15 Myths About Sexual Pleasure You Need To Debunk

By David Small •  Updated: 05/05/17 •  14 min read

Sexual pleasure seems to be an issue that’s surrounded by so many myths. Most of these surround women and whether they have the ability to get an orgasm during sexual intercourse. Yet, as M.D. Wheat says, relationships are Intended for Pleasure. Men don’t just understand if the women are genuine or they are just faking it. Sexual Pleasure

In many relationships, it’s the men who tend to be the ones initiating lovemaking. The role of the women seems to be that of warding off overtures from the men. It’s, therefore, mind-boggling to understand if women want sex as much as their men. Or whether it’s possible to give a woman sexual pleasure.

Many of the myths surrounding sexual pleasure arise from the difficulty men have reading women between the sheets. Dr. Sadie Allison says as much in her book Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure. It doesn’t help that a number of women have admitted to faking orgasms frequently. This results in a group of frustrated, flummoxed, and insecure men. They just can’t tell how good they are when it comes to pleasing a woman.

Here are 15 myths about the sexual pleasure you need to debunk:

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Men by their very nature are known to be easily sexually aroused. In most relationships, it is the man who is usually on the forefront initiating lovemaking. Women, on the other hand, tend to be the one saying no to the man’s every advance. This has made some men to form the notion that women do not want sex. Such men believe that women must be persuaded and cajoled into having sex. Sexual pleasure is seen as something that’s not a top priority for women.

Nothing can be far from the truth. While men are chasers in the game of love, women like being chased. Dr. Sadie Allison the author of the book, Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure says it makes them feel wanted, loved, and appreciated. When they say no, they simply want the man to put in more effort. And why not? This cat and mouse game is only meant to hype the chase and lead to more sexual pleasure. As such, women love sex just as much as men do. You can take that to the bank, if in doubt.

As much as it might be true that 30 percent of women have never had an orgasm, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. The reason why some women don’t reach orgasm is because their partners are not experienced enough to give them sexual pleasure. The men are either too anxious to have great sex or have underlying problems that lead to premature ejaculation.

Lack of foreplay is also to blame for having most women fall short of the pleasurable sexual climax. Although they may not say it, most women feel frustrated when sex is all routine without pleasure. Most of them end up faking an orgasm just to make the man get over with it.

Lack of foreplay is also to blame for having most women fall short of the pleasurable sexual climax. Although they may not say it, most women feel frustrated when sex is all routine without pleasure. Most of them end up faking an orgasm just to make the man get over with it.

In reality, all women have the ability to reach orgasm. So says Barbara Keesling in her book Sexual Pleasures: Reaching New Heights of Sexual Arousal and Intimacy. They have a brain and vagina, which play a big role when it comes to sexual pleasure. All a woman needs is a man who knows the female body inside out.

A man who has knowledge of erotic spots and proven sex techniques can drive any woman wild with sexual pleasure. Also, the man should have the ability to take charge in the bedroom to ensure the woman has an orgasm. With these abilities, a man can teach any woman what it takes to have sexual pleasure.

 Myths About Sexual Pleasure You Need To Debunk

Some men believe that good girls don’t have the get naughty in the bedroom. They even think that such girls only want boring missionary type sex. Such men take it further by believing that only sexually promiscuous women or bad girls get naughty in the bedroom. The myth, therefore, is that ‘good girls’ can’t try taboo things that lead to sexual pleasure.

M.D. Wheat said, even the good girls like having dirty sex in plenty. They like getting as naughty as the bad girls, even more. The man only needs to value the woman more for her to want to get naughty with him in the bedroom. While men may want to have sex, women are only happy when they have great sex. There is only one way to give a woman great sex – being dominant, talking dirty, and giving her vaginal orgasms. So give that nice girl some sexual pleasure.

There is a group of people who believe that women dislike being dominated by men in the bedroom. People who belong to this school of thought believe that women prefer being the ones in control of things. This could have emanated from the fact that men tend to be the ones initiating sex and the women saying no. This makes women seem to be the ones with the power to move sexual intercourse ahead.

Although not obvious, most women crave for their men to take control during sex. According to M.D. Wheat, women are by nature submissive in the bedroom. They long to kowtow to every whim of a dominant man. So, if you are the man, taking control is likely to bring more sexual pleasure in the relationship. Tell a woman where you want to take her and she will go with you. Men, therefore, need to take control by being more dominant.

The ability to give a woman sexual pleasure has nothing to do with a man’s experience. Having had sex with hundreds, even thousands of women doesn’t make you the best lover. All women want are men who can give them sexual pleasure in bed. This has nothing with the number of women a man has slept with. After all, a man might have slept with 100 women and had the worst sex with all of them.

Giving a woman sexual pleasure has more to do with a man’s level of confidence in his abilities. For a man is ready to explore all possible angles to sex is better than being experienced. So, don’t worry if your man appears not to have experience. You never know what he has in store for you.

Many men just can’t get over worrying about the size down there. A man could be having a mammoth tool and not know how to use it to give a woman sexual pleasure. All a woman wants is a man who will give her awesome sexual pleasure. Give her a mind-blowing orgasm and your woman wouldn’t care how big you have it down there.  says size doesn’t matter.

Whether it’s big or small, using it to give your woman sexual pleasure is all that matters. It has much to do with knowing the finer touches which start with having foreplay. Touching a woman in places that rouse her and turn her on is much more important than the sexual intercourse itself. The mistake that most men make is jumping straight into it before they put the woman in the mood. So, knowing how to play the game should take precedence over the actual size of a man’s arsenal.


photo by Artem Beliaikin on pexels.com

People believe that women are incapable of having a number of orgasms. That’s not really true. Women who have the ability to have one orgasm are physiologically able to have a bunch.Dr. Sadie Allison says “it doesn’t matter if they are sequential or serial orgasms”.

