In a recent study, it was found that women only experienced orgasms from intercourse 31-40% of the time, while 22% say they’ve never experienced an orgasm at all.
Clearly, if you’re wondering how to satisfy a woman in bed, it’s going to take a lot more than simply getting it in.
Luckily, there’s plenty of knowledge out there to help you succeed. Read on for our all-inclusive guide on how to please a woman in bed.
Set the Mood.
How to satisfy a woman in bed sexually all comes down to your timing. Use your words to seduce her and watch the magic unfold.
Most women will prefer to get to know you a little before they get into bed with you. That’s not to say you can’t have a hookup, but taking extra time beforehand always helps.
For example, if you’re out on a first date with her, slowly ease your way into flirting with her. Avoid coming off too strong right away.
Instead, ask her questions about herself or just let her lead the conversation.
This doesn’t have to be spread out over a number of dates in order to be effective. You can also do it if you’re just meeting a girl and looking for a one-night-stand.
Just initiate a conversation and be sure the feeling is mutual before you take the next step.
Here are a few tips for talking to a woman to get her comfortable with you:
- Maintain eye contact. Looking down or off in space makes you seem disinterested or even untrustworthy. Don’t look around at other people, either.
- Be sure to listen intently and show your interest in what she’s thinking. It helps to ask questions and repeat information back to let her know you’re fully engaged.
- Be empathetic. Don’t try to impose your opinion on her or minimize her feelings in any way. This will help her bond with you and demonstrates your value as a potential lover.
- Be yourself. If you’re genuine, she’ll pick up on that trustworthiness and be more relaxed around you.
Your initial goal should be getting her to feel at ease with you. Once you see her warming up to you, you can start initiating a physical connection.
Light and subtle touches, like grazing her arm or thigh, can quickly take your chemistry to a physical level. Again, you’ll have to start slow and watch for her signals to continue.
She might get closer to you or start flirting more; be perceptive.
Make Her Feel Comfortable.
If you’re wondering how to please a woman, you have to get her to be comfortable around you. Sex can be a source of vulnerability for women, especially if she is open with her desires.
Your goal should be getting her to let her guard down, to feel like she can be comfortable telling you anything.
Scientific studies have proven that women’s brains are more emotionally driven than men’s are. Rather than thinking about the gratification of sex, her emotions might be causing her mind to wander. If she gets stuck in her head while you’re in bed with her, you’re much less likely to please her.
To get her in the right headspace, give her lots of personal attention. Tell her how beautiful she looks and let her know how psyched you are to be sleeping with her.
Don’t be afraid to ask her how she likes it during sex. A simple “how’s that?” or “do you like that, baby?” can go a long way.
You can even go bolder and ask her to tell you how she likes it. If she’s shy, then reassure her that you want to give her exactly what she wants.
The goal is to get her emotional walls down and set her up for a good night of pleasure, just how she likes it.
Let Go of Your Ego.
There is no “one size fits all” instruction manual for how to please a woman. No man is capable of pleasing a woman through his technique alone.
Instead, he has to listen to his woman and adjust his methods accordingly.
If you thought you’d mastered how to please a woman without fail, let go of that thought. If you go into it thinking you’re God’s gift to women, you won’t do anyone any favors.
Instead, focus your attention on her. Get her to tell you what she wants instead of assuming you already know. By being receptive to what she likes, you’re much more likely to cross the finish line.
Forget What Porn Has Taught You.
Many men make the mistake of turning to porn to figure out how to please a woman in bed. While it’s fine to look for ideas when you’re watching porn, there are definitely things you shouldn’t try in real life.
A big reason for this is that porn usually features extreme sexual scenarios, such as rough sex and BDSM. These don’t often reflect the preferences of most women.
If you try something without warning, she could find it painful, weird, or downright annoying.
This doesn’t mean that most women are “vanilla” lovers; most operate on more of a spectrum when it comes to the roughness they prefer.
Again, you will have to pay close attention to what your woman wants before you jump into anything.
Read Her Body.
If you want to learn how to please a woman in bed, look at her body language for guidance. This will tell you to stop, slow down, or adjust what you’re doing.
Here are some body language tips to keep in mind:
- Look at her posture. Does her body seem stiff or tense? If so, switch up what you’re doing or continue with foreplay until she is more relaxed.
- Is she showing signs of arousal? Look for dilated pupils, rising body temperature, and lots of wetness “down there.”
- Watch her facial expressions. If she looks bored or distracted, it’s time to try a different approach.
- If she flinches or looks uncomfortable, slow things down.
- Be perceptive of her moves to adjust the pace. For instance, if she is moving a lot or pushing you into her, then you should take things up a notch.
