Did you know that you can save your marriage by asking the right questions? That’s something you wouldn’t consider until you know the questions you should be asking each other.
Whether you have just started a relationship or have been together for a long time, asking the right questions helps you learn more about each other.
While it is possible that you already know so much about your partner, needs, and wants to keep evolving. Because of that, you have to remain curious about what’s happening in your partner’s life by asking the right questions.
In 1000 Questions for Couples, Michael Webb strives to make it easier for you when it comes to getting to know your spouse. He has put together 1000 questions to help you “fall in love, stay in love, or grow deeper in love.”
According to him, asking the right questions can save you from heartache by exposing certain “red flags.” But you have to ask these questions in the initial stages of the relationship to avoid the inevitable pitfalls. After all, discussing the right things at the beginning is a foundation for a successful marriage.
What Are The 1000 Questions?
Michael Webb’s 1000 questions result from previous research by Dr. Arthur Aron, in which two strangers fell in love by asking the right questions.
The purpose of the 36 questions by Arthur was to build trust, openness, and intimacy. After reading about the story of strangers falling in love after asking these questions, Webb wrote the book, which has since become a big hit.
In the book, Webb presents 1000 questions to help couples to explore each other in greater depth. According to him, 300 of these questions are for those starting relationships.
Potential couples can ask themselves these questions to know each other better and to avoid potential pitfalls. The rest of the questions are for couples in marriage or long-term relationships who want to make them better.
According to Webb, the questions “go beyond small talk and simply making conversations.” In short, they aren’t questions to foster small talk but to help couples gain better knowledge of each other.
Even though 1000 questions seem too much, Webb has broken them down into various topical areas. With that, you can narrow it down to the exact thing you want to know about your partner.
The following are the different topics covered in the book and why you should ask questions in these areas.
Personality, Feelings, And Emotions
Whether at the beginning of a relationship or in the middle of a marriage, it’s essential to know your partner’s personality, feelings, and emotions. That’s because these three aspects can determine your partner’s suitability or the lack of it.
Just as the questions can help you build a strong relationship, they can expose an emotionally imbalanced individual. For example, you could ask: “What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?” With that, you will know whether the man or woman can quickly tell you, “I love you.”
You can also use some of the 1000 questions to find out some of the things your partner likes doing. An example of a question is, “On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice?” That will help you to know your partner’s favorite topics and whether they match with yours.
Health, Food, And Wellness
In today’s age, people pay more attention to what they eat or drink to stay healthy. Others are also engaged in exercise and other activities that promote wellness.
Perhaps, you want to be sure that your spouse won’t surrender to an unhealthy lifestyle. So you shoot the question: “Are you currently comfortable with your body? If not, what would you change to make you comfortable?”
As you enter into a relationship, it is natural to anticipate vacations together with your spouse. Both of you likely want a break to an exotic island or the beach. Possibly, the two of you might have completely different interests.
In 1000 Questions for Couples, you will find questions to ask your partner. A good example is, “If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be?” That would help you to know whether or not you have anything in common.
Also Related: 25 Marriage Counseling Questions that will Improve A Marriage.
Morals, Conviction, and Beliefs
In a question concerning morals, convictions, and beliefs, Webb asks, “If your friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, what would you do? How do you feel about your mate doing so?
What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous?” Asking these questions makes it possible for you to know whether you read from the same page concerning some issues. You can also avoid getting into the relationship if your beliefs don’t seem to rhyme.
Religion and Spiritual Matters
Compatibility in religious and spiritual matters is one of the most important considerations when entering a new relationship. So, it would help if you asked questions that tell you whether you share any beliefs.
That’s why Webb has proposed this question: “Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many potential mates that you could live blissfully with?”
Car and Driver
Webb doesn’t seem keen on leaving out anything that could affect your relationship. “If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle?” he asks.
That isn’t just a “car and driver” question but one that can tell you if your partner is selfish or not. If he or she cannot let you drive a newer car, would they give you any consideration? Of course, it is up to you to choose what to do.
