Marriage should be seen as a serious endeavor. Marriage can make possible a stable and happy family life. It has been an enduring foundation of our society. If you are living in an environment, where marriage is treated with kid glove, how do you feel seeing so many marriages crashing overnight?
How do you go about saving your marriage in a culture which values throw away relationships? There was a time, not too long ago, that marriage was considered a lifetime commitment.
It was generally regarded as the most beautiful thing anyone could ever get into. Granted, while there are some downsides to this – such as people having to endure a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse as well, as a personality conflict, there are also some benefits of being married.
Nowadays, virtually every state, with exception of New York, have a high rate of divorce. If one spouse wants out, all he or she has to do is say the word. In most states, the partners are not even required or advised to go for counseling.
1. Pay Attention to the Needs of Your Spouse
You need to recognize that your spouse had valid concerns when he or she asked for the divorce. If you were unaware of any wrongdoing on your part, why not ask? Be determined to work on the concerns raised and try to address them in the spirit of mildness.
If you notice some needs that are not being met is causing friction in your relationship, be quick to address them.
2. Express Appreciation
Be quick to notice what your spouse has invested in the relationship and express appreciation for them. Think about the effort and use that as an avenue to rebuild the marriage and strengthen your relationship.
Your spouse will probably have second thoughts about divorce. Give him or her every reason to stay.
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3. Be Understanding
Try to control your reaction to situations. In some cases, it has been observed that the spouse who doesn’t want a divorce may harass the divorcing spouse and talk rashly. You need to learn to control yourself about the issues in the relationship.
In addition, all your spouse needs may just be emotional peace. If this is the case, respect his or her wishes. To learn how to be understand, forgive and forget, check out Mort Fertel’s article “How to Get Over the Past and Past the Hurt.”
4. Lower Your Expectations
High expectations and unrealistic fantasies have contributed to divorces. This is partly as a result of little or no education about the sanctity of marriage. Many people who have read love novels that propagate, marriage as fun endeavors with no work will soon find out that this is not so in real life.
Therefore, lowering and balancing your expectations go a long way in realizing that work needed to be done before a happy and stable marriage is guaranteed.
Saving your marriage also requires that you don’t look for perfection in your spouse and yourself. If he or she has flaws, it is not advisable to be pointing them out every now and then. Rather, focus on the good qualities of your spouse. Learn to tolerate your spouse whenever he or she gets on your nerves. Try to tolerate and live with each other’s imperfections
5. Relax and Have Fun.
No matter how tense the situation is or circumstance you’re in, try to relax and have fun. Saving marriage is a serious matter no doubt, however, if you take things too serious or make the repair process too intense, you will hurt your spouse and your spouse is more likely to file for divorce.
Instead, you can suggest that you both go out together and do the things you both find interesting. When you try to reconnect with your in all facets, the big things will take care of themselves.
6. Readiness to Change
Willingness to change has become top tips for a successful marriage. No one in the world is a perfect person. Even, though, the perfectionist is hardly a perfect person, there must be a willingness to accept faults and make changes where necessary.
You must be ready to change in order to develop your marriage bond and save your relationship from collapse. Change to be good in accordance to your spouse personality.
Sometimes, your spouse may want you to change your not-so-good attitude and perhaps too, your way of communication. Try to see reason and be humble to adapt to your spouse. It is better to behave towards other people and especially your spouse the way you want them to behave toward you.
If you strive to make the needed changes, the benefits are great. Those changes you made can bring better future to you both. It is therefore good to consider this admonition.
7. Spend Time Together
Most relationship and marriage crash mainly because of couples spending a long time apart or spend long hours at work with little time for each other. Understanding that spending time with your spouse is very important to the survival of your marriage will help you do your utmost to find time for each other. You can do this by scheduling time for everything including time working for money.
You really need to spare some time with your loved one. Taking out your spouse for a dinner and do a simple heart to heart conversation will simply improve the relationship. The benefits of this practice will allow you to have your activities well plan out and maintain a good and healthy marriage lifestyle. Spending some time together with your spouse is the important step for a successful marriage.
Although we live in an environment where marriage is seen as a mere contractual agreement that can be revoked at any time, you can succeed in saving your marriage and live peacefully with your mate.
Have it in the back of your mind that your marriage is the most important thing in your life and it is well worth saving. If you imbibe the 7 Tips For Saving Your Marriage it will go a long way to saving you from heartache and a needless divorce.
Image courtesy of stock images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
David Smallis the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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