An extra word of advice here: if she’s liking what you’re doing, keep doing it exactly as you’re doing it. Don’t start going faster to get her to orgasm; it usually throws everything off.
Friction is Not Your Friend.
If you’re wondering how to please a woman, you won’t be able to do it without proper lubrication. Ideally, you’ve done enough foreplay to get her naturally wet.
However, even if your efforts aren’t doing the trick to get her wet, she could still be very into it. Some women just take a little more time to get fully aroused.
If that’s the case, you can keep going forward, but you’ll have to find an alternative.
It’s not a bad idea to keep a discreet bottle of lube within arm’s reach. That way, if you’re having trouble, you can just put some on and slowly work yourself in.
If you don’t have any lube handy, spit will work in a pinch. Just don’t be overly showy or gross about it (unless she’s into it).
Communication is Key.
One of the most important elements of how to please a woman is communication. No matter how good you are in bed, it’s impossible to know exactly what she likes.
Every woman is built differently and has different hot spots and fetishes that get her off.
Encourage her to guide you, but be sure you’re fully tuning in to her advice. For example, if she tells you to move your tongue a certain way while you’re going down, do exactly what she says.
However, you have to be sure you’re sticking to it; otherwise, she might get frustrated.
Also, don’t forget to communicate with your woman while you’re having sex. Tell her how good she feels and how incredibly hot she is.
That way, she’ll be even more confident and ready to let herself give in to pleasure.
Don’t Skip Foreplay.
The truth about most men is this: it doesn’t really take much to get aroused or to achieve an orgasm. In fact, a majority of the time, it’s a given that a man will have an orgasm.
If you’re wondering how to please a woman, on the other hand, the probability isn’t nearly as high. That’s why you have to put work in beforehand in order to succeed.
It’s extra important to dedicate some time for foreplay before you jump into sex. It’s just like what Michelle said when she was teaching Jim how to please a woman on American Pie: “you gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey!”
Here are a few tips and techniques for foreplay:
- Slowly run your hands around her body, focusing on erogenous zones like the neck, ear, breasts, and thighs.
- Again, every woman is different, so feel out her response. If she moans or starts breathing harder, take that as a green light to continue.
- Tease her by going down on her, kissing her thighs and lightly tonguing her without directly touching her clitoris. Keep this going until she begs you for more.
- Kiss her deeply, using your tongue to gently caress the side of hers. This will help build an emotional connection and get her wanting more.
Figuring out how to satisfy a woman isn’t easy, but it’s not rocket science. Getting her in the mood with a little foreplay is a key part of the process.
Research How to Please a Woman.
Now that we’ve gone over some basic principles for how to please a woman, take a moment and ask yourself if you really know the female anatomy.
It’s much more complex than a male’s and often requires more than simple penetration in order to get off.
If you don’t know much about the clitoris or where it’s located, this is vital information. Read about it, look at pictures, and do whatever you have to do to be confident.
Knowing where it is and what to do with it is essential for getting a woman off in bed.
You should also learn about the female G-spot, which is the extra-sensitive spot near the roof of the vagina, usually somewhere behind the belly button.
This varies from woman to woman, but if you can find it, you can easily make her explode with ecstasy.
There are also a lot of helpful books out there for learning like, how to please a woman. Don’t be embarrassed to do your homework. It’s only going to help you out (and her, of course).
Stimulate the Right Spots.
When you’re figuring out how to please a woman, there are some key techniques for getting her off.
Many women find it difficult (or impossible) to get off from penetration alone. There are other hot spots to take into account, mainly the clitoris and the G-spot.
Pleasuring the Clitoris
The clitoris is the small mound located near the top of the vulva. It’s extra-sensitive and plays a big part when you’re figuring out how to please a woman.
If you’re going down on her, pay special attention to the clitoris with your tongue. Don’t use too much pressure: start by lightly licking and adjust as necessary.
Find out what she likes and go from there.
You can also pleasure the clitoris while you’re having sex. Both doggy-style and reverse cowgirl are excellent positions for this.
Hitting the G-Spot
If you can find her G-spot, you’ll know how to please a woman. You can do it with your fingers using a “come hither” motion.
Or, when you’re inside her, try to angle yourself up and toward her belly button. If you hit a small mound of flesh and she starts to moan, you’re doing the right thing.
Get Ready for Next-Level Romance.
Figuring out how to please a woman can’t be solved with a simple “one size fits all” approach. However, if you take the time and play it right, she’ll be putty in your hands.
Now that you know all the ins and outs of pleasuring women, get ready for some seriously steamy bedroom sessions.
For more relationship tips, check out our blog.
is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author.
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