Past and Future
By finding out details about your partner’s past, you can know what to expect. For example, you could ask: “Over the last five years, how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better?” Or, “If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why?”
Besides, it is essential to ask about your partner’s plans and expectations. According to Webb, you could ask: “Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? What steps do you need to take to achieve these goals?”
Hobbies and Entertainment
Webb also helps you find out if you and your spouse share similar hobbies. That’s important in any relationship since it can help you know if you will have a good time together.
Therefore, he asks, “If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn’t work for an entire year, what would you most likely do?” from your spouse’s answer; you can assess whether or not there is anything you could do together.
Love, Romance, and Date Nights
Whether you have just met each other or are already in a long-term relationship, you should determine your partner’s level of commitment. Webb suggests that you ask: “What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis that could help us remain closer?”
In the same way, he or she should tell you what they expect from the relationship.
You will know about that from the answer to this question: “Do you need to hear ‘I love you’ or similar words regularly from your partner?” Or, “When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone, or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time?”
Friends and Family
Every relationship doesn’t just involve the two lovers. Instead, you will also have to deal with friends and family members from both sides. That includes each other’s parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunties/uncles, and so on.
Webb suggests that you ask questions like: “Which family members should we buy birthday or special holiday gifts for?” That will help you to know the people that your spouse values the most in their circles.
It will also help if you ask: “How do you feel about friends, relatives, or people in need living in your house for a year?” Or, “What does my family do that annoys you?”
Relationship experts have described communication or the lack of it as a significant determinant of relationship success. If you want to know how freely your spouse will communicate with you, ask: “What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?”
It is essential to know the things that might prove challenging to talk about from the get-go. That way, you can avoid certain communication pitfalls before you enter the relationship.
Also Related: 15 Ways To Make Your Sex Life More Exciting.
Money is a tricky issue when it comes to building solid relationships. It doesn’t matter how much money you have. Instead, how you manage it is what’s most important.
In 1000 Questions for Couples, Webb suggests that you ask: “Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or one that come from the heart?” you would smell a gold digger from a kilometer away from the answer to that question. Or, “If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be?”
Relationships – Past and Present
Do you want to know the kind of relationship your spouse had in the past? If so, then you should ask the right questions.
For example, you may ask: “Do you prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times, and rocky patches?” Or, “What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changes since then?”
Sex or the lack of it can determine whether or not a relationship will last. But it is not just the quality of sex between the two of you that matters.
Instead, issues such as infidelity and how one reacts to it can affect the relationship. Webb suggests that you ask: “If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her?”
Why Are The 1000 Questions Important?
As much as these questions are fun, they can help you lay a good foundation for your relationship. After reading the book, you will get lots of tips and inspiration to make your relationship better.
The questions aren’t just for probing your spouse but for helping you think about the kind of relationship you want. In discussion with your partner, you can start with the easy questions and move on gradually to the more serious ones.
In the book: 1000 Questions for Couples, Webb goes beyond helping you know what to ask each other. He provides a way for you to know each other better, communicate better, and make helpful relationship decisions.
It can help you to determine whether or not the two of you are compatible with each other. That’s possible by discovering each other’s values, beliefs, and worldviews. Therefore, the book is worth buying and reading for those looking to make their relationships stronger.
About the Author
Michael Webb is an accomplished author and relationship expert with more than 20 years helping couples get successful relationships. The more he has helped couples, the more he has learned about relationships, translating that into 18 books.
Across the world, more than 10 million people have read his books. Because of his success as an author, the media in America consider him one of the foremost relationship experts.
He has even appeared on Oprah, discussing methods of rekindling relationships. Additionally, he has features on “Men are from Mars, Momen are from Venus,” and The 700 Club.
Every major newspaper in the US has featured Michael Webb in one way or another. Besides, journalists have quoted him in numerous features and interviews appearing in hundreds of magazines.
He has also been featured on more than 500 radio shows because of his work. So, you can trust him to deliver questions that can help you build or revive your relationship.
David Smallis the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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