Sexually Arouse a Man: Top 17 Proven Ways

By David Small •  Updated: 11/01/19 •  15 min read

Sexually arouse a man is searched for more than 2 million times on the worldwide web. Most people tend to forget that a major part of sex happens in mind.

Many women visualize men as horny beings who are ready to jump on you at the snap.

The fact of the matter is sometimes you have to arouse a man to get him in the mood sexually. It is a straightforward task if you know what you are to do.

All it requires is to identify the male arousal triggers of your man and being creative.


Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

Do a little research on the male arousal areas and know where to touch and caress him at what point in time during sex.

Men are visual animals, so learn a few things on how to stimulate your man visually. It should be an easy task since all it requires are simple tweaks on a few aspects of your dressing and walking styles.

This topic sounds enticing. I hope after reading this article. You will be better informed on a few proven tips to arouse your man sexually.

Let us start with 17 top tips to sexually Arouse a Man. Feel free to be creative to suit his sexual needs better.


A man’s primal desires are stimulated when he thinks of doing things that are wild and forbidden.

According to Cadence Baxter in her book, Blow His Mind: 101 Hot Tips to Please, Your Man in Bed, a man’s sexual desires are aroused when he thinks of his wildest fantasies.

Signs of his sexual arousal will begin to show when you lead him to talk of kinky sex or trying out new ideas. It will be stimulating for both of you.

You will be surprised and excited to learn about some of the things he has in his mind for a while. Be open to these ideas, but remember to be vague. Let him be the one to give details.

Using his imagination will make him aroused to high levels, which will be arousing to you too.

Barbara Keesling explains this clearly in her book Men in Bed: What Every Woman Needs to Know about Her Guy’s Sexual Behavior. Know the signs of male arousal to sniff him out before he does anything.

I am sure that most of the time, it is your man who initiates sex. When you take charge and be the one to initiate sex, he will be aroused at the prospect of what is on the menu today.

On the same note, your man may be a little slacking in one of his bad days. Do not just lay there dormant and let things fly.

Take over from his and show him some of your moves. Let him be the one to enjoy the peep show as he watches you go to action.

Related Article: 21 Amazing Ways to Turn on Your Husband Sexually.

While your man might act like he knows everything he is doing, at times, he just is fumbling and guessing. Why don’t you save him this ambiguity and say what you wish him to do?

Do worry about offending him by stating what is not working for you. Instead, focus on the advantages by telling him the things he does that make you feel great in bed.

As the “perverted Negress,” Mollena Lee Williams says in one of her blogs on, daring to get what you wished for will be your last regret.

Being an explorer will let him learn your greatest desires, and he will be open to sharing his.

Him telling you this is one of the sure signs that a guy is getting turned on. You will not be guessing anymore.

A woman coming out of the sea

Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

Most couples struggle with the desires of kinky sex while still burying it deep within them. Take the first step by being honest with yourself. Admit you like it, or at least, you think about it.

Daring to explore kinky sex is a particular male arousal trigger. If he cannot admit his desires, be the one to help him discover them.

You will be happy you did it for him. It is another specialty where the ‘perverted Negress’ Mollena lends her hand.

She advises against being a secretive and guilt-ridden dreamer. Keeping your desires bottled up deep inside you only acts in demotivating both your sex lives.

Learning a few things about your desires will enable you to practice kinky sex safely and enjoy it better.

Sheena La Shay, a confessed wild woman, and intellectual sensual shaman talks on the need to let your body fully express itself during orgasm. Do not be measure or stifle your moans.

Do not be afraid of your orgasm or how your body will react. Let the energy rush flow through you. Make him experience this with you by letting him see how your body reacts.

Forget about social expectations, and do not be ashamed or feel guilty. When you are with him, let him see you are vulnerable to his touch and his love.

This will bring him closer to you, and sexual arousal will be fulfilling for both of you as a coupling.

It will tremendously improve both your sexual experiences. It will be pure bliss.

Related Article: Top 17 Ways To Initiate Sex with Your Husband.

According to the American Psychology Association, research has proved that men and women have very different ways of experiencing sexual arousal.

For instance, men with a healthy erection reacted better shock arousal as their minds respond to it as meaning they are about to have sex.

Men with sexual problems like ED responded to shock arousal with the fear that they may not be able to rise to the occasion by not getting the cues.

Overall the threat of shock arousal increased their sexual arousal.

In another example, men who are easily aroused tend not to give much thought when they are not excited. They will brush it off as a minor issue caused by external factors.

The thing is different men react differently to arousal depending on their psychological state.

Sexually Arouse a Man

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According to the cosmopolitan, learning the potent arousal triggers are a great way to get your man aroused. Different men have different trigger areas so try to find out your man’s trigger areas.

Your man will have his unique pleasure areas. Try caressing his scalp or a tug on his hair. Men also react when you touch the prostate area and their butt cheeks.

Then go for his toes and his sweet spot on his pod.

Be keen and learn the spots where he is most reactive to your touch. It is a great way to arouse your man as he will feel better as you touche his erotic zones.

Sex will be better since he will be stimulated more when the places he reacts to the most are touched.

Related Article: 17 Best Ways on How to Attract Your Husband in Bed.

According to the renowned psychologist Joel Block, variety is significant when it comes to sexual arousal since it keeps him on his toes.

When you mix things up your man will not know what to expect next time.

Repetition is a sure arousal killer. The first few times may be excellent but when the monotony starts to creep in, it becomes a significant issue.

Just changing the simple things like position and speed can go a long way in spicing up your sex life. Be open to new ideas and be creative.

Let your imagination reign supreme in the bedroom, or whichever place you decide to have sex.

Be careful not to overdo it. If you see something that he likes more, linger for a while with some variations to spruce it up.

