. It is hard to do this without any outside help, preferably professional assistance- a marriage counselor.

13.Renew Romance in your marriage by  Investing in ways you and your partner can increase your sex drive

Sex plays an important part in marriage. Today matters such as children, careers, social responsibilities among much more have made it hard to make time for intimacy or even yet, to get in the mood.

However, a couple should not let a poor libido keep them from heating things up in the bedroom. There are many ways to increase your sex drive and it begins with self-improvement traits such as looking good which improve confidence and confidence is a turn on!

14. Renew Romance in your marriage by Learning to communicate through love

According to Jonathan Robinson the author of  Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict, he shares ways to learn how to communicate with less blame and more understanding.

When learning to do so, you are guaranteed to feel totally loved, fewer arguments, be heard by your partner and repair broken trust. Communication is a very crucial total in all aspects of life and love is easily expressed through good communication skills.


15.  Renew Romance in your marriage by Becoming Friends Too

Infidelity in marriages begins with a lack of companionship in the relationship. One partner can become frustrated because they can’t seem to communicate with the person they are with.

It is possible to become friends, lovers and soul mates to create a healthy, nurturing and loving relationship. Do not discourage your partner from having friends, but be supportive in what they like and slowly they will begin opening up more to you.

16.Renew Romance in your marriage by Coming up with new adventures

Repetition breeds boredom. Having the same old stories, same old nights out, same-sex styles, and the same food can become boring. Intimacy does not only occur between two bodies in the bedroom but sharing your mind, fantasies, life dreams with someone can be very intimate. It’s advisable to talk and share some ideas, dreams and even pie-in-the-sky adventures, as you never know where your conversations will lead.

17. Renew Romance in your marriage by Been ready to give before receiving

It’s human to be selfish and always expect to receive more than you give. A much a relationship should be a give and take relationship, sometimes it starts with you to break the ice by giving. Ask what you can do for your spouse instead of what he/she can do for you.

To renew romance in your marriage needs an all-around review of the relationship. For it to be successful, all other aspects of the relationship should be improved as well.

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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