If a sexual encounter starts with foreplay followed by scintillating sex, then it’s not hard for a woman to achieve this. Of course, this cannot be achieved when the man jumps straight into the sexual act without foreplay. It might also boil down to limited time and inexperience on the part of the man. This is supported by a publicized magazine survey which found that 90 percent can have multiple climaxes in a self-stimulation session. So, it’s not the woman’s ability to have sexual pleasure; rather, it’s the man’s skill and patience that matters.

Some people believe that women can’t have their orgasms as quickly as men. In reality, this is not true. Most women have the ability to get sexual pleasure as quickly as men. Surveys have been done to show that women can have orgasms in the first three to four minutes if intercourse. However, the women have to be turned on or feeling so excited that they can’t help but climax.

Naturally, the sexual response cycle by women is much longer than that of men. As such women will take as long as eleven minutes during intercourse to have an orgasm. The worst is that there are a number of women who just cannot climax from sex. This calls for men to be more determined in seeking to give women sexual pleasure.

It might work that way for men, but for women, it’s rather different. Not to say that it’s impossible for women to achieve orgasm from vaginal sex. This is denied in the book Sexual Pleasure. In fact, women can get sexual pleasure from vaginal sex, although many don’t. Having an orgasm has more to do with how a woman feels during sex and their partner’s technique. Orgasm in women may come from stimulation of the clitoris and g-spot in the vagina.

It has been noted that most women achieve orgasm through persistent stimulation of the clitoris. However, this could also come through stimulation of the vagina or a woman’s breasts. The long and short of it is that women can get sexual pleasure in multiple ways, not just through vaginal stimulation.


Most people wouldn’t tell you what really leads to great sex. Truly, some people, especially those in new relationships tend to have great chemistry. For them, everything clicks from the get-go or for the first three to six months of the relationship. According to Sheri Winston, author of Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, it that doesn’t happen always. Generally, great sex takes patience, practice, and some forgiveness. To have sexual pleasure, you ought to accept your own body and that of your partner as well.

Sexual pleasure, therefore, has to be nurtured through risking to make mistakes and working to get over them. Even couples in long-term relationships don’t have great sex all the time. Sometimes, couples have sex to please the partner with the expectation that the partner will also please them at some point. Other times, sex is only for releasing tension, go to sleep, feel closer after an argument or make babies. Many other times, sex might just be to make you feel in love.

Most people believe that a man has to be aroused to enjoy foreplay. If anything, sexual foreplay doesn’t require a man to have an erection. That doesn’t, however, mean that a man wouldn’t derive sexual pleasure from turning on his woman.

All it takes is a woman with a present mind to get all the pleasure she can from foreplay. As it were, women tend to enjoy foreplay more than intercourse. For them, they would rather have foreplay, with or without intercourse. They tend to enjoy it more if the man takes time fanning her pleasure rather than rushing it for intercourse.

The view of many people is that sex is a journey focused on a pre-determined destination – orgasm. To them, what happens along the way doesn’t really matter. What they don’t know is that sex is about much more than just having an orgasm. Intimacy should be about having sexual pleasure for you and your partner. But this can only be achieved through exploration to ensure each sexual encounter is a new adventure.

Many people have the misplaced notion that sexual pleasure is all about getting an orgasm. When they don’t achieve a climax, most of them end up feeling frustrated. Included in the things they are doing wrong is poor stimulation, lack of knowledge, and the inability to let go. Many of them are so worried about it that they just cannot have an orgasm. By focussing too much on the end, they fail to experience the passing pleasure of the moment. This only makes sexual pleasure look like an unattainable mirage, which shouldn’t be the case.

This is something that most women can be accused of. Many of them do it to boost their men’s egos. They make their men feel great about their own sexual prowess by making them think they are giving the pleasure. Instead, what these women should be doing is teach their partners what works best for them. That way, the man will know exactly what to do to give the woman the sexual pleasure she desires.

What you may not know is that men appreciate a little guidance to know how to give you sexual pleasure. Although you might not want an orgasm, sex should feel pleasurable. Therefore make a point to tell your man exactly what you want. This will save you lots of stress.


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Some people believe that sex should last for hours for it to be considered pleasurable. It all depends on the couple involved. As such, couples should make sex last for as long as they want to. In reality, sex for most couples lasts for between 3 to 13 minutes. While women may find long sessions of sex pleasurable, men can find them boring. Many a man would prefer sex to end as soon as possible.

That’s not to say that there are no people who enjoy slow, sensual sexual pleasure. It all depends on how, why, who, when, and where you have sex. If the time you have if just enough for a quickie, then three minutes is more than enough. You may lack time to reach an orgasm but might end up having longer sex later in the day. Get over the myth have more sexual pleasure.

Many people have built the wrong picture of what an orgasm should be from what they have seen in movies. This is, however, very unrealistic. In reality, orgasms vary in character and intensity. That’s normal. Sheri Winston says, no two occasions are the same.

So why should you expect to orgasm the same way on two different occasions? There are days when you will have an orgasm that doesn’t feel so great. Other times, you will derive maximum sexual pleasure from the encounter with your partner. So get over expecting to have it the same way always.


Certainly, marriage is intended for Pleasure. For this reason, couples should get over the myths and seek to give each other more sexual pleasure. The common myths discussed here only acts as inhibitions of what would otherwise be great relationships. It’s time people got over their misplaced beliefs to enjoy sex more.

David Small

is the founder and editor of relationshiptips4u. He is a dating, marriage & relationship coach, speaker, and author. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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