Have you ever loved someone so much that breaking up with them feels so devastating? You can’t believe the person you loved is the same one who broke your heart. Mixed emotions, confusion, and total loss of control – the world you thought was firm crumbles right under your feet. How do you heal from a broken heart? No need to worry! Getting a broken heart gives you an opportunity to learn and grow. If you had depended on anyone else to make you feel great about yourself, now is the opportunity to discover how strong you are. For most individuals, being pushed to an emotional wall tends to bring out the creative instinct. After hitting rock bottom, the only way to go is upwards. So why should you despair? The following are the 17 proven ways to heal your broken heart:
Keep Away From Your Ex
If you are looking to heal your broken heart and move on, try not to maintain contact with your ex-lover. Connecting on social media sites such as WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook is a no-no. Tempting as it might be, stop checking how they are doing and whether they have moved on without you.
As Dr. Guy Winch suggests in his book: How to Fix a Broken Heart, doing so can only injure the wounds you are already suffering from. Burn all the bridges with your ex-love if you want to get over them sooner. The safest time you can be friends is after your broken heart has fully recovered.
Delay Friendship with Your Ex
Ever watched those movies and TV shows where exes remain friends immediately after a break-up? Do real-life situations really work like that? Hardly! Don’t fall for the temptation of maintaining a friendship with your ex soon after they broke your heart. Doing that will only make your broken heart symptoms worse. Howard Bronson and Mike Riley in their book: How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days suggest that you hold it for some time before reconnecting.
Master the skills to Build A Stronger Relationship
Being Socially Active
Who said that you should be lonely now that you are alone? It is true that you will be overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and misery. Does that, however, mean that you lock yourself in the house and sulk 24-seven? Hardly! Some people are so hard hit with a broken heart that they end up staying at home to get drunk, eat ice cream, and watch lots of movies.
Instead of going that route, go the way Carolyn Hughes suggests in her book: How to Heal a Broken Heart. Link up with your family and friends! Have a close support system composed of people who have unconditional love for you. According to research results, people with a strong support system tend to produce very little amounts of stress hormones including norepinephrine and cortisol. You will experience very minimal broken heart symptoms.
Exercise! Exercise! And Exercise!
There are a number of people looking for how to heal a broken heart from a cheating lover. No need to worry! Exercise is an effective way of fighting the chemicals flooding the body due to depression. These chemicals are known to stress you physically and mentally.
Bill McDowell in his book: How to Heal a Broken Heart and Stop the Pain, says exercise will help you cope with physical symptoms such as cramps, stiff neck, and sleeping problems. That way, you are able to feel happier sooner than expected.
Discover the Healing Effects of the Outdoors
What do you feel like doing now? Staying indoors and recite a ‘how to heal a broken heart poem’? As much as that feels like the right thing to do, it isn’t! It’s a proven fact that reconnecting with nature makes one feel happier.
In the book: Emotional First Aid, Guy Winch says living next to a green space is drastically beneficial to your mental health. It doesn’t cost you much in terms of time and money. A simple daily walk is beneficial both in terms of your physical health and mental well-being too. You have an opportunity to enjoy vitamin D intake even as you exercise. Nothing can beat that!
Rebound! Rebound! And Rebound!
How many people have told you not to try a rebound relationship? According to them, you aren’t ready. They also think you’re being unfair to your ex-lover. Truth be told, rebound relationships have their own problems. But that has nothing to do with the fact that one of you has recently experienced a broken heart.
As Susan J. Elliot says in her book: Getting Past Your Breakup, you are likely to view yourself as greatly desirable if you rebound as soon as possible. If anything, you will have no time to spend in a pity party sulking over your ex-partner. You will not just get over broken heart symptoms but also have more self-esteem.
Avoid Making a Serious Commitment
This might sound like the opposite of the advice on rebounding into another relationship. However, the purpose of a rebound is only for the short-term. It is not meant to morph into a long-term union. So try not to tie yourself down to a serious commitment so soon. That is if you want to learn how to heal a broken heart after a cheating incident.
According to the book: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Get Over Your Ex by Anthony Floyd, this will only bring back memories of your ex-lover. Apart from having to deal with that, you might end up hurting your new partner. Stay away from relationships until you’re emotionally and mentally stable.
Cry You A River!
Who says crying is bad for an individual with a broken heart? Cry for all you are worth! Why pretend to be strong when all you want to do is cry? Breaking down and crying is a great way of releasing the pent-up emotions. As Maxi Hey observes in her book: How to Heal a Broken Heart, no one has ever died from crying.
However, holding onto your emotions for longer than necessary can lead to increased stress leading to the likelihood of a heart attack. If anything, crying releases toxins through your tears thus detoxifying and bringing you a quick recovery. Give yourself a good cry and you will feel less angry and sad.
Writing a Daily Journal
You don’t have to be a literary giant to write quotes on how to heal a broken heart. It is even better if you can address it to your ex-lover. The amazing part is that you don’t have to send it to them! This is only a way of helping you make your heart lighter.