In his book Art of the Quickie  J. Block, the author talks about the fun of having quickies. During one of his lunch breaks when at work, give him a pleasant surprise.

Take him to a secluded place or even his office if it offers privacy.

Having quickies will keep him aroused every time he sees you. In his mind, he will just be visualizing the things you do.

There is no better way to sexually arouse a man than have him have wild thoughts at all times. It will work for you too. These wild sex ventures will also have you horny at times of the day.

The author adds that limiting your sex to the bedroom will make it less exciting. Move out of the bedroom once in a while.

So the next time you are making dinner, and you see signs of your guy turned on, do not be afraid to let him have you in the kitchen.


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This is one of the many tips given by Olivia St. Claire in her book, 203 Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed is talking sex to him.

Talk dirty to him while he is at work. By the time he arrives home in the evening, he will be fully aroused.

Then you can try out the tip you have just learned before. When he is at home have a kinky talk while with him in the house. Remember to keep eye contact and see how he reacts.

If he is the shy type, ease him in. The first few days, be a bit naughty but not too much. He will get used to it after some time.

Olivia St. Claire covers this topic in a more detailed form in her book. Make a point of taking a look at her book to get more information.

Related Article: How To Love Your Husband #75 Great Tip.

According to the sex therapist and sexologist Shamyra Howard, sex is more than a physical connection between couples. It goes deeper and is an intimate connection that provides a special bond.

When you make love to him as opposed to having sex as a physical obligation, he becomes more attached to you.

When you are more connected to your partner, just a simple touch is enough to arouse him.

Having a more profound connection also means you will understand him better. You will know what arouses him more or when it is the best time to arouse him.

Shamyra farther opines that men will look at sex as making love when it is suggested first by their partner.

Your man does want to make love; you have to show him how to get over the stigma associated with the word making love.

Research published on on love and sex in the digital age, reveals a lot about modern dating.

Men like women who are self-aware and proactive. Women who show confidence even in the bedroom turn men on.

Among the most common complaint among men about their partners to a psychologist is that they are always the ones to initiate sex.

Initiate sex sends a strong signal to your man that you want him. He will feel attractive and appreciated. This will be a significant confidence booster.

When you are not sure how to go about it, ask him for some tips. Enquire the things he would like you to do to get him turned on when you initiate sex.

This cue and clues will surely turn him on the next time he sees you doing them.


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Men are visual beings. There is no other sure way to stimulate a man than wearing kinky clothes. A red mini dress is a start.

Men react to kinky red clothing by getting aroused. To men, the red color signifies power.

When he comes home and finds you in sexy lingerie and high heels, be sure his mind will already be racing. You will not even have to say a thing; he will get the message loud and clear.

Get to know the types of clothing that turn him on. Be keen and observe for signs your guy is getting turned on depending on your mode of dressing.

After you know, get a variety of these dresses or whatever he likes. When you want to arouse him, let him find you dressed in his favorite kinky dressing.

Related Article: 26 Best Quick Ways to Attract Your Husband Sexually.

When you are dormant during sex, it is hard to get your man sexually aroused. Learn the pleasure point of your man that you can touch to send him to seventh seven.

Men react individually so find the specific areas your man likes to be touched.

Caress while looking for signs of arousing. Learn as much as you can about his anatomy and explore the whole body. Touching and caressing are the fastest way to stimulate a man sexually.

Do not be shy to touch him anywhere. The part that you may be ignoring and feeling shy about maybe one of the areas he likes affected (A.K.A the prostate area)

This site also offers a few insights on the male anatomy. It will be a helpful and educational tool in this regard. Tailor the things you learn to suit your man to arouse him sexually.

Hiding a little of your body keeps him guessing what it underneath. Less is always more. Toy with his mind and give him a shock.

He will not know what hit him, and before he knows it, he will be sexually aroused and ready for you.

In the book, The New Male Sexuality: The Truth about Men, Sex and Pleasure, the author gives us a few tips on how to sexually arouse a man and achieve this.

For men, what they visualize is what they know they will get. Men like to look so let him have a look.

Some couples have talked of having a large mirror beside you as you have sex (or as you make love). It looks like a brilliant idea. You can give it a try and let me know about it.

Try positions that let him have an excellent visual of as much of your body as possible. It is essential to learn how to arouse your man visually.

Sexually Arouse

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The idea here is encouraging him to be spontaneous and let it come out of the blue. On the same note, sometimes a break is what he may need to get him back on the groove.

After taking time off, he will start communicating on the things that he loves and may be missing. He will come running to you fully aroused without you having to do a single thing.

Having a break is also beneficial to both of you as it breaks the monotony. Having sex each other day makes him get used to it.

When he misses it will be more enjoyable for both of you as you will have missed him too.

I doubt if there is anyone who is yet to read this book or at least watched the movie. It is not a crime if you are however to know about it.

You now have a perfect excuse and motivation to look for it and learn from its vast knowledge.

You will get a few invaluable tips on how you can sexually arouse your man

Related Article: 21 Proven Ways to Get Your Husband Interested Sexually.


These are just a few tips out of a whole universe that you can learn from. The most valuable resource is your friends.

When on a girl’s night out, do not just gossip. Learn a few tips from your girlfriends.

You will be surprised at what you have been missing all this time. How to sexually arouse man is not rocket science. It is simple when you know what he wants you to do.

Do not just rely on what he likes, be creative, and let your imagination lead you to uncharted waters. He will appreciate it. Once you keep his mind racing, he will always be aroused.

Go ahead and learn a few tips from this article and feel free to share your experiences. Do not limit yourself to these tips.

There is a whole world of information out there waiting for you to explore.

Find out as much information as you can, you will reap the benefits for sure.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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