Jill Harris in her book: The Wolf in Your Bed, says that writing is very effective when it comes to lifting emotional strain. Turn this into daily journal entries through which you get to express everything you want to say. With time, the mental and emotional heaviness will begin to dissipate.
Learn To Love Yourself
Do you want to learn how to heal a broken heart in 30 days? Well, it’s possible! Be ready to put in the work though! According to Doris Jeanette in her book: How to Heal a Broken Heart and Stop the Hurt, the first 3 months are enough. You can heal a broken heart if you learn to love yourself again from the get-go. When you were in a relationship, you felt connected to your partner.
Now you are no longer together. Focus on your goals as an individual and you will no longer feel so much in pain. According to research findings, failure to rediscover and redefine yourself is detrimental to your psychological health. It will also derail your short-term recovery milestones. So, don’t lose time wallowing in the mire of your depression.
Do you often blame yourself for the broken relationship? That is normal. Fortunately, you’re not the first person who’s ended up with a broken heart. No relationship is perfect! Both of you contributed to the collapse of the relationship.
If you are currently blaming yourself, stop! You don’t want to start longing for the times you enjoyed in the company of your ex-lover. What’s done is done! Mistakes have been made and fixing them now is not possible. While you might ponder on how good the relationship might have been, you cannot turn back the hands of time.
As Eddie Connor observes in his book: Heal Your Heart, you need to accept the mistakes you made. Also, accept the fact that you can do nothing about them. That way, you can move on and avoid the mistakes you made in the past. Besides, It’s a two-way street! You couldn’t have ended the relationship all by yourself. Some relationships are just never meant to be!
Just like some of the commonly used drugs, love can be very addictive. You would wonder why so much literature, songs, and films have been dedicated to love? According to the book: The Heartbreak Cure by A.C. Miller, the brain is very vulnerable when it comes to love addiction. That is why a break-up can have devastating emotional effects. For once, your brain no longer has access to the happy hormones.
Instead, hormones that drive you into depression are released. If you are looking to learn how to heal a broken heart and move on, try meditation. Yoga has been shown to be addictive but in a good way. When you meditate, you release the hurtful feelings and negative energy which enables you to get better sooner. Meditation helps individuals with a broken heart to be able to view their broken relationships as a blessing in disguise.
What’s your favorite track?
Do you know what music can do to heal a broken heart? Kirk Laman in his book: How to Heal Your Broken Heart, says music does not just have a positive effect on your health but also distracts you from focusing on the strained relationship. Listening to music can help improve the health of your heart and mind. Go for songs that make you happy! The more upbeat it is, the better you will feel! Stay clear of blues or songs that remind you of your EX. It isn’t worth it!
Lots of Laughter
People with a broken heart are likely to be greatly stressed physically, mentally and emotionally. What has that to do with laughter? It is widely believed that laughter in itself is medicine. Daphne Rose Kingma and Katherine Woodward Thomas in their book: Coming apart, highly recommend laughter.
According to them, laughter has the power of triggering a variety of brain sensors apart from releasing endorphins. Just like smiling, laughter communicates to your body the fact that you are happy. ‘What’s there to laugh about after a break-up’, you might ask. The answer to that might just be, ‘to be happy’. Laughter, whether spontaneous or forced makes your body adjust into a happy state, even in the midst of a broken heart.
Go Slow On the Junk
Why do you eat junk food? To feel good? Junk food might make you feel good, at least in the short-term. In the end, the digested junk will cause a deterioration in your body and mind.
Did you know that a healthy diet can help you get over a broken heart? If you want to learn how to heal a broken heart from cheating, avoid taking excess sugar and alcohol. According to Robin Martel in his book: Get over a Break-Up, you need to get rid of the potato chips! That’s if you hope to recover soon.
For most individuals, dwelling on memories of the broken relationship and overthinking almost comes by default. Stop it! Get busy with things that must be done.
As Lady Abbiegayle says in her book: How to Mend & Heal Your Broken Heart, you need to ensure you have no time to think about your ex-lover. So work or study. Do everything you have to do to avoid dwelling in the past.
Throw Away All The Reminders
What are the things that are likely to remind you of your ex? Is it a t-shirt he bought for you? Get rid of any trinkets and gifts. Keeping these things constantly in view can only remind you of your ex-lover. That’s definitely no way to get rid of broken heart symptoms.
Marin Lopez and Maria Jesus suggest in their book: How to Heal a Broken Heart that you should keep all memorabilia out of sight until you have put the relationship behind you. Then can you display the stuff in the open?
It is easy to get over a broken relationship if you are willing to take the necessary steps. How soon you heal from a broken heart will depend on how committed you are willing to be. Don’t procrastinate.
Start your healing journey now! Dwelling in the past will only derail the healing process. You’re stronger than you think! You will over the breakup. Give it time, your Brocken heart shall mend!
David Smallis the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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